SKETCH FOR ANNIVERSARY - VISIT OF PRECINCT GOLPUPENKO FOR ANNIVERSARY
District police officer Golopupenko’s anniversary visit
Characters:
- District captain Golopupenko is a man in a police uniform with a folder.
- Witnesses - 2 people from the guests.
At the height of the holiday, a local police officer appears.
District:
I wish you good health! I will ask everyone to remain in their sitting and standing places! Allow me to introduce myself: Captain Golopupenko, your District Officer!
Yeah, we have a drink and a snack. Where is our citizen here... (surname of the hero of the day)? You? An anonymous complaint has been received against you. Of course, we don’t consider anonymous letters, but the facts presented in it interested me very much, that’s why I’m here. Witnesses, please enter!
(Witnesses enter)
So, citizen...(last name), do you have any idea why we are here? No, not because today is your birthday... Although, if you look at it more broadly, so to speak, then your birthday is also evidence against you. I'll explain!
The letter states that you have an unregistered moonshine, dare I say it, still. Don't have it? Why are there so many bottles on the table? Did you buy it at the store? Where do you get so much money for the store? Everything is clear to me: drive it yourself! Ay-yay, citizen...(last name)! Drive without any permission from the authorities! Illegal business activity! What about the license? What about taxes? And finally the tasting?
What if you have low-quality sugar there, contaminated with bird flu? It's terrible what can happen! What about yeast? What if their expiration date has expired, and you still have them? What? You say your vodka is good? Yes? Witnesses, please begin the identification procedure. Pour to the Witnesses.
(The witnesses are poured, then the district police officer is offered to pour it)
District Officer: I can’t. I'm on duty.
(The witnesses are about to have a drink, but the district police officer stops them)
Wait! How am I going to fill out a protocol about something that I haven’t checked myself? (Sighs) Eh, I’ll have to take the whole burden of identification upon myself... Pour it up!
(Clink glasses with the Witnesses, everyone drinks)
Wow, nice dog! That is... I wanted to say: it’s too strong, you can’t drink too much... (Pauses) But I want to! Witnesses, how are you? Everything is fine? (wagging tongue) Well, thank God! So you say, how are you... (name of the hero of the day)? Is it your birthday today? Oh, what a nice moonshine still you have, (name of the hero of the day!)
It’s just a shame to take it away... I know how pitiful I really am! And kindly... kindly... unforgiving, hiccup.
I will do evil and forget! That's what I am!
Oh, I’m feeling something... Pour me another glass... To make it easier to draw up the protocol... Well, your health! Now you can have a snack. Do you have anything to snack on? Yes, I myself know that there is, you know how we found the way to you? By the smell! You, (name of the hero of the day), work at a meat processing plant?
No? Can't be! It’s all written in my anonymous message! How many liters of moonshine... How many meters of sausage... Which sausage do you prefer?
(The hero of the day answers)
What are you saying? This is my favorite variety! I just haven’t tried it for a long time... My job is crap, you run around like a fool all day, neither have a snack nor a drink... that is, I wanted to say: neither sit down nor rest... Yes, the salary is small, like this glass! By the way, why is it empty?
Witnesses, why were you called here? Pour it up! So, what do we write down in the protocol?
Citizen... (last name) has had a moonshine still since 20..., as a result of which she has distilled... liters of moonshine, consumed... liters, including in the form of medicine... liters, with a surplus... liters, in honor of Police Day... liters, per road... liters.
And also a citizen (surname) since the age of 19... brought into the house... kg (beef, pork, lamb, horse meat, underline as appropriate), including... meters of selected sausage products in the form of sausages, sausages, bacon (underline as appropriate).
As a result of the above actions, over... years,... people were given water,... people were fed.
During the inspection it was established:
1. Citizen... (surname) lives happily, having an unregistered moonshine still, which is what she wishes for everyone.
Explanatory work was carried out with her and a promise was made not to do this again. She said: “I won’t do this anymore, I’ll do it somehow differently!”
2. Citizen... (surname) lives well, having at the moment: meat in the refrigerator... kg, cutlets on the table... kg, salads and marinades... kg, side dishes... kg, other... kg 200 g.
