How to bless the newlyweds before the wedding: who should bless, with what icon, what should be said when blessing the newlyweds, when and where to do it?

Who and how should bless the newlyweds before the wedding?

A wedding is a significant event for both the groom and the bride. After all, after this day they will forever be bound by marital ties. This day is also trembling and exciting for parents, since they are giving their “little blood” into “strange” hands and it is unknown how the relationship in the family will develop further. Therefore, at every wedding, parents say parting words for a new life to the young. This parting word is called a parental blessing.
Parents are the most precious people who gave life. They simply cannot wish anything bad for their child, and no matter how difficult it is, they choose the warmest, deepest and most tender words that come from the heart. Therefore, this rite is considered sacred, and during the blessing, icons with the faces of saints are used. From time immemorial there has been a tradition of blessing the bride and groom before the wedding by the latter's parents. But the couple receives a blessing from the groom’s parents after the painting or wedding.

Parting words from the bride's father and mother at the celebration itself

If all the previous speeches of the parents made before the wedding were relatively short, then after the marriage the parents can allow a few more words and wishes .

It is highly undesirable for parents at a wedding to read the text with the words of blessing “from a piece of paper” - it must be remembered.

From father

Dear daughter, dear son! We lived with (name of the bride's mother), my wife, for many happy years. There was harmony and harmony in our family. We raised a wonderful daughter who always tried to help us and pleased us with our successes. And now you, daughter, have become an adult and found a man who has become your husband. You will have a new family, a separate one. But know that your mom and I will always support you if you need help. At the same time, I am sure that (name of the groom), your husband, will be able to cope with any problems. He is a strong and worthy person. We are happy that now we also have a wonderful son. Children, be happy with each other, give love and joy, and give your mother and me grandchildren. May you live happily ever after!
Dear (names of the newlyweds), children! Today you begin building a beautiful structure - your family. My wife and I, having lived in harmony (the time that the bride's parents have been married) for years, know that it is not always easy. Therefore, it is a little sad that you, daughter, no longer fully belong to our family, that you need to go your own way. Whatever it is, I am sure that your husband will be able to support and understand you in everything. He's a good guy, we're glad we can call him our son. Build your life like a beautiful, bright and warm home, in which there is a place of love, joy and children, which is full of peace and tranquility. Having invested your soul in building your family, you will definitely be rewarded with happiness and prosperity. Joy and all the best to you!

From mother

My beloved daughter and (name of the groom), my new son! Don’t look that I’m crying - it’s out of joy for you, my dear children. Your family was born today. Let this day be just the first of an endless number of happy days warmed by your love. Live together, enjoy every minute, try never to leave each other for more than a few hours. Face all adversities together, then they will turn into nothing. And happiness divided by two will increase tenfold. And most importantly, love and honor each other!

When should we bless the young?

The couple receives an official blessing on their wedding day. How does this happen? The young man comes to pick up the bride and the first thing he does is buy her from his girlfriends and relatives. After the ransom is completed, when the groom has “proved” that he is ready to give everything for his beloved, the young woman is released to the groom and preparations begin for the Wedding Palace or church for the wedding. Before leaving, the future father-in-law and mother-in-law bless the newlyweds with the icon, wishing them happy and long years of married life.

As for the blessing from the groom's parents, they receive it after the painting or wedding, upon arrival home (in the modern interpretation, this is the restaurant where the banquet is held). They meet the newlyweds with icons and give parting words not only to their son, but also to their “acquired” daughter. Since the bride is part of this family, the groom's parents, with their blessing, recognize her as part of their family and commit to her as their child.

As the ancient belief says: “only after parental blessing can a strong, real and happy family be created.” After all, it is believed that the parent’s word is endowed with mysterious power and how it is pronounced will affect the future of the new family.

Why is parental blessing for marriage so important?

Orthodox teaching, dating back to the Old Testament, advises children to honor their parents. This commandment was given by the Lord to the prophet Moses on Mount Sinai:

“Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Ex. 2-:12).

