Comic horoscope for 2022 Tiger in verse and prose


There are fewer and fewer days left in the outgoing year, everyone is summing up the results of the past year and making plans for the next year. Many people, including us, want to know what awaits us next year. A comic horoscope for the new year of the Tiger 2022 in verse will help you find out what will happen in your life soon. Below you will find a large selection of short, funny, funny predictions for the coming year.

Comic horoscope for 2022 in verses according to the signs of the zodiac

As you begin to get acquainted with this humorous horoscope for 2022, do not take the comments to heart, but try to draw conclusions - after all, there is some truth in every joke! If you are interested in a more serious horoscope, you can create your own individual natal chart, it’s free on our website.

Poetic horoscope for 2022 of the Black Water Tiger

The coming year is preparing different events for us. Someone will have a daughter, Another will take a subsidy. Capricorn will buy an apartment with a mortgage for a hundred years, Scorpio will decide to marry Cancer, like a future athlete, and will learn to run away from problems and worries. The house will be presented to the twins on a red platter. Aries learn a lot about themselves and others, and fate will force Taurus to make cabbage rolls at night. Because the holiday is tomorrow, Because it’s New Year, and thus God will save Pisces and Virgo from troubles. Leo will start making friends with Taurus. Aquarius will give his mother the most expensive gift. Five excellent pressure cookers! Sagittarius will go on vacation beyond the three seas, and Libra will have happiness and freedom, thanks to heaven for everything!

Each zodiac sign has special character traits, which, depending on the eastern symbol of the year, appear every year to one degree or another. We offer you an interesting, simple, cheerful and humorous horoscope for 2022 in prose verses individually for each zodiac sign, which will delight you during the New Year. These are great congratulations that will make you laugh heartily.

Cool horoscopes for the New Year holiday.

7. Cool HOROSCOPE - comparison with household appliances. Aries:/You are an iron!

From the outside it often seems that everything is going very smoothly for you. But only you know to what temperature it has to be heated to create the effect of this “smooth” sliding. One can only envy the perseverance and determination with which you iron the reality given to you - often crumpled and unsightly - to the desired state. But how it transforms after your intervention, a mountain of crumpled material becomes a neat, freshly ironed pile. This world would be a much better place if there were more such transformers for the better!

Taurus:/You are a teapot!

If this were a furniture horoscope, you would no doubt be a sofa - reliable, solid, but you can always be relied upon. But you are a teapot, don’t think anything bad, it sounds proud to us. You, like a samovar, are always at the head of the table, everything revolves around you. Everyone wants tea ten times a day, and that’s all for you. Everyone’s cups are small and empty, but you are big and full, so you fill the emptiness with meaning, the law of nature, so to speak. Moreover, everyone tries to look under the lid, they don’t understand that the water won’t boil before it boils. The idea, in general, is simple, but some people have to pour seven glasses of tea before they come up with the idea. Of course, you don’t feel sorry for it, but you still need to add water to the kettle on time, otherwise the spiral will burn out.

Gemini:/You are computers!

And with a complete set: your processor is smart, your monitor is clear, and your keyboard is ergonomic. You contain and process the most complex information when such a task is set, but to set it, you need a mouse. A computer without a mouse is a valuable system in itself, but it is impossible to use it. The mouse is the approach to the computer. In general, of course, you can plug in any one and use it at the very least, but your systems respond faster and better to fine optical control.

Cancer:/You are a gas stove!

Oooh, very good stove. You feed, supply, provide for everyone, take care of everything, worry about everyone, everything in your home revolves around you. You have all the warmth and sincerity, but sometimes you ask yourself: “Why am I baking and baking, but when will I live?” And then you answer to yourself: “I have a stove, that’s why I bake, my lot is this: all my life “on the farm.” Sometimes you begin to smoke a lot, and this is a serious test for everyone, including you. In fact, everything is not so bad, you just need to sit down, and this is not a whim, it is a necessity both for you and for those around you.

Leo:/You are a vacuum cleaner!