Z. Based on the above, district police officer Golopupenko, in the presence of attesting witnesses, decided to oblige the citizen... (last name):
a) to daily eating of meat products with obligatory treats for household members and everyone who came to visit, including district police officer Golopupenko, since he is also a person;
b) brew moonshine only for internal consumption, including all household members and all those who drop by for a visit, including the local police officer Golopupenko, since who among us is without sin?
Number, signatures of witnesses.
Well, (name of the hero of the day), the formalities are over! Now you can continue, pour it! Happy anniversary to you, (name of the hero of the day)!
A short skit for young traffic police inspectors
This skit can be shown at the 2022 Police Day and can be performed by both adults, if it is shown at a serious event, and children, if the holiday program is organized in a school institution.
This funny scene involves 2 girls, one is driving, the other is stopping. - Hello! - Hello! - Where did you get the car? - Where did you get it? where did you get it? You won't get it there! At my father's. - Yah! - Don't bother! - So what, did you allow it? - Who asked him? Sit down, I'll give you a ride. (Sits down) DO NOT slam the door! This is not your refrigerator! Give me the money! For gasoline. (Gives money) - Not enough. — And I’m actually on Prospect. - But my cash register doesn’t return the money! So, let's go if you want the money not to disappear. — Why did you come to Prospect? - Where should I go, so that my father doesn’t see that I’m driving his Ford car. - What kind of light is blinking? Are you running out of gasoline? - Where? - She's on the steering wheel. - Do I know? It's apparently light music. If you want to know, I can still include them! - And where? - Heh! Stick your nose out the window, see? Left-right, left-right. Chic! - Look who’s twisting a pretzel behind him with a scooter? — I was thinking of overtaking! Now get out! Let him try to guess which way we will turn, ha ha! - Look, I still overtook him! Doesn't know the rules! - Oh! This is Natalya Vladimirovna! Rushing to class! - But he doesn’t know the rules. No helmet! - Yesterday she gave me a bad grade! So that her tires go flat! - And let the gas run out! Right on the road! For my unit! “We need to report her to the police for driving without a helmet.” Maybe he’ll take a walk in life safety at least once! - Phew, people also walk along this road!! - And they’re not too lazy to walk all the way to Prospect? - He's without a bag! Some kind of athlete. Marathon runner. With some kind of striped stick. - Why is he waving it in front of his nose? - (according to the scenario of a funny scene on Police Day 2022 for traffic police inspectors, they stop near the inspector and, according to the plot, ask in a funny way.) - Uncle, what do you want? - Sergeant Petrenko! Your rights! - What rights do you have! Yesterday my father took away my license at the disco too. Just responsibilities! Like dishes, wash the floor, plant potatoes, and still have time to teach life safety. — Do you have a registration certificate? - Passport? My mother said that I wasn’t supposed to. - Whose car is it? - My. -Whose are you? - Parents! -Where is father? - In the city. -Where are you going? - I'm on Prospect! And I’m going to the Village! - And I’m with you! And you know where we’ll go now! - Where? — On Kudykina Mountain, there are tomatoes! In town. To your father. - Why? - Pass your license! Driver's license! - And I’ll rent it out for the company!
A funny skit on the occasion of Police Day for traffic police inspectors has ended.
Sketch for Police Day -2
10.11.2012 22:: 22321
Comments: 11 Latest: Larisa18 12/09/2021 05:54
Since today is Police Day, I would like to congratulate the good police officers on the holiday and post two sketches on this topic. In the future, I suggest that everyone, on the day of some upcoming holiday, write and post something related to this holiday.
INTERVIEWING WITNESSES.
Police station. Office of the chief of police. Table. There is a computer with an old monitor on the table. The captain is sitting at the table, looking at papers. The door opens and the lieutenant comes in.
LIEUTENANT: - Comrade captain! Here, in the latest case, two witnesses showed up.
CAPTAIN: - Okay, give me one at a time.
The lieutenant leads the witness into the office. The witness is dressed all in white, like in a hospital. The captain gets up from his seat.
CAPTAIN: - Lieutenant, sit down and write everything down.
CAPTAIN: - Well, witness, tell me what you saw?