After reading this commandment, we see that only a reverent attitude towards father and mother allows children to live a long and happy life. It’s not for nothing that old people say: “As a son treats his mother, so he will treat his wife.” Even before the wedding, it is advisable for every girl to find out how her future husband treats his family and whether he respects them.

In Orthodoxy, from time immemorial, it has been believed that the foundation of family happiness lies more in the relationship between children and parents than between spouses.

Modern children often do not listen to the advice of their mothers and fathers and want to live at their own discretion. They don't listen to adults' advice, so they make a lot of mistakes. No matter how much children want to go their own way, parents are always responsible for them.

Therefore, when releasing the young into an unknown life, they give their parents parting words. And the blessing of the father and mother is the most valuable inheritance that a child receives from his relatives.

Many young people get together and live without receiving the blessing of their parents. This is a great sin, which is why there are so many divorces.

Until quite recently, our ancestors did not begin any important business without parental blessing: before traveling to distant lands, before a military campaign, before a large contract or building a house.

Both parents gave the blessing, and if they died, then the grandmother, grandfather, godparents or older sister could give parting words. If there were no relatives, then they took the prayer from the priest.

But they never neglected this holy cause. One of the relatives took the holy image in his hands, then made the sign of the cross over his child, giving consent to a good deed.

Where are the young blessed?

It was already noted above that the bride and groom receive two blessings on their wedding day:

the first from the bride's parents before the trip to the registry office (church);
the second from the groom's parents after the ceremony.

Accordingly, the answer to the question of where the blessing ceremony should take place is simple. The newlyweds receive their first parting words in the bride's parents' house, and the newlyweds who have already taken place receive the second blessing in the house of the groom's parents. Since in the modern world they practically no longer “walk with the whole village” in a hut in the parental home, parting words from the father-in-law and mother-in-law are often received in a restaurant where a banquet has been ordered for the guests.

The ritual needs to be revived!

If the parents of the couple themselves received the blessing, it is a little easier for them. You won't have to think about the words for long. How to bless your son before the wedding? Yes, just pass on the parting words heard before your wedding, so to speak, “by inheritance”!

If the parents of the newlyweds did not receive blessings, this is not a problem. You just need to learn a prayer and come up with words of wishes for fidelity, tenderness, love, prosperity, prosperity, etc. In general, everything you need for a happy married life. By blessing their children sincerely and from the heart, parents will give them a feeling of support for many, many years.

Mother's parting words, by the way, bring a lot of softness and tenderness, generosity and the ability to forgive, receptivity and warmth into the relationship of young people, and rid the family of aggression and cruelty.

What icon do the bride's parents bless the newlyweds with?

It is customary that the parents of the young woman give their parting words while holding the icon of the Kazan Mother of God in their hands. In the Orthodox Church we especially honor this image, since the Mother of God was, and is still considered, the intercessor of the Slavic people. Such an icon is considered female, since the Mother of God is asked for the birth of a child, and they pray that she will protect the house from evil forces and misfortunes.

Interesting fact: At the instigation of Patriarch Kirill of Moscow, the holy image of the Kazan Mother of God was sent into space in 2011.

What icon do the groom's parents bless the newlyweds with?

As for the meeting of the newlyweds by the groom's parents, this happens with an icon of the Savior in their hands. In Orthodoxy, such an image is called the Savior Almighty; the icon depicts the Son of God, who holds the open Gospel in one hand, and with the other gives a blessing to everyone looking at him. They turn to this icon both in difficult times and in moments of joy, and also pray for the well-being of the family.

Traditionally in Rus', this icon was the first to be brought into the newlyweds’ house.

Today, it is allowed for the newlyweds to meet the parents of both the groom and the bride after the wedding ceremony. At such a meeting, two icons are held in their hands (the icon of the Kazan Mother of God is brought to the restaurant by the bride’s parents), but the ceremony of blessing is carried out by the groom’s parents in the face of the Savior.

