No more “love ships” from registry office workers - couples are increasingly choosing the touching Western tradition of making vows to each other on their own. Agree, you know each other better than anyone else and can choose the right words. Wedding vows don't have to be tearful like in Hollywood movies. Shall we add a little humor? 
YesYes has collected important tips for you on how to write funny wedding vows and where to get ideas. And at the end you will find funny examples of wedding vows for inspiration.
What are the types of vows at a wedding?
The newlyweds' vows, which they exchange at the wedding, are conventionally divided into several types. Solemn vows are given during the wedding in the registry office, religious vows are taken in the church in front of the priest. Standard assurances are exchanged in a classical ceremony. And during the banquet, funny sayings will create a joyful mood.
The vow can be written in both prose and poetry. Rhyming lines will impress guests, and the text will be easier to remember. Promises are also made in song form, if vocal abilities allow.
Both the solemn and comic text consists of 3 parts. First comes a declaration of love and a statement of desire to enter into legal marriage. Then - a description of feelings for your partner. And finally, commitments are made to your life partner. These include standard assurances to be together through thick and thin, and comic promises to allow the husband to watch football with friends or to let his wife go shopping with her friends.
Even the funny wedding vows of the bride and groom speak of mutual love and the desire to create a family home. The distribution of responsibilities for taking out the trash or washing the dishes, expressed in a funny way, indicates the intention of the young people to walk the path of life together.
Congratulations on your wedding in your own words
Congratulations! Today two destinies merged into one. May your journey together be happy and long, may it be filled only with pleasant and joyful moments! Happiness and love to you!
Congratulations on your wedding day, today is the most solemn day and the most unforgettable night in your life, because during this night you need to have time to count the money, unpack all the gifts, and then, as it turns out...
Congratulations on your wedding day! I wish to use rolling pins and frying pans only for their intended purpose. I wish you happiness and love for many, many years to come!
Congratulations and wish you such amazing love that it understands women's logic, forgives men's stupidities and delights with children's pranks!
Today you open the door to a new life, where everything will be multiplied by two - happiness and joy, responsibility and care. Now you will build your life together, so let it consist only of pleasant moments and joyful events!
A girl getting married experiences both joy and excitement. Congratulate her so that all worries are dispelled: give a wedding speech in your own words, kind and sincere.
A woman in a family must be wise in order to make the right decisions about raising children and running a household. Must be gentle and affectionate in order to warm and take care of all family members. And she must be beautiful in order to always please her husband and inspire him. I wish you to have all these qualities and only improve them every year.
Dear bride, today you have become the legal wife of this wonderful man. And being a good wife is not easy work. But I wish you to cope with all the tasks that lie ahead of you with dignity and playful ease. Be loved, beautiful and unique.
Since ancient times, a woman has been the keeper of the family hearth.
But how often do we think about how important this is? We do not attach importance to the fact that we wear clean clothes, eat tasty and healthy food, come to a cozy home, but a woman spends a lot of effort on this. And if she stopped doing this, the man would become extremely uncomfortable
So, dear bride, let your husband appreciate your every action and thank you for having you.
A man, like a locomotive, must drive and manage the composition of the family. I wish you the strength to do it with dignity, the courage to overcome all the obstacles that arise on your way, covering your beloved with your wide chest. May your marriage be successful and we will have a golden wedding.
What makes a real man? Strength of spirit, loyalty, honesty, sense of humor and intelligence. But the main decoration of a man is his woman. I wish that your young wife surrounds you with care and love and spoils you with pleasant surprises. But for this you must become a reliable defender of your family, its supporting foundation. And then your union will be harmonious and beautiful.
Let's wish our groom that there will always be a fire in his eyes, so that family life will become for him a start to new achievements and victories. So that the desire to hug and kiss your young wife does not disappear. So that soon he would hear a thin voice and the word “Dad”. And so that he definitely appreciates all this.
Love is that irredeemable coin that now makes up your living wage! I want to wish you not only prosperity, but also abundance; not only joy, but also great happiness!
