Are you preparing a surprise for the stronger sex? Then these sketches for February 23rd are funny for men from women especially for you! The performances will add variety to any evening in any group. Even the strictest bosses will laugh. All proposed productions are very simple, with a minimal set of details. Therefore, you will definitely find what you are looking for.
Surprisingly, absolutely identical scenes look completely different depending on the participants. Therefore, you never know what result to expect in the end. However, it will definitely be funny.
Read also: “Bride” - 7 delicious salad recipes.
Costumes mean a lot. The image adds 50% laughter to the miniature. Therefore, pay special attention to your outfits.
The most enterprising participants of any age are suitable for skits. The main thing is a great desire and a positive attitude.
Husband for an hour
Characters:
- housewife - a woman in a robe and curlers;
- “husband for an hour” brigade - three women dressed in men’s work clothes (overalls, caps, etc.).
Requisites:
- poster “Happy February 23”;
- table with tablecloth + chair;
- lipstick with mirror + nail file;
- a couple of magazines;
- telephone (preferably landline).
Musical accompaniment: Benny Benassi - Satisfaction.
A housewife sits either on the table or on a chair at the table, filing her nails, periodically applying lipstick and leafing through magazines. And suddenly, a strange sound is suddenly pronounced.
Housewife (jumps up in horror): Oh! The pipe burst. What to do? What to do? Oh! So, don't panic. You need to turn off the tap.
Pretends to turn off the tap. At this time a click is heard.
Housewife : Oh! And the light bulb burned out. So what should we do? What day is it today? Maybe change the light bulb? Yeah, how... I can’t reach her. The only chair is wobbly.
He sits down at the table and nervously leafs through the magazine.
Housewife : So, somewhere here I wrote down the phone number of the housing office. Yeah, here it is. (calls) Hello, girl, I have problems. A pipe has burst, a light bulb has burned out, a chair is collapsing! What is it, life is falling apart!!! (crying) How is it that no one is there? How is it that after the corporate party on February 23, no one went to work? Are you kidding me? What should I do? My problems? Boorish! (hangs up in a nut case)
She flips through the magazine again.
Housewife : There must be something here. I'll find something now. So, advertisements, uh-huh... This is my salvation! (kisses the page of the magazine) Hello, is this your husband for an hour? Hello, did anyone go on a spree after the corporate party? Come on, well, anything can happen! I urgently need male help. Ok. I'm waiting. Doorbell. Three workers (girls in disguise) appear.
Workers : Did you call, mistress?
Housewife : Well, finally! My dear ones, help. Wagon works!
Workers : No question.
The music turns on (Benny Benassi - Satisfaction), the crew begins to dance. Movements can be voluntary or synchronous - it doesn’t matter. The main thing is that it is funny. One minute is enough to dance. A housewife can also start dancing.
Workers : Everything is done. Mistress, take the job.
Housewife : Thank you, dear ones. Is there anything else you can do? (holds a rolled up poster in his hands) I have a piece of wallpaper left here, should I hang it up?
The brigade agrees. All participants in the skit stand in one row and unfurl the poster “From February 23rd.”
Housewife (addresses the audience): Dear men, we congratulate you on Defender of the Fatherland Day! As you can see, we can’t do without you. So always be there!
Scene No. 2 – Gentlemen officers
Presenter : On February 23, it’s so nice to receive attention and a gift from the woman you love. But what to do if there is not a single beautiful lady within a radius of several kilometers? So, a sketch for Defender of the Fatherland Day in the army. Meet Lieutenant (last name) in the role of Romeo and Major (last name) in the role of Juliet!
Two men in medieval men's suits come out. The major, confused, calls the leader to him, but he leaves.
Major : So, wait a minute, guy. (Approaches the lieutenant) Am I Juliet? Why did I only find out about this now?
Lieutenant : Well...
Major : Wildebeest bagels! Attention! Answer loud and clear!
The lieutenant stands up to attention: If you had known about this, you would have refused yesterday! But since you are here...
Beautiful music plays, Romeo runs backstage and brings a dress.