You overshadow all the sounds of this world; compared to you, everyone else is inaudible and insignificant. With a powerful stream of fresh air, you sweep away dust and routine, you can stir up any swamp, paint everything around with bright colors. You are a bundle of focused energy, and you are capable of drawing a lot into this stormy cycle, including things that you don’t need at all. You take on any task with the same enthusiasm, be it the size of a pin or the size of a closet. Learn not to be upset that you can’t fit a closet into yourself, think better: do you need it?

Virgo:/You are a video camera!

Look carefully at this world, notice everything, write it down, and present it in an analyzed, digitized form. Yes, this is a smart device, but it is wrong to think that it only records what is happening. Oh no! The sensitive optics of a video camera can miraculously transform reality, both for the better and for the worse. There are people who do not like a video camera and categorically do not want to shoot beautifully, but there are others - and they are the lucky ones. If the camera really loves someone, it will at least make a star in no time.

Libra:/You are a radio tape recorder!

It’s boring for the scale needle to show a banal number of kilograms; it’s much more fun to wander through the frequencies of FM stations. What a huge world lies in your range, how many feelings, thoughts, and melodies it contains. And how difficult it is to choose just one station. But you have to choose, because your tossing between frequencies is accompanied by terrible noise and crackling. On the other hand, it’s better to chatter for five minutes and then listen to good music, and this is always very helpful. They love you, everything is brighter and sharper with you, joy is fuller and fun is more unbridled, even being sad next to you is more interesting.

Scorpio:/You are a harvester!

They are capable of crushing anything to smithereens; resistance is useless, because you can handle everything except concrete. You want real power over the world and you understand that no one has ever been able to achieve it without destructive power. This is the structure of this world: on the path of creation there is a stage of destruction, and creation is the second part of your nature, and the second stage of preparing a dish from chopped, planed, and twisted ingredients with a food processor.

Sagittarius:/You are TV!

And not only because you, just like the TV, emit heat and glow from the inside. The main thing is that you generously share everything you have with others. You give yourself to people. But what they say is true: don’t do good to people, you won’t see evil. People may criticize you and consider you a source of trouble. You tell them that you are just reflecting the real picture of the world, and in response they hear that everything is happening the other way around - the world is created in the image and likeness of what you show. Who is right, who controls whom? Perhaps only you know the truth.

Capricorn:/You are a refrigerator!

Important and thorough, a key figure not only in the kitchen, but in the entire house. Even though you are a refrigerator, you warm your soul. Calm and strict, it’s hard to guess what’s inside you from your appearance. And there, you know, there are hazel grouse with pineapples, or a couple of rotten apples, or even completely empty. In the case of the refrigerator, Carlson’s philosophical phrase is more true than ever: “There is nothing here, and there will never be anything here if you don’t put anything here!”

Aquarius:/You are a washing machine!

Not because water is also poured into the washing machine, but because you approach any task that is “charged” with the same seriousness and scrupulousness. Only strong material can withstand such meticulousness, multiplied by the power of your nature; you can wear thinner fabric to the thread. Try to restrain your pressure, control yourself - sometimes everything is already clean, but you rinse and rinse. Learn to choose the right program, use a short cycle or delicate wash mode on occasion.

Pisces:/You are cell phones!

You, just like a cell phone, at first glance are calm and don’t bother anyone, lie somewhere “in the corner,” but only until they start calling you. When the mode is on, you pass through a huge amount of information, including unnecessary and unnecessary information. But because you're a phone, you often can't choose who you talk to. It runs out of charge quite quickly and needs to be connected to a battery. But you, like cell phones, are constantly improving and enter each new stage in your life with a model of a new line.

(Source: galya.ru)

8. New Year's joke - Cool horoscope

If tryndets happens to... - ARIES. Aries will solve it. Any idiot. And right away. Himself, proudly, silently.

— TAURUS. Taurus will solve it. Then he will tell everyone. Everyone. To be on the safe side, he will write to the newspaper. For sure everyone.