Ignorant people say that years of family life eventually turn love into a habit. I wish you that the love that united you today will grow stronger over the years, that you will not lose tenderness and warmth, all the touchingness of your feelings, that you will learn to endure, forgive, and turn minor troubles and quarrels into a joke.
Dear newlyweds! Today you have begun building your joint ship - your family. We wish you that your family ship will be strong and reliable, that it will not break down due to everyday life and troubles, that it will not be afraid of any storms! May the bright sun shine on you along the way and may the blue sky smile on you, and may your “voyage” together last for many, many years!
Congratulations on the most important step in your life! We would like to wish you that you take all further steps in life together, firmly and in step! And even if one of you stumbles, the other will definitely support him!
An original wedding congratulation is a way to express respect for the couple and your personal affection for the newlyweds. Perhaps this is the best thing that can be said on this day, when so many people have already congratulated the bride and groom. Beautiful, original congratulations on your wedding day can touch even the most delicate strings of the soul and truly make guests laugh.
Tips for newlyweds on writing their vows
Saying the vows is an important part of the ceremony. Preparations begin long before the banquet. The text of a funny wedding vow is written in advance and beautifully designed. This approach is convenient, since newlyweds can get confused and forget the words out of excitement. Promises written on paper can be solemnly read out to guests, and the document can be kept as a souvenir of one of the happiest moments of life.
When writing a text, the bride is advised to remember how she met her loved one, about emotions during the first dates, and think about what has changed in life after the appearance of the groom.
The future spouse is advised to list the qualities of the girl he loves, but not to compare the bride with other women. Words must be sincere and understandable.
The newlyweds make promises taking into account the characteristics and comments of the other half. You can write the vow yourself, use a traditional wedding script, or add your own wishes to the finished version.
The text should be as short as possible - too verbose promises will tire guests and distract attention from the meaning of what was said.
Groom's words
The bride's friends can add an interesting task to the ransom itself. The last stage can be a wonderful oath that the young man pronounces. The only condition is to make a speech near the bride's door. A girl must hear everything her lover says. Otherwise, the oath completely loses its meaning.
This is interesting: An unusual and short bride ransom scenario
When redeeming, you should not talk for too long, since this is the part of the event that is characterized by the dynamic course of the event. Therefore, it will be enough to limit yourself to a few sentences that will briefly and succinctly contain the whole meaning.
However, speech should not be dry; color it with epithets, metaphors and other figurative and expressive means of language.
- I swear I will always love my wife. And (if necessary) carried in your arms. I will be a reliable and strong shoulder, I will become a good girl for her. I will be a strong, brave, diligent husband. And then she will say that she doesn’t need another.
- I will always be a faithful spouse, And in general, it doesn’t matter where. I will become the best husband, Both on land and on water. I will quickly solve my wife’s problems so that she can multiply them all.
- I swear I will become the most reliable husband, I will always cherish my wife. She will be more than a friend to me. Will forever keep my peace.
Traditional vows of the bride and groom
A traditional vow is suitable for a classic wedding ceremony. The text is laconic, restrained, but romantic. Mutual promises to love each other compare favorably with a dry “yes” uttered in the registry office.
The vow can be structured in the form of a dialogue. First, the newlyweds say the words in turn, and pronounce the final phrase together.
Touching words would not be entirely appropriate at an official event at the Wedding Palace. It looks more harmonious when the newlyweds perform the first dance of the bride and groom, after the ceremony of lighting the fireplace or before cutting the wedding cake.
How to Make Promise Cards for the Groom
If you don’t want to make vows, you can use promise cards. This is an easier method to implement, because all the words are already written and accompanied by visual design. But creating them will require spending time and resources.
What words to choose for the cards:
In addition to promises, an important element is what design is chosen. The cards can depict what they swear by - if it is material.
If the vow relates to something spiritual, then an impersonal drawing should be placed, because on such cards there should not be images of other people, especially women.