Lieutenant : Oh, dear Juliet! It's time for you to wear this!
The major laughs: Do you want me to put on a dress? What's your name?
Lieutenant : Vanya.
Major : Van, are you a moron? I should be Romeo, not you. Romeo is from an intelligent family. Anyone who has read Shakespeare knows this!
The lieutenant unbuttons the major’s shirt: I graduated from MGIMO, my father is a professor, my mother is a doctor.
Major : How did such an idea even come to your mind? I tried so hard and prepared. I found a suit from my grandfather. I demanded a rapier straight from the museum. I spent half a day reading Shakespeare in the gym!
The lieutenant nods understandingly and unfastens the major's pants.
Major : And I did all this to now find out that I’m playing Juliet?!
The major remains in a T-shirt and shorts in the middle of the stage.
Major : What is your name, you say?
Lieutenant : Vanya.
Major : Vanya, are you stupid? I won't be a girl!
Lieutenant : Well, why? Come on, put on a dress. Put it on. (Puts the dress on the major) Let's straighten your hair. And great!
Major shyly: Do you think I'm beautiful? Otherwise it seems to me that all this... well, doesn’t suit me.
Lieutenant : Who told you that, Mr. Major? You look great. And you may, of course, be surprised, but for several minutes you’ve been breaking down like a girl!
The major shrugs it off and agrees to play. The lieutenant gets down on one knee, music plays.
Major : Stop! I got it! Who turned down the role? Speak up, bastard!
The lieutenant stands up: Our captain refused.
Major : That's rubbish! I knew it!
The presenter looks out from behind the scenes: Romeo, Mercutio is here for you!
The lieutenant adjusts the major's dress. The major resists, pushes, they hug. A young ensign appears on stage in the role of Mercutio.
Ensign : Well, hello, Romeo! And...Juliet...
Lieutenant : Come on, friend, tell me honestly! How do you like my bride?
Ensign : I don’t even know what to answer you. Brutal, pumped up lady! (Leans towards Romeo and whispers) Where did you find this Juliet? At the rodeo?
Major : Shut up, both of you, pigs! I'm not Juliet! I'm Romeo!
Ensign : So, I didn’t understand something. What do we have, Romeo and Romeo? Although I even like it. Such a Moscow love story!
He strokes the major's cheek, and he slaps his hands.
The ensign steps backstage: I won’t disturb you, bye-bye! Come on Romeo, take the bull by the horns!
Lieutenant : Enough! OK! Do you want to play Romeo, Comrade Major? Play! I'll be Juliet. Wig and dress for me! (runs backstage)
The music turns on. The lieutenant enters the stage. The major is baptized.
Lieutenant : Oh, dear friend, Romeo. Let's run away from Verona so that we can be together and get married. Well, what do you say, honey? Why are you keeping silent?
Major : Bad. I don't believe a single word. Who plays a woman like that? Where is the passion, flight, energy? Now I'll show you how to do it. Wig for me!
The presenter runs out, puts a wig on the major and leaves. The same music is playing.
Major : Oh, dear friend, Romeo! My love! (comes closer, strokes his face) Let's run away from Verona so that we can be together and get married! Well? why are you silent? (grabs him by the throat and strangles him)
Ensign takes the stage: So, what did I miss? Are you here now Juliet and Juliet? Is this play set in Thailand?
Major : That's enough! Turn off the music and lights. Cursed be the day I agreed to participate in this farce! If it weren't for the call from the general himself, I wouldn't be here with you idiots!
Lieutenant : I even remember what he said. (Copies the general’s voice) Comrade Major, it’s an urgent matter. Performance on February 23, let's support the cheerful spirit of the soldiers. Cognac for me.
Major : Cattle. So it's all you. (The ensign hides in fear and watches) What is your name?
Lieutenant : Vanya. Just please, Major, don't. Dont kill!
Major : You are a fool, Vanya. (Baptizes him) I will not tolerate such soldiers in my company!
The major strangles the lieutenant, knocks him down and allegedly hits his head on the floor. The presenter runs onto the stage to the music.
