Remade songs by Verka Serduchka for a woman's anniversary

Matryoshka dolls

A comic congratulation for a woman with gifts from close friends.
Hello, dear little woman, you are such a pretty girl.

Although you are no longer 25, the years are passing, your mother is vigorous, We are sending you, my dear, a package for your birthday. A little here, a little here, take it and don’t blame me.

If there is no CANDLE in the house, here it is when the light goes out. MATCHES and a BAR OF SOAP, so that you can wash your face, But a PACK OF CIGARETTES, in case you light a cigarette, maybe not. Life here, you'll understand, you'll smoke and drink here. Here is PIVASIK for order after the bath, or for tiredness. We all blow it ourselves and recommend it to you.

Here's 3 pieces of SALA, eat it or cook it, stretch it out until summer, now it's a treasure. Don't get fat, better feed your guests. Let your foolish friends eat, since they don’t feel sorry for their figure.

A BOTTLE OF HOLY WATER, drops in your mouth before eating. Don’t give it to anyone, say: “It’s not enough for yourself.” If your back suddenly hurts, rub it and hold it. If you get sick, lie down, period, there is a grandson and a son-in-law and a daughter. Let them wash and wash themselves, and don’t bother mom.

As soon as you receive the parcel, quickly take the bottle,

And quickly write an answer, what you liked and what you didn’t. If there is no money in the house, tie a BROOM to your leg. You need to wave the broom and collect the money in a pile.

That's all, goodbye girl, you are like a sister to us, pour vodka into glasses and invite guests to drink.

Three Matryoshka dolls come out one after another with a mincing step. The tallest one goes first, the shorter ones follow, and the smallest one goes last. Matryoshkas can be in robes reminiscent of sundresses. Lush pockets are sewn on the chest and stomach. Matryoshka dolls stand next to each other.

Matryoshka 1. (Sings and dances)

Dancing, he steps aside. In its place is Matryoshka 2

Well, I’m Matryoshka too, My friend and I look alike: Both in fashionable sundresses And with glasses in their pockets! (Pulls out a larger glass or two glasses from his pocket)

Matryoshka 1 and Matryoshka 2 Oh-lyuli, oh-lyuli! The legs began to dance on their own. We dance confidently, And we always drink in moderation!

(The nesting dolls step aside. Matryoshka 3 comes forward.)

I’ll become the third Matryoshka, I won’t leave my girlfriends behind: Also in a fashionable sundress And with a glass in my pocket! (Takes a large mug out of his pocket)

All Matryoshkas: Oh-lyuli, oh-lyuli! The legs began to dance on their own. We dance confidently, And we always drink in moderation!

Matryoshka 1 Congratulations from the bottom of our hearts! Be forever good!

Matryoshka 2 So that when they see you somewhere - In the city or by the river, men fall in stacks in winter and summer!

Matryoshka 3 We wish you health and luck on your birthday!

You, like a little doll, congratulate the birthday girl! Give everyone a pleasant moment by doing this! (or: You, like a little doll, congratulate all the guests now! Give everyone a pleasant moment. By doing this, provide!)

And you are responsible for the task - Tell us all a wish, And especially for the birthday girl! We will listen to you all!

We are waiting for a funny toast from you, Although it may not be easy!

When a participant sings while jumping rope, you can please him with an unexpected reward for a difficult task, i.e. the presenter says: For your beautiful vocals, we will pour you a glass of wine!)

Who is the hottest brunette here? Hug him - my advice to you!

Who are all your blondes? Kiss him right now!

Find the mustachioed one among the guests, take him by the hand, and shake him off with a prickly kiss, just in case!

You must catch all the guests and tickle them lightly!

Give us a riddle, This is necessary for order!

For brotherhood, you offer the hero of the day a glass!

Scratch the back of everyone who craves kindness!

speaker: Three men with beer once sat down under the window. We talked about this and that... We'll listen to what...