Features of the blessing of the newlyweds

The ritual of blessing children on the day of marriage is quite ancient and has undergone many changes over the course of its existence.
Before the advent of registry offices, lovers only got married in the temple. Before the wedding, the groom bought the bride, and the couple asked for parental blessing. From the wedding, the newly-made spouses came to the groom's house, where they were to live. They were met by the parents of the newlyweds with a wedding loaf. They blessed the couple for a happy family life and led them to the set wedding table. The father had to lead the newly-made spouses around the table three times and seat them in a place of honor. Then guests were invited to the table, and the wedding celebration began.

Modern blessing

There is no consensus on how to escort a young couple to the registry office and then meet them. We will present to your attention the most popular options, and you will choose the one that will appeal to the heroes of the occasion and their relatives.

The first option provides that the parents of the newlywed bless him before he goes to ransom his chosen one. After the ransom is completed, the parents of the hero of the occasion give a blessing to their daughter in a separate room, and the father takes her out to her future husband. The parents greet the newly-made husband and wife near the entrance to the restaurant with icons, a loaf of bread, and sometimes wine or champagne.

The second option starts similarly. After the ransom, the bride’s mother blesses the young couple for marriage with the icon of the Mother of God. Near the restaurant, the newly-made spouses are met by their parents. The parents of the young husband bless the couple with an icon of the Savior and a loaf of bread, while the parents of the young wife stand nearby.

Popular blessing option

The third option is similar to the second, but with the difference that for the ransom ceremony, the mothers of the newlyweds buy their children a pair of icons as a gift, which they will use to bless them for marriage. Icons are necessarily covered with embroidered towels, through which they are picked up and given as a gift. Mothers buy towels for icons and a large towel.

After the ransom, a large towel is laid in front of the newlyweds, on which they kneel, and their mothers baptize them three times with icons, saying their blessing, and allow them to kiss the icons. Then they are placed on a table covered with a snow-white tablecloth near the loaf.

At the ceremony, the mother of the future wife holds in her hands an icon of the Mother of God, and the mother of the future husband holds an icon of the Savior. Before entering the banquet hall, the newly-made spouses are greeted by their parents. The newlywed's parents give their farewell speech while holding a wedding loaf and a tray with glasses filled with champagne. The young people treat each other to a loaf of bread, take a sip of champagne, and pour the rest over their backs and break the glasses for good luck.

According to ancient custom, during the blessing with icons, the newlyweds stood on their knees, and their parents baptized them three times over their heads with icons, and then allowed them to kiss them. In modern rites, newlyweds do not always kneel, but believers act according to existing rules. In the third option, near the restaurant, parents meet children without icons and therefore, the question of how to bless them correctly and where to place them at the banquet will no longer be necessary.

In prose

Mom's blessing: My beloved daughter! I want to say some final words of encouragement before you get married. I wish you to create a strong and friendly family, in which love, harmony, tenderness, kindness and mutual understanding always reign. Let cheerful children's laughter sound in your home to the delight of you and your husband and me and your dad.

If you encounter adversity along the route of your family boat, then become support and support for each other. I bless you for your marriage with ... - the name of the groom is indicated. Advice and love to you! Have a long and happy family life!

Dad's blessing: My dear daughter! You know how much your mother and I love you. We are very worried about you now and will always be. It’s hard for me to let you go to another home, but I believe in you and in your choice. Therefore, I will try to accept your future husband as my own son. Be his loving, kind and faithful wife.

Let love and mutual understanding always reign in your family. All the troubles of creating home comfort and a sincere atmosphere fall on your fragile shoulders. Be patient, caring, forgiving and supportive, remember that love can overcome all life’s adversities. I bless you for your marriage! Happiness and prosperity to your family!