- TWINS. They will share. They will try to give everything to Aries, but if Aries does not agree to everything, they will give it to Sagittarius

- CANCER. He will start crying in advance, and to shut him up, someone will take the whole lot upon themselves... + “chewed crayfish snot.” If no one does this, Cancer will do everything perfectly on his own. It’s not at all clear what the whining was about. - LION. Leo will call everyone together. He will deal with the tryndets himself. He bows, takes flowers, gives an autograph and leaves.

- VIRGOS. Virgo will be upset. Especially if she didn’t plan this bullshit. Virgo will think. Will find a solution. Will decide. Draw conclusions

— SCALES. The scales will weigh the thirteenth. Weigh it again. They will come to the conclusion that it is somehow too much, and they will give it to someone like Leo or Aries. If you try to hit Virgo, you will immediately receive a blow - Virgo only gets punches on a schedule

— SCORPIO. Scorpio will take a look. He will cheerfully say, “What a bastard!” and will score.

- SAGITTARIUS. Sagittarius will be upset. Then he will have fun. Then he will laugh at himself, at the Tryndets, for a long time, he will remember what other Tryndets he had in his life, he will tell everyone around and forget. If the problem doesn’t go away on its own, it will most likely have to be resolved by some Leo.

- CAPRICORN. Capricorn will try to immediately refuse the tryndets, declaring that he does not want to. In 90% of cases this fails for some reason. If it doesn’t screw up at all, Capricorn will solve everything in the best possible way. But always at someone else's expense.

- AQUARIUS. Aquarius will begin to joyfully study it. Then he will write a book. If he already had such a trick, he will get bored and start looking for Gemini. Tryndets won’t get away from this anyway (Gemini will immediately screw it up), but it will become more fun.

- FISH. Unlike Cancer, Pisces cry quietly. That’s why they have an eternal problem, they decide it themselves, no one helps them a damn thing, and they don’t even wait.

(Source: inpearls.ru)

Thanks to the authors

The selection is posted for your reference.

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Comic horoscope in poetry and prose Aries

The main advantage of Aries can at the same time be considered its weakness - it is stubbornness, which can seriously ruin the life of both the Lamb himself and those around him. But don’t rush to get upset - the Tiger has already found a suitable solution to your problem, so in 2022 it’s better not to relax - your stubbornness will be constantly tested for strength.

Aries will have a big catch and will be happy and healthy. The tiger will help you to be bolder, more cheerful and lively. Aries are quick to keep things in order. It wouldn't hurt to exercise. In general, they will be in chocolate and will present them for an award.

Your smug expression on your face is unlikely to please the Tiger, therefore, your face needs to be made simpler. As for those around them, they need to stop discussing the fact that Aries always does everything badly. Representatives of this zodiac sign themselves understand their mistakes, but they will not forgive others for pointing them out. Aries loves Pisces and Pisces should definitely take advantage of this, but without a feeling of additional superiority.

Taurus (April 21 – May 21)

Comic horoscope Taurus 2022.

We hasten to disappoint everyone who believed that Aries are the most stubborn representatives of the cycle. Before us is one of the brightest heroes of next year - Taurus . If Taurus has got some idea into his head, it is easier for him not to talk himself out of it, but to simply succumb to temptation and test on his own skin whether the plan works or not. Therefore, in 2022, dear Taurus, get ready for constant ups and downs.

Comic horoscope in verses Taurus 2022

Taurus have one difference: They can drink to the point of indecency and yet not get drunk. Just keep your body healthy! Next year, of course, There will be holidays in the plans, At which there will be leisurely All the mischievous Taurus Will coo sweetly, Listen a lot and delve into it, For their own benefit, business, And a beautiful body So ​​that later the noses and drool of All envious people will be wiped or smeared out of spite O the nearest glass. They will begin to make decisions, change and plow so that in the main matter they do not fall into the dish with their nose! And to show your strength to your rivals and loved ones.

Comic horoscope in prose for Taurus for 2022

Stop collecting - humanity has passed this stage a long time ago. Now is the time to do good with your own hands, both literally and figuratively - take care of your loved ones and do something useful.