Presenter : There is no sadder story in the world than the story of Romeo and Juliet!
The major stops beating the lieutenant, gets up and leaves. Prapor drags his friend off the stage by his legs. The end, the audience is in slight shock, laughing, loud applause for the actors!
Scene from Baba Yaga
Characters:
- Baba Yaga;
- leading.
An appropriate costume is prepared in advance for Yaga.
Host : Grandma, are you lost? Can anyone help you?
Baba Yaga : What kind of grandmother am I to you? Only 108 years old! I will still outlive you.
Host : Okay, okay! Just wondering what you forgot here!
Baba Yaga : I'm looking for a man. What is not clear! Today is February 23rd, which means they are all gathering together. I smell a lot of testosterone here.
Presenter : Ah! So are you an enviable bride?
Baba Yaga : (flirting) Otherwise! Come on, show me everyone, otherwise I’ll eat you!
Host : Grandma, don’t be offended. Well, what kind of dates are you looking for? Yes, it’s almost impossible to get a heart attack from the first wedding night!
Baba Yaga : (raises a broom) What night?! I need a security guard. They attacked my hut. Gorynych threatens to burn him, Leshy proposes marriage, Koschey writes all sorts of obscene inscriptions on the fence.
Host : So you need a professional. Contact the security office.
Baba Yaga : What else is this?
Host : Here, take a business card. Okay, I have it in my pocket. Let them protect you. And contact our guys too. To help, to protect - it’s in our blood, as men.
Baba Yaga : Oh, how good it is that you exist, our protectors!
Scene 3. Agenda
One actor play. A student is sitting at a computer, talking on the phone:
- Well, I created a dating site, it’s been two days already, and no one registers there. Now I'm registering myself. I’ll add a photo of a muscleman, write that he’s strong, handsome, and I love training. Eat! Oh, look, someone is already writing. Well, nothing at all, lips, chest, long hair. Damn, he asks why there are so many mistakes, are all the jocks really stupid. But I’m not stupid, you know what I have with the Russian. Well, wow, do blondes still have a brain or something? Oh here's another one. Oh, this one will be even more interesting. How many years, he says. We'll answer now. Oh, guess what, he asks where I live. He wants to come, his address, he says, tell me where you are now. Gosha. So, the file is uploading, maybe he wants to send a photo? Damn, guess what, this is a subpoena! Ensign Ivanov, damn it... It’s somehow not like a soldier to pretend to be a woman.
Body check
Characters:
- conscript - a girl dressed in camouflage;
- speech therapist;
- head physician;
- therapist;
- immunologist;
- sexologist;
- expert in narcology.
Requisites:
- Chupa Chups;
- enema;
- garlic;
- balloon.
All doctors are played by women. For the looks you will need white coats.
Head physician (addressing the audience): Everyone knows that conscripts are required to undergo a medical examination. For this reason we have gathered today.
Conscript : Hello, is a medical examination carried out here?
Head physician : Yes, here are the directions for you. Go through the doctors, then come back to me.
The head doctor leaves for a while, and a speech therapist appears. Next, all the doctors also leave, one by one.
Speech therapist : Well, about three, repeat the phrase to me clearly: “The little fair-haired guy with no prospects.”
Speech therapist : Well, it will do for the army. And to develop diction, take a special medicine! (gives a lollipop) Now, to the therapist!
Therapist : So, you look healthy. Come on, do 5 push-ups.
The conscript can barely do one push-up.
Therapist : Well, nothing! It’s good, they’ll teach you in the army. Here is a universal remedy for all diseases. (gives an enema) Go to an immunologist.
Immunologist : Come on, sneeze! (the conscript sneezes in fright) I thought that your immunity was weak. Well, it’s okay, it’s good! There's nothing wrong with this, keep it up. (gives garlic). A sexologist is waiting for you.
Sexologist : Do we have any complaints?
Conscript : No way.
Sexologist : And so that they don’t continue to exist, keep a means of protection. (gives a deflated balloon) I am the last doctor for today.
Head doctor : Well, I see that according to the testimony of all the doctors, you are fit. Are you ready to serve your homeland?