Comic vows at a wedding
Funny vows are popular at weddings. Wishes seasoned with a good dose of humor will set your friends and family in the mood for fun. The phrase “I promise that I will look at you first, and only then hockey” will make guests laugh. The bride's comic oath at the wedding should contain a response to the groom's words.
When writing promises, it is recommended to pay attention to poems. Ideas for the text and presentation style can be gleaned from videos of funny vows at a wedding. They will help you understand how to prepare your own speech and avoid standard mistakes.
The text of a funny wedding vow can be written in prose.
Vows are also given in poetic form.
Groom:
Bride:
Answers on questions
Another option is when the bride price leaders demand from the groom only answers to the questions posed. Questions or obligations are read out, and the groom answers - I will or will not, ready - not ready. This could be a very cool development. For example, is the newlywed ready to let his future wife go on vacation to a resort, or will he prepare breakfast himself every Sunday? What will he answer?
If the newlywed has not prepared the text of the oath in advance or may be confused in front of the public in answering unexpected questions, you can organize the vows in the form of cards that the groom will simply read out. By the way, such a composition can be played out very creatively by printing cards with obligations in advance, decorating them with plot pictures and tying them with a satin ribbon , thus putting them together.
The bride listens to the groom's promises
On each one you can leave a free field: “Completed”, where the wife will subsequently insert a “tick”. The following actions are included here - “Coffee in bed”, “Flowers”, “Kiss before leaving for work”, “Just wash the dishes”, “Go to the cinema”, or maybe even more specific actions, such as “Walking the dog” , “Sweeping”, etc.
By the way, it is precisely such card details that can also serve as ransom funds for bride ransom, when the groom pays for unfulfilled tasks not only with money, sweets or alcohol, but also with written promises. Just don’t overdo it, so as not to be considered stingy.
Vows to young parents
At the wedding ceremony, the newlyweds make vows to their parents.
The text of the vows is often kept in a cheerful form, written in prose or poetry. The bride promises her mother-in-law and father-in-law to take care of their son and support him in difficult times. The groom's funny wedding vow may contain words of gratitude to his mother-in-law and father-in-law for their daughter.
Groom's oath:
Bride's wedding vow:
The best wedding jokes ever - Unijokes.com
Little Johnny was sitting in class solving math problems when his teacher chose him to answer the question: “Johnny, if five birds were sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?” “No,” answered Johnny, “because the others will fly away.” “Well, the answer is four,” said the teacher, “but I like the way you think.” Little Johnny says, “I have a question for you. If there were three women in a store eating ice cream cones, one licking the cone, one biting the cone, and one sucking the cone, which one is married? “Well,” the teacher said nervously, “I think the one who sucks the cone.” “No,” said Little Johnny, “with a wedding ring on your finger, but I like the way you think.” Vote: Share this joke Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings. In another step towards lowering the price, three sisters decided to honeymoon at home. Later that night, their mother couldn't sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea. On the way, she tiptoed to her eldest daughter's bedroom and heard her scream. The mother thought: “This is normal, especially on the wedding night.” She slipped into her second eldest daughter's room and heard her laugh. “That’s okay too,” she said, smiling to herself. Finally, she slipped into her youngest daughter's room, where she didn't hear a peep, but didn't think anything of it. The next morning in the kitchen, after the husbands had left, the woman asked her eldest daughter about the noises from the night before. “Well, Mom,” she replied, “you always said that if it hurts, I should scream.” “You’re absolutely right, honey,” her mother assured her, turning to her middle daughter. “Why were you laughing?” she asked. “You always said that if it tickled, I could laugh,” she replied. "It's true, honey." The mother smiled, remembering the newlywed days. “Now it’s your turn, baby,” she said to her youngest daughter. “Why was your room so quiet last night?” “Mom, don’t you remember? You always told me to never talk with your mouth full. Vote: Share a joke A typical macho man married a typical beautiful lady and after the wedding he established the following rules: “I will be home when I want, if I want and at the time I want, and I don’t expect any trouble from you. I expect great food on the table.” dinner, unless I tell you I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, drinking and playing cards whenever I want with my old buddies, and don't worry about it. These are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said: “No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex every night at seven o'clock...whether you're here or not." Vote: Share a joke.