Astrologers' advice for 2022:

  • Avoid people with a hot temperament - close contact with them will lead to a real fire.
  • Watch your health - a strong zodiac sign, it does not protect against colds and all sorts of nasty viruses.
  • Continue to work hard - Taurus does this best, but even they sometimes refuse to work hard.

However, there is no need to despair - on the personal front, everything will be just fine for you. The secret is simple – it’s difficult to argue with Taurus in bed. Representatives of this sign are simply tireless in love pleasures, and therefore their partners simply do not have the strength left for betrayal and similar ideas.

Sometimes you have to give up your pride. What's the point of staying with your opinion in an empty apartment? If you continue to insist that you are right in everything, then soon your relatives will simply run away in all directions.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Comic horoscope Libra 2022.

Do you know who loves representatives of the Libra sign ? That's right - Libra themselves. Because this sign is able to find in itself such advantages that others have never dreamed of. By the way, most often Libra still turns out to be right, but still this does not always happen.

Comic horoscope in verses Libra 2022

Balance and measure Good and evil, sadness and joy Success, luck and luck Libra came to this Earth And then they fell under the distribution... The coming year is preparing a surprise For those people who are for peace with a wall, And for the scoundrels, sycophants - A pocket with a huge hole! It’s a sin for Libra to complain everywhere, It’s not the first time for them to solve problems How to influence the prices of the building? The price of cigarettes has gone up! How to manage to fit into a handful of coppers, of which there are three? Perhaps it’s worth working harder for the benefit of our dear Motherland? Solution: don’t waste any more energy, drown your sadness with wine, turn on the gramophones louder, and dance, and sing, and bang, Maybe they’ll give you a medal for the debt?

Comic horoscope in prose for Libra for 2022

Stop molding yourself into someone else's image. Perhaps you want to seem like an ideal person to others, but you can’t hide the truth from yourself - you have to admit that success is not yet visible in family life. And if you are looking to the left, then confess to your spouse... although, no, first talk about it with a psychologist, and then, perhaps, your life partner will not have to reveal such details.

Astrologers' advice for 2022:

  • Stop changing your mind and making a bunch of decisions, and then choosing the best from them - certainty will help you get rid of problems.
  • Surprise - those around you don’t have to do anything to you, and if they do, it’s not as much as it seems now, but much less.
  • Move forward to a bright future - more precisely, to independence from other people's opinions.

You might think that Libra is the most fair and balanced sign of the zodiac, but what can it be... in fact, they are fickle and narcissistic people. On the other hand, there is a lot to learn from them, because a good attitude towards the world around you begins with self-love.

Pisces (February 21 – March 20)

Comic horoscope Pisces 2022.

All Pisces are simply amazingly two-faced people - it is very difficult to catch them in a lie, although it is absolutely clear to others that these people often deceive. In such matters, you should not count on the support of the straightforward Tiger - this guy very quickly identifies traitors and scammers. So if you decide to go left, remember about retribution - it will not take long to arrive.

Comic horoscope in verses Pisces 2022

The most devoted and faithful Sign in the starry sky. Pisces is the very first, the most modest and serious. All his life he helped the sick, he often gave to the poor, sometimes he didn’t see the bread himself, he gave everything to the homeless. And the universe, seeing all the work, and the sweat, and the groan, decided to reward the Pisces with fins and a tail, so that they would often wag like that, help, rescue, through the seas and oceans, so that they would swim to the rescue. On this day, everyone will make a wish and fall asleep. Only it will come true for Pisces, In a month, a day and a year.

Comic horoscope in prose for Pisces for 2022

The year will be successful in all respects - you will be active, successful, rich. But as soon as you turn off the path along which honest people walk, the Tiger will immediately detect your inclinations towards scammers and swindlers. So, even if you really want to lie, think a few times and change your mind.

Other tips for Pisces:

  • If you want to hurt a loved one, drive him away, because with all the love you may be reciprocated in kind.
  • You should not suffer from remorse - if you still made a mistake, try to correct it, and not grieve in vain.
  • Try not to overact when you're with friends - sometimes your artistry can come across as unhealthy or even annoying.