Conscript : Exactly!
Scene 1. Girls are drafted into the army
If girls were drafted into the army, the military registration and enlistment office would look a little different.
Character 1: Lyuba! What's the urgency? Why was I called to work?
Character 2: It's Monday, stupid! You still have to go to work, but we have a new call here.
Character 1: We’ll do it quickly, now we’ll send everyone to the army and let’s go have coffee, I brought it for cakes. Well, let's see what we have here. Anna, come in.
Anna: I’m not fit for military service, look at my medical history.
Character 1: No, look at the photo. What do you see?
Anna: Me and my boyfriend, we love each other.
Character 1: No, this is a young man, smart, handsome, promising. he's a future lawyer, by the way, and you're distracting him from his studies. You will serve on a submarine!
Anna: Maybe at least In a submarine?
Character 1: It’s all the rest “in” who will serve, and you “on”. You will know how to wag your tail and seduce my son! Suitable! Maria, come in!
Maria: Look at my documents, there is a certificate.
Character 2: This one, with three zeros? A little information, we need a more detailed diagnosis, a longer comment from the doctor. Well, a form with four zeros, no less.
Maria (sad): I understand...
Character 1: Who else do we have here? These ones with the bad haircut?
Two girls: Is this a bad haircut? Have you seen yourself in the mirror?!
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Character 2: Let's leave these, they won't beat off men with such a haircut.
Character 1: Exactly! Let’s just put all the beautiful ones into the service, at least my daughter’s personal life will improve.
Character 2: Yes, but they won’t distract my son from his studies. By the way, how is your daughter? Household? Can you cook borscht?
Women's call
Characters:
- Fekla is a village woman wearing a scarf on her head and a large bag, a package containing pies;
- Marya Ivanovna is an intelligent woman of 40-50 years old, wearing glasses and a business dress/suit;
- Svetochka is a young lady, a fashionista in a tight dress with a fashionable handbag.
Requisites:
- poster “recruitment center”;
- three chairs.
First, Thekla appears in front of the audience and sits down on a chair. Then Marya Ivanovna appears. Marya Ivanovna (addresses Fyokla): Could you tell me where the recruiting station is?
Fekla : So here’s the sign! I'm sitting here myself. Only there’s no one here. And you sit down, sit down. Do not be shy! My name is Fekla, what about you?
Marya Ivanovna : Marya Ivanovna.
Fekla takes out a large pie and offers it to Marya Ivanovna, who politely refuses.
Fekla : But I was surprised that women began to be drafted into the army.
Marya Ivanovna : What’s surprising? What now guys? One is oblique, the other is lame, the third has been mowed all his life by the military commissar. There are not enough soldiers these days, so these measures have been taken.
Fekla : When I found out, I immediately decided I wouldn’t mow. Everyone in the village supported it! What a farewell they gave me! Half the village is still seeing me off.
Marya Ivanovna : So I decided to volunteer.
Svetochka comes on stage.
Svetochka : Can you tell me if this is a recruiting station?
Fekla : Yes, row up to us! Have a seat. Will you have some pies? I'm Fekla, next to me is Marya Ivanovna.
Svetochka : I am Svetochka. No thanks. I am on a diet.
Fekla : Yes, you are thinner than a sliver! I never understood why skinny people need to lose weight.
Marya Ivanovna : Baby, why do you need to join the army? Did you mix up the establishments?
Svetochka : Mom says all the real men are here.
Fekla : What are you doing? Boom Boom? Here women are only encouraged!
Svetochka : Oh, I beg you. At least I can find a guy somewhere, if necessary. By the way, did you know that there is chaos in the army? Have you heard about womanism?
Thekla : Oh, oh! No amount of violence, or whatever you said, will scare me. My mother told me, if you want to become a real woman, go serve. A neighbor’s daughter was discharged the other day. Well, you never know! What biceps! Yes, now she is the first woman in the village.
Svetochka : Have you heard that in the army you are required to wear a uniform? So I have more than enough of these outfits! Blouse from Gucci, dress from Versace!