Funny vows to friends
Funny and funny vows of the bride and groom at a wedding are especially appropriate when communicating with friends. This category of guests is the busiest.
Young people willingly participate in practical jokes, come up with non-standard congratulations and are always ready to support any fun endeavors and jokes.
Comic oath of the groom
Comic bride's vow
Groom to bridesmaids
Bride to groom's friends
Modern wedding and customs
Perhaps the echoes of these ancient foundations significantly influenced the numerous scenarios of wedding celebrations, which can be found in huge quantities on the Internet. Such vows and dialogues are especially common in wedding plots based on folklore.
With all the variety of ready-made plots and formats for holding a wedding celebration on networks, choosing such a solution may have several negative qualities. When adapting a ready-made script for a particular ceremony, congratulations, poems, jokes and vows prepared specifically for these newlyweds may simply not fit into the main concept. In addition, a similar celebration can be held at acquaintances, at the weddings of friends of the groom or bridesmaids. In order to make it easier to create the outline for a beautiful and serious oath, the one who has taken on the duties of a screenwriter should know a few simple rules.
Then everything will be written and spoken in the best possible way. First of all, in a state institution - the registry office, as in a church, you need to pronounce exclusively solemn words and promises that fit into canonical norms and formats. Here, almost none of the newlyweds have any difficulties. But taking an oath at the table at a wedding feast, when surrounded by relatives, friends and girlfriends, good colleagues and neighbors, is a matter that requires quite a lot of skill.
Original vows at original weddings
Today, newlyweds are moving away from traditional scenarios when organizing a celebration. Newlyweds increasingly want an unusual, creative wedding. The holiday is held in a fairy-tale or medieval style, ideas are drawn from popular films or television shows. The bride and groom strive to make the ceremony memorable, and the newlyweds' vow at the wedding is not just funny, but also unusual.
The newlyweds will remember a wedding in the style of the nineteenth century all their lives. A mansion, crystal chandeliers, gilding, ladies in magnificent dresses and gentlemen in tuxedos... In such an atmosphere, the vows exchanged by the bride and groom will sound especially touching.
Groom:
Bride:
A biker wedding is very different from a romantic adventure. The mere arrival at the registry office of a column of motorcycles led by young people who are racing on a roaring steel horse already makes such a celebration unforgettable. The holiday scenario involves the most daring and unconventional decisions.
The newlyweds' oath excludes tender and touching words. The catalog of spare parts for the legendary Harley acts as a Bible.
Fans of the popular series hold weddings in the style of “Game of Thrones.”
Guests are dressed in special costumes. And for the celebration they choose thematic attributes: tiaras, fur capes, torches, scrolls, cups of wine. The oath of the representatives of the Stately Houses will fit perfectly into the script of the wedding show.
A fresh solution would be to choose a wedding with a marine theme. The celebration can be held on the shore of a pond or near the pool.
The combination of blue and white, lifebuoys and sails will create the atmosphere of a romantic adventure. The surroundings will be complemented by the oath of the sailor and the admiral.
Groom's oath:
Bride's vow:
Where and how can on-site registration take place?
Before proceeding with the actual organization of painting, you should take into account all its features. The bride and groom must be prepared in advance and understand all the available advantages and disadvantages. The ceremony differs from the standard one; accordingly, it also has slightly different features, which, in principle, not everyone may like.
- The price for such an event increases significantly. It’s one thing that you pay a fixed price to government agencies, which, in turn, is divided into utility costs and wages. But it’s completely different if you’re organizing an event outdoors. In this case, you yourself will need to pay for a fairly large number of people and services. So, for example, it is worth thinking not only about the registrar, but also about the furniture on which guests will sit, arches and decorative design. Also remember about the musical accompaniment. All this can cost a decent amount. If you are ready to spend money, then feel free to choose such a non-trivial approach.