Pisces can simply masterfully create a non-existent image and, again, fool those around them. Such a seemingly innocent lie can cost you dearly - you want to get rid of the boring image, but it has already grown in tightly.

Gemini (April 21 – May 21)

Comic horoscope Gemini 2022.

for Geminis if we exclude one big problem - few people are able to satisfy them sexually. Maybe the fact is that two entities successfully coexist in the body of one person - say thank you to the stars, they were the ones who gave you this load. Now you have to urgently solve the problem, but at the same time remember about your health - please, do not rush into bed with someone you don’t trust.

Comic horoscope in verses Gemini 2022

Twins in winter and summer Will appear again before the light In indescribable beauty A glamorous guy will call you to a restaurant on a fricassee for dinner and declare that he likes you. He will invite you on a date. He will surprise you again - with lasagna! If you decide to stay with him in the future, by spring, by April, you won’t be able to squeeze your chest and butt into your pants and dress! The choice requires dexterity, pure reason and calculation, God, where is the preparation, it will tear the Gemini apart! He is used to making decisions on the fly, Making decisions on the shore, Because he is restless, Because I want to!

Comic horoscope in prose for Gemini for 2022

If you are a calm-looking zodiac sign, this does not mean that you are ready to endure humiliation in real life. Therefore, when a difficult situation arises, do not hesitate to fight back - sometimes your opponents really deserve it.

What else does the horoscope say:

  • If someone complains about your talkativeness, don’t pay attention, because there will definitely be a person who, on the contrary, will want to listen to other people’s conversations a lot and for a long time.
  • Try to find just one sexual partner, but one that can satisfy your needs.
  • Don’t be afraid of condemnation - believe me, those around you certainly sin no less than you.

Feeling tired? There is no need to philosophize and look for a way out - just relax. If you are hungry, eat. If you feel that the relationship has cooled down, break it off. 2022 is not meant for difficult decisions, it requires decisive action and a simple approach.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)

Comic horoscope Capricorn 2022.

Representatives of this sign spend their lives in constant doubt and tossing. Capricorns are torn between the desire to please everyone around them or to do something for themselves. In 2022, Tiger decided to do everything for you - he appointed this time to fulfill Capricorn's desires. Don’t say thank you – it’s better to try to behave well and not irritate your patron.

Comic horoscope in verses Capricorn 2022

“How the horns suit you,” my friends told me. Stop tormenting yourself with them. You need to leave the cut, cut it off, Don’t tear the strings of your soul, And deal with traitors more strictly in this life! Capricorns, undoubtedly, will soon be very lucky - They will feel love to the sky, It will be the other way around: Respect and honesty, faith, Nadenka, love, Because these people are worthy of everything! Fate will bring them good luck on a platter with a blue border, They will meet their little sister. How much happiness and fun there will be in the house until dawn, And then wine, hangover, Bright lights. A dashing fate will carry you through distant cities with your fellow countryman, reminding you of happy times!

Comic horoscope in prose for Capricorn for 2022

Work and home are your constant program. Where have the restaurants, cinemas and amusement parks gone? Here they are - very close. Try to notice them more often, and life will become much more attractive.

Some useful tips:

  • Stop working and wasting time solely on fulfilling work plans - all the most interesting things happen without you.
  • Avoid greed - once Capricorn feels greedy for money, he can no longer stop.
  • Think positively - of course, life doesn’t get more beautiful every year, but you don’t have to say it out loud.

Dear Capricorns, you have a lot of different worries, and it seems that there is absolutely no time for rest. But it’s not true - if you give up unnecessary fuss, time will appear. You will see - after rest you will become much calmer.

Virgo (August 24-September 22)

Comic horoscope Virgo 2022.

Virgos , be careful - there is a criminal living inside you. Although, if you think about it, everyone has enough criminal tendencies, so don’t rush to get upset - the stars just say that manic qualities and attachments are gradually growing in you. So here's the advice - take a walk and distract yourself from yourself, otherwise you can easily step on a crooked path.