In verse

A mother can bless her daughter with the following verse: Our dear daughter, dear little blood! Your road suddenly separated from your father’s house. You have to build a family life. Please accept parting words from us. Live with each other, appreciate, love, make peace, dare and give birth to children. Then preserve good happiness forever! Before God and godparents, we bless you for a happy marriage!

How to properly bless the groom's young parents?

There can be two scenarios for blessing newlyweds who have already taken place.

In the first version, only the parents of the young man greet the couple with the icon of the Savior.
In the second, the parents of both the bride and groom greet the newlyweds with two icons.

The images must be wearing towels, since it is not recommended to take them with bare hands. According to tradition, the image of the Savior is held by the groom's father. He speaks parting words first, then gives his mother his blessing. The newlyweds cross themselves with the icon three times, and the groom is allowed to kiss the image first, then the bride.

If both sets of parents are meeting, then the father of the groom and the mother of the bride can be placed in the center with icons. And on the sides, for example, the father of the bride with champagne and the mother of the groom with a loaf of bread. In this case, both pairs of parents can give a blessing to the new family in turn and bless them with two icons, baptizing the young three times and letting them kiss the icons in turn, starting with the groom. After the blessing ceremony, the newlyweds are served a loaf and salt, as well as glasses and champagne.

How to greet with a loaf of bread

Today, newlyweds with a loaf of bread are most often met where the wedding will take place. But according to Russian custom, the meeting of the newlyweds should take place in front of the entrance to the groom’s house. After all, a young wife is part of her husband’s family.

As a rule, people cannot assign roles, who will hold the loaf and who will hold the icon. There is no difference in this.

Here is an example of the distribution of roles at the entrance to the room where the celebration will take place:

The icon is with the groom's father, and the loaf is with the bride's mother. Other parents are standing nearby.
Mothers hold icons, and fathers hold a loaf of bread and champagne.
In the hands of one of the mothers is an icon, in the other - a loaf. Fathers are nearby.

How should the bride's young parents be blessed?

The first blessing, held before going to the registry office or church, is held at the bride's home, after the groom has passed all the tests. It can be carried out in different ways.

If you follow all the rules and traditions, then only the bride and groom, parents and godparents are present at the blessing.
Modern rules are not so “strict”, so everyone participating in the ransom and guests are invited to the blessing ceremony.

The blessing itself goes as follows. The girl’s father gives the mother an icon of the Mother of God, the mother takes it with a towel and gives a parting speech to her daughter and son-in-law, after which the father speaks. At the end of the speech, the girl’s mother baptizes her daughter with the icon three times, then her son-in-law three times. In conclusion, the two young people are baptized with the icon three times, thereby the mother-in-law recognizes that they are a couple. Next, he gives the icon a kiss, first to his daughter, then to his son-in-law. Young people must cross themselves before leaning against the image.

What did the blessing of parents mean in ancient times?

A long time ago in Rus', weddings were not played without parental blessing, much less got married in a church.

This indicates recognition of the wisdom of the older generation: parents have lived many years, have known life from all sides and can make the right decisions. If they saw that the chosen one was not a match for their child, then they did not give the parental blessing for the marriage. And, perhaps, with such a wise decision they saved their child from an unhappy fate. When the parents liked the choice of the child, they blessed the young couple for a long and joyful life together.

Children, in turn, had to come to terms with the decision of their mother and father, which spoke of respect for elders. If young people nevertheless decided to get married without the approval of their parents, then they said about such a marriage that it would not be strong and durable, the family would collapse; Particularly strict ancestors could disown their disobedient children.

Words of blessing from mother to daughter before wedding: text

Dear daughter! I am so glad to see your sparkling eyes, full of love and happiness, your sincere smile and inexhaustible energy - this is the greatest happiness for a mother! Today is a new, happy stage in your life, and I really want this happiness to last for many years. Listen to my parting words - take care of your husband, be loving and gentle, fill your life together with ease and joy, be a supporter for your spouse in difficult moments, be wise and understanding. May your future spouse make you the happiest woman in the world, may you know what it is like to be a beloved wife, dear mother, happy grandmother. Preserve your love, your sincere and pure relationship, increase your happiness, because so many joyful and bright days await you together! I bless you, my dear!