The captain paces around the room, hands behind his back. The lieutenant at the desk is recording the witness's testimony.
WITNESS: - A grasshopper was sitting in the grass.
CAPTAIN: - Well!
WITNESS: - Green cucumber. Green cucumber. He was green.
LIEUTENANT: - Repeat again, I didn’t have time to write it down. What colour?
WITNESS: - Green.
CAPTAIN: - Well, so? What happened next?
WITNESS: - Imagine, imagine. He was green.
CAPTAIN: I already heard that.
LIEUTENANT: - And I put it in the protocol.
CAPTAIN: - Well, let's finally get to the point.
WITNESS: - A grasshopper was sitting in the grass.
CAPTAIN: - So what. What does it matter that the grasshopper was sitting in the grass?
WITNESS: - Green cucumber.
CAPTAIN: - Well, you got it, what does the cucumber have to do with it?
LIEUTENANT: - Comrade captain, maybe he means a thief in law named Cucumber.
CAPTAIN: - Listen, lieutenant, you are a genius. How could I not have guessed this before?
CAPTAIN: - Come on, witness, more details from here. Go ahead.
WITNESS: - A grasshopper was sitting in the grass.
CAPTAIN: - The bastard hid.
WITNESS: - Green cucumber.
LIEUTENANT: - How green is he, is he already gray?
CAPTAIN: Did he have a weapon?
WITNESS: - Imagine, imagine...
CAPTAIN: - I knew that he had a weapon with him.
WITNESS: - Just imagine, he was green.
The lieutenant throws his pen on the table.
LIEUTENANT (angry): - Take off the handbrake, witness. I have already written the same thing in three copies.
CAPTAIN: - Lieutenant, don't spoil the paper.
The captain approaches the table.
CAPTAIN: - Wait, are you writing on toilet paper?
LIEUTENANT: There was one like this laid out on the table.
CAPTAIN: - I prepared it for myself, and you! Why are you so stupid?
The captain comes close to the standing witness. Nose to nose.
CAPTAIN: - Come on, witness, speak further and in more detail. WITNESS: - Much more detailed. In the grass Grasshopper sat.
LIEUTENANT: - Comrade captain, maybe he is scared to death and cannot put two words together. Maybe he's a moron?
WITNESS: - Give it to yourself, give it to yourself.
CAPTAIN: - Well, I didn’t guess it before. He's wearing a white shirt. Get him out of here. Let's go friend.
The lieutenant gets up from the table and approaches the witness.
LIEUTENANT: - Come on, witness, go, we don’t need you.
WITNESS: - Where to go?
The captain pats the witness on the shoulder.
CAPTAIN: - Say that you were sent. And just a few letters. Go that way.
The lieutenant opens the door and the witness comes out. Grandfather looks out from behind the door.
CAPTAIN: - Grandfather, come in. Sit down. Make yourself at home, but don’t forget that you are in the mentorship.
Grandfather comes in. He takes his cap off his head. Sits on a chair. The lieutenant sits down at the table.
CAPTAIN: - Well, come on, grandfather, tell me. Lieutenant, put everything in the protocol. Don't touch my paper.
GRANDFATHER: It was getting dark.
CAPTAIN: - Now this is a real witness. This is what I understand, grandfather.
GRANDFATHER: It was getting dark.
LIEUTENANT: - What, it got dark twice?
GRANDFATHER: - Once.
CAPTAIN: - Don't interrupt the witness. Come on grandpa, continue.
GRANDFATHER: It was getting dark.
LIEUTENANT: - Start on a new line?
CAPTAIN: - Yes, even write vertically, just shut up. Don't interrupt grandpa.
GRANDFATHER: It was getting dark. Stars appeared in the sky. The moon was...
CAPTAIN: - What moon? Speak to the point.
GRANDFATHER: It was getting dark. I went to bed. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.
CAPTAIN: - Well, you got it, grandfather. What did you see, tell me?
GRANDFATHER: - I saw dreams.
CAPTAIN: - What dreams, what are you chasing, grandfather? Did you see how a man was killed? Who shot, what were they wearing? Did you see that?
GRANDFATHER: I woke up from the noise.