1st. If I were the president, I would probably pass a law, so that the birthday would be a day off, of course, so that I could gather my relatives at the table and invite my friends to my place, drink in moderation, treat me, and talk about everything.

2nd. I wouldn't be greedy, I even took it for a couple of days. If you’re starting a banquet, you spend a day walking, a day you go away. What if you can’t calculate your strength - Do you drink more than you can handle? The body will then kick up and go on strike the next morning! So the second day is needed - the body needs a spare one.

3rd. Are you Russian, friends? You can't break traditions! In Rus', everything is threefold - Here everything is simple and clear. Therefore, there is no doubt: Three days, and hello everyone!

1st. I thought, it became clear: Really, brothers, three days are not enough! I would definitely give an indefinite vacation for my birthday! Those who don’t drink have a good day, And for others – as much as they want!

Host: Who agrees for one day? Vote for the holiday with a glass! Who will be satisfied with two days? I don't see your hands. Who's ready to walk for three days? Let's raise our glasses! Who's going to take a vacation? We ask you to raise your glasses! And now we all have a drink, congratulations on your anniversary.

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Work is in full swing every day, but in the midst of ordinary days, suddenly a birthday comes, a wonderful holiday - Anniversary

No! It’s not the woman’s fault, When this date comes, It’s all the fault of the calendar And you, in spite of all the dates, Are still young at heart Slender, graceful and light We won’t wish you much You can’t count all your virtues So remain for God’s sake Always as you are. And age is not a problem. We will survive all the anniversaries. After all, the main thing in life is always So that your soul does not grow old!

Don’t count the years (motif “A Stream Flows”). 1. Don’t count the years, they are good. You are still young, you have lived so little! You sit happy among your friends and celebrate your wonderful anniversary. Pr-v. A stream flows, a stream runs. Today is a glorious anniversary. Let life flow like a big river, as you intended. 2. Let your heart not grow cold with time. Believe us, dear, everything will come true. Live beautifully, as usual in life. May your soul be filled with happiness and spring. Pr-v. 3. The red rowan berries are glowing. After all, you are an amazing woman here, hospitable and awesome, loving, in short, cool. Pr-v.

HOST: Dear birthday girl! Dear guests! What kind of guest is eager to visit us? And what is his name? (there is a knock on the door)

HOST: Who's there? (answer from behind the door): It’s me, postman Pechkin, who brought telegrams for your birthday girl! (Pechkin comes out with a mail bag containing telegrams, on his head, like in a cartoon, he is wearing a hat with his ears down)

2. Everything happened: both joy and thunderstorms. They remember the past years a lot. And your smiles, even roses. We gave it to you sometimes. CHORUS. 3. Let dashing youth pass like melt water through your fingers. Our life, like a daring troika, will continue to rush through the years! CHORUS. Today is your birthday, And no matter how old it is, So be forever young After all, life is given to us only once We won’t worry about it That birthdays add years to us After all, the main thing is to be able to live them in such a way So that there is no room for regret We wish you a full life until edges So that there is no bad weather in the soul In short, without further ado, Great human happiness!

Presenter: Three nesting dolls under the window were spinning late in the evening, And they weren’t spinning as much as they were grinding with their tongue! 1st: We're getting bored! Shall we go, girls, to some guests today?

Host: Then the second one picked it up.

2nd: It wouldn’t be a sin to drink! But where should we go so that we would all be accepted?

Presenter: The third one didn’t guess for a long time, Her eyes became more cheerful...

3rd: Shouldn’t we, girls, go together for our anniversary?!

Paraphrases about different things

Characters

The appearance of the characters can be varied as desired, but the images should be easy to guess. You can also use men in the roles of these old maids.

Presenter: One summer evening the three of us gathered under the window to chat about this and that. The three old maidens. And they decided to tell fortunes - to find out about their fate, to chat about men.

Those girls were a thousand years old together at lunchtime. Anything can happen in life, But the one who was born for love does not lose hope.