Words of blessing from the mother of the bride to the newlyweds at the wedding: text

Dear and beloved newlyweds! I will say without hiding that today is a very exciting day for me. I give my dear girl into the loving hands of her husband and now my son! I give it with a light heart, with confidence that you will take care of each other, preserve your sincere feelings, protect your family from evil eyes. I wish you to be each other’s support, an oasis in the desert, a source of vital energy and love. Be happy!

What words should parents find to bless the newlyweds?

about tradition, the groom’s mother meets the newlyweds on the threshold of the restaurant with a loaf on a towel, the rest of the parents are nearby, the bride’s mother or father can hold glasses with a drink (champagne or just clean water) on a tray.

Words from the groom's mother when the newlyweds meet

For mother of the bride

Our dear children! At this exciting hour, we sincerely congratulate you on this wonderful holiday! As we guide you into family life, we wish you to always love each other, preserve love, and strengthen love. Our dear daughter, protect your family hearth like the apple of your eye, let there be comfort and order in your home, let the pies smell delicious in your kitchen, be a true friend and life partner to your spouse! Our dear son-in-law (son), be a real master in your home, take care of the well-being of your family, be a good father to your children, respect and honor your wife! Happiness and love to you, dear children!
I want to congratulate you on your marriage. Keep the warmth you have acquired. And make every effort possible, So as not to waste everything you found. Live peacefully, amicably, fairly, so that trouble cannot sneak up on you. May life be fun and beautiful. Never part, children.

I want to throw flowers at your feet, so that the road is covered with them. To make your innermost dreams come true, you ask God for blessings. I will shower congratulations on the family, which is just over an hour old. I will sprinkle you with holy water, I will bless you, and so that there is a reserve. I hasten to congratulate you with all my heart, After all, the marriage has been completed. All congratulations in the world are good, I give them to you with all my efforts.

The young people break off a piece, dip this piece in salt, feed each other, wash it down with a drink and break glasses for good luck, throwing them at the same time with their right hand over their left shoulder. The guests form a living corridor through which the newlyweds pass to their places of honor.

If you choose poems, try to memorize them. Reading from a sheet when nervous means stuttering and stuttering, fixing your gaze on the piece of paper, and at this moment it is important to look at the young people, and the speech should be gentle and friendly.

The tradition of greeting newlyweds with bread and salt came to us from ancient times, when salt was still a sign of wealth, and different bread was baked in each house: some sieve, some zhiznaya. The mother-in-law, meeting her daughter-in-law on the threshold of the house, offered her to try THAT BREAD that she would now have to eat all her life in her husband’s family. And if she presented the most precious things - bread and salt, which used to be worth its weight in gold, then she gave the go-ahead for the marriage!

Video: How to bless the young?

Well, to summarize, we note that after the wedding, the icons remain in the family of the newlyweds. They become a family heirloom, which is designed to protect and protect this family from adversity, disease and sadness. Believers place images in the corner or above the bed. Those who are not so devout keep the icons in a certain place without displaying them. According to tradition, these icons are inherited by children at their wedding.

Here is a short excursion into the traditions and rituals of blessing young parents; perhaps you will be interested in reading about this:

“Fashionable wedding styles. Organizing a wedding with your own hands";
“The best wedding scenarios. How to spend the second wedding day?
"Wedding signs and superstitions for the bride and groom."

A few more nuances

We should also not forget about some serious points. It is necessary to give parting words to your son before the wedding not just with icons in your hands. They must be held with towels, just like a loaf.

After the words of blessing have been spoken, the newlyweds must be crossed with icons and given a kiss. The sign of the cross is performed from top to bottom and from left to right - this is how it is according to church canons. You need to mentally “replay this action in your head” in advance so as not to get confused at the most crucial moment.