Marya Ivanovna : Yeah! And they will give you a machine gun straight from Kalashnikov.
Svetochka : Before coming here, I sat in the hairdresser for three hours. What do you think of my hairstyle, girls?
Fekla : So it looks like you’ll have to wear a gas mask there. You also need to manage it in 5 seconds.
Svetochka : What about the hairstyle?
Marya Ivanovna : Let them cut your hair down there. But you’ll learn how to do your hair in 2 seconds!
Svetochka : And where will they interestingly call us?
Fekla : Personally, I’m going to the general’s dacha. I know how to run a household! What is there! I can even chop firewood, flood a bathhouse, and dig up potatoes.
Marya Ivanovna : I would like to go on reconnaissance. I'll take any enemy in no time. Nobody can resist me!?
Svetochka : You swim shallowly, girls. I’ll serve under the colonel!
Fekla : Look, how smart! She got ready in front of the colonel. Wow, how cool.
Marya Ivanovna : It’s unlikely that your dreams will come true, my dear.
Strict voiceover : Form up! All around!
The conscripts are trying to follow the commands, however, they are having little success. Women jostle and panic. Then the voice is heard: “March!” And, marching, the heroines leave the stage.
Scene No. 1 – Box with gifts for February 23
On stage, a man in sweatpants and a T-shirt is watching TV and sipping kvass (or beer, as censorship allows).
The wife (a cutesy lady with glasses) comes in with a box in her hands.
Lena : Igoryosha, I found a strange box on the balcony. What is this?
Igor : And this, Lena, are all your gifts for February 23rd.
Lena puts the box down and looks inside: Oh, how interesting!
Igor with a grin: Oh, how interesting! (Gets up from the sofa, rummages in the box, takes out gifts). A creepy floral tie, still in the package. Don't know why? Chinese razor, shaving brush, suspenders, elephant figurine. Cups, a whole collection, but all different, otherwise they could pass for a set.
Lena adjusts her glasses and pouts.
Igor rummages through the box: Oh, it’s amazing, but the cups are the same (he takes out two with the zodiac sign “Libra”). Lena, this is a fiasco, I’m telling you as a Scorpio. Complete failure!
Lena offended: But here’s the cue! (points to a stick sticking out of the box) A very useful gift, you love billiards!
Igor : I love it very much! Especially when you shout: Igoryosha, kill the spider! (Imitates Lena) Then I play billiards with pleasure (shows how he chalks the cue and hits the ceiling).
Lena with indignation: Just think, he doesn’t like gifts! What did you give me on March 8th?
Igor : What did you drive home from work today?
Lena : Well, that... doesn't count! It's on credit!
Igor : Well, of course! Do earrings and a ring count as cash? Igoryosha, Igoryosha, I want some pancakes! (Imitates Lena funny) Discounts on March 8th!
Lena doesn't give up: What did you give me last year? I do not remember!
Igor : The garage where you put your baby at night!
Lena opens her mouth and searches for words: And I, and I... last year I also gave you a useful gift!
Igor pulls off his sweatpants and shows off his wide family panties: Whoa! Great gift!
Lena : Oh, Igoryosha, how nice, are you wearing them?
Igor : Of course, I have no alternative, a collection of family panties of 18 pieces.
Lena offended: Don't you love me?
Igor takes a very funny knitted hat with a pompom out of the box, puts it on, smiles stupidly: Of course I love it!
Lena incredulously: And it seems to me that you are cheating on me?
Igor takes off his sweatpants again and shows his underpants: Sometimes you really want to change, right from the heart, but he doesn’t take the bait (points to the underpants). 18 chastity belts save our family, Lena!
The wife gets angry, collects all the gifts in boxes: Well, please, I’ll go to a man who appreciates creative gifts (leaves).
Igor followed: Wait!
Lena with hope: Yes, honey!
Igor holds out a stick: I forgot my cue! It is the most valuable in the collection!
Lena runs away, Igor follows her. The song “Don't Leave” by the group Gradusy is playing. The men are happy, dancing and applauding.