- It is impossible to prepare an outdoor ceremony in one month. It requires serious preparation, which includes not only searching for professionals, but also finding places. Often this is the hardest moment to decide on, since good places are filled six months in advance, or even earlier.
- If you decide to have an outdoor ceremony, be sure to use your imagination. You are free to do whatever you want. The registry office implies an official and strict part, but here no one forbids you to go out to the guests on horseback or skipping. You can choose the method that you like best.
- All guests sit in strictly designated places. They are also much more comfortable than being jostled around in a stuffy registry office. Everyone present can see what is happening on the podium, and can hear everything.
If you have very little time to prepare, be sure to contact the wedding coordinator. This is a professional who helps organize celebrations, making them the most planned, competent and beautiful.
The very first and most serious step in organizing a marriage ceremony is finding a place. It must be approached with all responsibility, because you are not organizing your own wedding in the registry office, since you are not satisfied with the decorations and the place itself.
The most popular options are:
- restaurants;
- forests;
- recreation centers;
- yacht clubs;
- sea coasts;
- a park.
First of all, you will have to proceed from material capabilities. But even in this it is necessary to think through everything in detail. For example, the cheapest option would be a forest where you don’t have to pay rent. But in this case, it’s worth finding the ideal place and making sure that every guest is comfortable.
In addition, transport is needed to bring everyone in and out. As a result, an affordable and low price hides so many worries and hassles that it is better to overpay and go to a well-equipped recreation center.
In summary, we can say that choosing a place should be approached responsibly, based not only on one’s own desires, but also on the capabilities and convenience of both guests and newlyweds. It is unlikely that guests will want to make their way to your celebration in beautiful outfits through the thicket of the forest. Therefore, everything must be clearly thought out and planned in advance.
If the celebration does not take place in the morning, then you should be concerned about the availability of lighting fixtures. Guests should not sit in darkness or twilight.
In the evenings in autumn, blankets are left on each guest’s chair in case it gets colder. Such a small sign of attention will leave pleasant impressions and emotions in the hearts of your guests.
Instructions for the young in the old Russian style
From this day (day, month, year of wedding) I command the young man (name of the groom) and the beautiful maiden (name of the bride) to be considered husband and wife, who have mutually agreed to exchange their free and free life for a married one, and therefore they should only be accepted together, and not separately take seriously, for they are one indivisible and whole.
- The spouse should be the head of the family, earn a living, and not look at other beauties.
- Let the wife not fear her husband, but love him, honor and respect him as a hero; does not tease, does not anger, feeds well, but in moderation, so that he does not become passive in business and does not become obese.
- May you live a joyful and happy life. Give birth to a heroic son and a beautiful daughter. Keep the door to the hut open for the sake of real and cheerful guests. The soul lives not with Persian carpets, but with overseas crystals, but with true friends. Don’t forget your father and mother, share your sorrows and joys with them, use your parents’ wise advice.
- Do all household chores together, keep the room clean, start family rituals, sing funny songs, drink fruit and spring water.
This order must be preserved and protected, for it contains unprecedented power. And if something bad happens between you, take out this order, sit side by side, read it thoughtfully and the bitter quarrel will be settled, you will have peace and harmony, joy and happiness in your home. Fulfill the order and teach your children strictly according to it.
It must be remembered that the main idea of the instructions at the wedding is to convey an intelligent thought in the simplest speeches. Every sentence must have a deep meaning. And the words spoken to the groom should help him understand in which direction to build his married life.
What to get inspired by?
Someone certainly throws things around, leaves wet towels on the bathroom floor, or sabotages washing dishes. You shouldn’t mention moments that will show your other half not in the best light - do you remember that relatives and friends will hear all this, and then your children will watch the video from the wedding?
So choose your incriminating evidence wisely and diplomatically