Comic horoscope in verses Virgo 2022

How long can you fight with Virgo? You can’t change her. In the head of a beautiful fairy there is no beginning, no end. Logic in any format is always absent here, Does all the most complex things automatically. Next year, probably, Judging by the mischief of the years, Virgos should look back and remember their own mark. He will help change the trajectory of the path, If you don’t decide to get off at the equator. Well, if you continue to run forward in a hurry, without looking back and without a goal, without turning into a ford, you will get from life only a fig and a kick, a bunch of indecent words, garbage, a broom and a dustpan.

Comic horoscope in prose for Virgos for 2022

As soon as you feel that you are too carried away by yourself or someone else, urgently change your focus and start looking for new interests. Learn to love your loved ones - of course, it seems to you that you already know how to do this, but 2022 will show you a couple of new techniques that would be nice to master.

Other tips for Virgo:

  • Teaching is light, so occupy your mind instead of sitting and admiring your reflection in the mirror;
  • Look for people who think in the same direction as you, otherwise you risk quarreling with all your friends;
  • Stop feeling like a victim - you yourself are capable of offending someone.

By the way, the last point is not entirely a joke, because in fact, Virgo can really offend someone she loves. Perhaps, Virgo’s loved ones are offended even more often.

Cancer (June 22 – July 22)

Comic horoscope Cancer 2022.

It's time to seriously talk about the fact that Cancers simply need to work on themselves. It's time to take off your rose-colored glasses and get rid of snobbery! Stop hoping for the best - we are adults, and we understand that in fact there is no concept of “it can’t get any worse,” because things can simply get worse indefinitely.

Comic horoscope in verses Cancer 2022

Cancers need to learn to Move forward faster. Sometimes they don’t notice you, If Cancer takes off the handbrake and puts it in reverse... Without looking back, you have to scurry away Everyone from the past to the “now”, Because tomorrow is too late to start... The hour is lost! It will be difficult for Cancers to make choices and decisions in May, October and December, the rest of the time on their own with bulging eyes. You won’t believe yourself! When you start to think and do everything in defiance of fate, you just need to draw up a very bold plan, an agreement! And then bravely squirm along the dunes and sands. Try very, very hard to be here, and here, and there!

Comic horoscope in prose for Cancers for 2022

Don't imagine the worst, it could very well happen without your imagination. And if nothing happens, enjoy the moment and try not to spoil the mood of those around you. Another piece of advice is to reduce the level of disgust, it does not allow you to enjoy life.

Tips for 2022 from astrologers:

  • Show your claws - engage in battle with your enemies, because they believe that all you know how to do is hide in your holes.
  • Allow yourself a little more freedom in sex - stop tormented by your conscience if you were suddenly very frank or, God forbid, asked your partner for something specific.
  • It’s a shame to sit idle, but to work and demand decent pay for your work is just worthy and good.

The whole problem with Cancer is that he seems to want to bring justice, but he quickly becomes a coward and runs away. No, no, going backwards is no longer your friend - learn to solve your problems in a fair fight, and the Tiger will support such an initiative.

Aquarius (January 21 – February 20)

Comic horoscope Aquarius 2022.

Quite unexpectedly, Aquarians will discover a love of conversation and gossip. Not the best news, considering that idle gossip does not lead to any good. So if you catch yourself having unpleasant conversations, immediately draw conclusions and slow down - you don’t need to get used to such entertainment.

Comic horoscope in verses Aquarius 2022

Aquarius is a permanent sign. His future tomorrow Not a single ounce will change, Unless a telegram suddenly arrives from near California: Come. The inheritance awaits. Your uncle. Behemoth Cat. Then this right eccentric will fuss, sell the house, car, clips, and go to a meeting with a relative. Just. Arriving, he will see a ranch, a hundred head of cattle around, a will. In addition, Ten black servants. Our friend will be surprised, But having recovered, He will approach weighty matters wisely, He will increase them and then He will rest on his laurels. That's all. All the soup is with a cat!