One girl says:

Drunkard: If I could fall in love, I would never grow old! Everything burned in the fire of love. There is one old stump here - I’m just too lazy to get involved.

Collective farmer: I wish I could keep quiet, you lakhudra, Look, all the powder has fallen off, And there is a dog!

Who will look at such a woman, blue in the face, thin, smelling of water all over, who will fuck such a woman?

Intelligent: Don't quarrel girls, fear God! I’m so touchy... (moves his shoulder) I remember the Prince of Heavenly Beauty gave me flowers (rolls his eyes) He kissed my hands, shed tears, shed passions (wipes his tears with a handkerchief).

Drunkard: Don't make me laugh, beauty! He kissed her hand and composed romances...

Oh, my life is a tin! I live as if in a swamp, And where can I find a prince? Where is his mother!

Collective farmer: Enough girl, don’t cry, don’t tear my soul. I would be glad to fall in love myself, but I don’t need hemp. There must be an owner who brings in a lot of money. So that he doesn’t drink, doesn’t beat me, and gives me new clothes. I’ll tell you frankly: I walk around in such crap (lifts hem, shows underwear)

Drunkard: No need to shake your panties here! They don't smell like chocolate.

Yesterday I caught a blue-winged eagle. I drank the bottle and that was it. No pants, no grooms, no fun, No love - just a hangover.

Intelligent: Oh, I got emotional! And she could intoxicate the king with tender love.

Everyone approaches the birthday boy:

Calm me down, don’t let me die, warm me up and caress me, and give me a drink!

Source

Congratulations from the nesting dolls

Wooden spoons, rosy dolls. We want to congratulate the hero of the day, present a gift and play on spoons.

3 matryoshka: The moment has come to give our musical present. The moon is already looking out the window, the nesting dolls have started dancing. We invite all honest people to a round dance.

We sing a loaf, and you, dear guests, sing the chorus: This is this width, this is this height

The backing track of the song “Loaf, loaf” plays.

First, 1 matryoshka sings. matryoshka: As on Tamarin’s name day, we baked a loaf: guests: This is the width, this is the height of the matryoshka: Happy birthday We wish you happiness together guests: This is the width, this is the height of the matryoshka: Good luck to you everywhere in everything So that yours is complete house. guests: This is this width, this is this height.

Sings 2 nesting dolls: Happy birthday, dear. Congratulations from the bottom of our hearts. guests: This is the width, this is the height of the matryoshka: So that you don’t know poverty, So that the guests receive a salary: This is the width, this is the height of the nesting doll: So that guests come to you and bring gifts. guests: This width, this height

Sings 1 matryoshka matryoshka: To be loved and to love And guests to live to be a hundred years old: This is the width, this is the height of the matryoshka: Don’t lose your beauty and shape To be young guests all the time: This is the width, this is the height of the matryoshka: Don’t be angry, don’t swear , Never worry. guests: This width, this height

Sings 2 nesting dolls: It’s always both sad and pleasant when guests celebrate a birthday: This is the width, this is the height of the nesting doll: Don’t get sick, don’t be discouraged, Eat more, sleep better. guests: This is the width, this is the height, the matryoshka cries out: And for this loaf, pour us all glasses. guests: This is the width, this is the height The birthday girl says So that there is an abundance of health, I ask everyone to pour 100 grams of this width, this height

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Table scenes

Portrait of a birthday girl

This skit requires 16 participants. You can do less, then the portrait will be passed around in a circle. In advance, you need to place a sheet of paper in the photo frame on which guests will draw a portrait. The sheet of paper must be at least A4 size. The prepared frame is passed around the circle and each guest must draw one part of the face. To make the portrait bright, it is better to prepare multi-colored markers. How and what to draw,” says the presenter.

1st guest : Let's draw beautiful eyes to drive you crazy without publicity.

2nd guest : And don’t forget about eyelashes. It should be thick, so that with a wave, we flutter!