CAPTAIN: - Now this is interesting. Sergeant, take notes.
CAPTAIN: - Come on, grandfather, let's remember. Let's.
GRANDFATHER: I woke up from the noise. I forgot to turn off the TV.
CAPTAIN: - Grandfather, why are you driving? What other TV?
GRANDFATHER: - Third generation horizon.
CAPTAIN: - Tell me about the case, what suspicious things did you see?
GRANDFATHER: - Well, I’m telling you. I forgot to turn off the TV. He screamed and moaned so much. I woke up at two in the morning, wanted to turn it off, but they showed something like this that I couldn’t bring myself to turn it off.
CAPTAIN: - Speak to the point, grandfather. You can tell us about the TV tomorrow. Tomorrow is Sunday, the evil duty officer is on duty, you will come and tell him.
LIEUTENANT: - For the last time, by the way.
CAPTAIN: - Let's get down to business. Have you looked out the window?
GRANDFATHER: - Out the window? Why look out the window if on TV there is one man and three women doing this.
CAPTAIN: Grandfather, sit down. Although no. You're already sitting. Get up, come on.
Grandfather gets up from his chair. He holds his cap in his hand.
CAPTAIN: - Sergeant, who did you bring?
LIEUTENANT: He said that he saw everything.
GRANDFATHER: - I saw everything. Only the camera didn’t film everything.
LIEUTENANT: He says he saw how they killed him.
CAPTAIN: - Grandfather, is it true, did you really see how they were killed?
GRANDFATHER: I saw it, my soul was torn by what I saw. I couldn't sleep until the morning. He pestered his grandmother.
CAPTAIN: - Tell me, did you really see how they were killed?
GRANDFATHER: - Of course. Three women killed a man's love. They corrupted him so much that they killed his love for the fourth woman.
CAPTAIN: Grandfather, go home to grandma. And tell me everything you saw.
GRANDFATHER: She ran away from home.
CAPTAIN: We are not interested in this. If you remember something relevant, come. And don’t go to the police with such nonsense again.
GRANDFATHER: - I didn’t contact him, so he pestered me.
CAPTAIN: - Did you pester him?
LIEUTENANT: I acted according to the law. I interviewed witnesses around, in case someone remembered something.
GRANDFATHER: - What do you need to remember, son?
CAPTAIN: - You need to remember who you saw lately.
GRANDFATHER: - So this is the same thing, I already remembered. Lately I saw a young man leaving here. He definitely killed someone.
LIEUTENANT: - Comrade captain, he saw this, that green cucumber.
The captain takes his grandfather by the shoulder and escorts him out of the office.
CAPTAIN: - Grandfather, go home before we send you to another place. I'm so tired of your chatter.
The captain opens the door. Grandfather speaks right in front of the door.
GRANDFATHER: Son, is the witness protection system working now?
CAPTAIN: - It works, of course. Only today is a day off.
The captain closes the door behind the grandfather. Walking around the room.
CAPTAIN: - Lieutenant! If you bring one more such witness, you will become a junior lieutenant. For life.
LIEUTENANT: - I don’t plan to work all my life. I'm only until retirement.
CAPTAIN: - So work normally, if only until retirement. Find normal witnesses. There are so many unsolved cases, and here you are chewing snot.
LIEUTENANT: - Comrade captain, I didn’t know that the witnesses were like that.
The captain approaches the table.
CAPTAIN: - Get out of here and work. He settled down, you understand.
I tore all my toilet paper with a pen. What, you can’t write on a computer?
The lieutenant gets up from the table.
LIEUTENANT: I once tried to write on a computer, but it was somehow inconvenient. The pen slides across the glass screen. And if you write on the back of the computer, the pen gets stuck in all sorts of holes for ventilation.
CAPTAIN: - Go ahead, look for witnesses. He tells me. As if I don't know that it's inconvenient to write on a computer.
The lieutenant leaves the office. The captain sits down at the table. He picks up the scraps of toilet paper from the table and examines them. Through a hole in the toilet paper, he notices a clock on the wall. It's 16:00.
CAPTAIN: - Well, the working day is over. What else am I doing here?
The captain gets up from the table and leaves the office.
Section: >Communication on various topics
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