Comic horoscope in prose for Aquarius for 2022

You will have new creative ideas that will seem crazy to others. But this is not a reason to refuse them! Who said that others are always right? You yourself must check how good your plans turned out to be - so start taking action and don’t listen to those who doubt their success.

What else do the stars portend:

  • Everyone around you will be crazy about you, but don’t let them completely lose their minds - it’s unlikely that moving around in a circle of crazy people will be fun and pleasant.
  • The main thing is, don’t be crazy yourself, because after the weekend the work week always begins, and a sober mind will definitely be needed.
  • Narcissism is the worst enemy of progress, so be humble.

Sometimes Aquarius wants to commit a crime. So small, so insignificant. But everything starts small! Therefore, do not deceive yourself - if you feel that you are a potential criminal, try to take action and give up all your sadistic fantasies.

Leo (July 23 – August 23)

Comic horoscope Leo 2022.

You feel like the king of beasts... no, the king of people. A true leader. Down with false modesty - you can deny it as much as you like, but in your soul you consider yourself worthy only of the best. This is the problem - Leo will suddenly have a sharp decrease in friends. And what is the reason, if not your arrogance?

Comic horoscope in verses Leo 2022

The strict and silent Leo will turn from a sedate male into a rogue, unless he decides to fall in love and sacrifice freedom for the sake of a catchphrase. You don’t always get attention, you can just keep it. Sometimes, like in a TV show, you need to play with the audience. As a result, you will be able to receive recognition, care, and debt forgiveness from the people. What else has accumulated there: Jealousy, anger, despair? Stop thinking, play on public aspirations! Next year, confidently cut your hair bald and regain your position AND a piece of house!

Comic horoscope in prose for Leo for 2022

It would seem that two cats should understand each other perfectly, but no - Leo and Tiger are constantly in conflict. Understand that this year is not yours and accept it. At the end of the day, Tiger is a good guy and won't fight you without a reason.

What to do to make the year pass without losses:

  • Try to disguise your pride - you won’t be able to get rid of it, but you can at least try to hide it.
  • Stop acting like a god in human form and start admitting your mistakes - sometimes this can be useful.
  • Difficulties will arise in your career, and you will have to solve them right now, so get ready and get ready for serious work.

Keep your secrets to yourself, even if you really want to share them. You don't have to bare your soul to strangers. You can object by saying that sometimes the soul itself opens up to sympathy, but the stars will answer that there are too many pretenders around. Don't trust everyone - be careful.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 22)

Comic horoscope Scorpio 2022.

You shouldn’t think that for Scorpio - yes, they constantly show him signs of attention and make various offers, but in reality these poisonous kids are terribly lonely. And why? Yes, because few people are able to endure the entire stream of self-flagellation and narcissism that Scorpios pour out on themselves and those around them. Would you say that these concepts are incompatible? Well, then you just need to get to know the Scorpio brethren better.

Comic horoscope in verses Scorpio 2022

Success, luck, joy awaits Scorpios in winter, If last January you didn’t do nasty things to people. Your assertive character Serves with your faith, But don’t forget yourself and deceive people! Otherwise, the stars from the sky will turn their backs on you and show you a couple of figs and another face as a farewell. It’s worth being a little kinder and more attentive to your surroundings... It’s nicer to say compliments. When you submit to the Will of fate and heaven, the Stars will turn back to you, plunging the forest into darkness.

Comic horoscope in prose for Scorpio for 2022

Stop believing in fairy tales - nothing good will come of it. The work doesn’t happen by itself—you have to move your limbs to get results. Also try to be less frank with others - your words may come back in a distorted form.

What the stars advise:

  • Step away from the mirror for at least fifteen minutes - it will definitely not show anything new, but you have already seen everything old.
  • Stop talking about your shortcomings - don’t force others to constantly compliment you.
  • If you decide to move towards a goal, this does not mean that those around you will take on this task together with you - you will have to work on your own.

In general, Scorpios are not bad guys, and when it comes to sex, they have almost no competitors here at all. But still, be careful with them - they always have a sting in stock at the end of their flexible tail.

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