3rd guest : And let’s add a neat little nose to her, let her have a snub-nosed, elegant question...

4th guest : And your mouth needs to be decorated with a smile, and not a malicious, nasty grin!

Guest 5 : Feel free to draw rosy cheeks.

6th guest : Big ears should not be in vain, so that compliments can be heard clearly!

7th guest : Let's reward her with a chic hairstyle. And we go into turbo mode.

8th guest : Draw a slender body without a flaw!

9th guest : There should be diamonds and platinum on the handles!

10th guest : And legs in stiletto heels will conquer the streets of France!

11th guest : We’ll dress our girlfriends in a fashionable dress to the envy of our friends!

12th guest : Let's fill the empty spaces with money. But we’ll still leave a little space.

13th guest : There should be a cool car nearby and a house by the sea, draw without sparing!

14th guest : We’ll also write “Happy Birthday” at the top!

15th guest : Let's add that there is nothing better and more beautiful than her in the world!

16th guest : And we will present our birthday girl with a finished portrait!

Universal suffrage

The scene is suitable for a married woman. The host distributes two signs to all guests, except the birthday girl: one is red, the other is green. After this, the presenter reads the text, if the guests agree with the statement, they raise a green sign, if not, a red sign. Thus, guests vote after each sentence spoken.

Leading:

1. Today we celebrate the birthday of our dear (name). She set a stunning table, all the dishes were delicious!

Sketch for Agricultural Workers Day “Song of a fighter against the Colorado potato beetle”

(a woman comes out in a headscarf and an apron with a large pocket. “TOXIC CHEMICALS” is written large on the pocket and a bottle of vodka sticks out. She sings a song to the tune of the well-known “Katyusha”)

Apple and pear trees blossomed, And then the potatoes blossomed! Katyusha took to the field to fight the Colorado potato beetle!

She came out, started a song, diluted a poisonous solution, she gave it to all the beetles, boldly looking straight into their eyes!

Let them remember the simple girl, Let them hear her sing! Let them not eat their own potatoes, they don’t grow them for them anymore!

Sketch for an anniversary, a woman’s birthday “Gratitude from Ushastik”

Dear birthday girl! An Unusual Citizen has come to visit us! He is a little strange in appearance, He wants to say “thank you”, And for what – now we’ll find out. Guest! We invite you!

(a man comes out with very large ears made of cardboard, foam rubber or sewn from something else, he sings a song to the birthday girl):

EARED SONG. (to the tune of the song about Cheburashka “I was once a strange, nameless toy...”)

. the scene will continue in the full news

Sketch for the anniversary or birthday of the birthday woman “Cheerful Baby”

Dear guests! Now let's remind the birthday girl about her childhood, about her carefree time! We have a guest who, without coquetry, knows about childhood and will tell you everything!

(a plump man, dressed up like a little girl, runs out, jumping like a child, i.e. he has a big bow on his head, trousers with ruffles to the knee, some kind of child’s blouse, chanting “La-la-la, la-la- la”, stops in front of the birthday girl and sings a song in a childish manner, to the tune “A Christmas tree was born in the forest”)

. continued in “read more”

Verka Serduchka's show

(Verka Serduchka performs a verse, and maybe the entire song “Gorilka”.)

Verka Serduchka : Citizens! Urgently need some vodka to overcome the effects of stress! Man, don’t look like that, the lady might get embarrassed! (Drinks a glass.) Oh, it’s bitter, girls, it’s bitter! Why doesn’t anyone shout “bitterly”? Oh, I forgot, it’s not a wedding, it’s an anniversary! Well, who are we drinking for? Oh, and this is the hero of the day? What prince, what prince is missing, girls! Now, now, your princess is coming to you! (Heads to the hero of the day.) What, is the princess sitting next to him? (Disappointed.) Oh, girls, what a missing prince! Of course, she is far from me, but she is also okay. Okay, the prince is not mine, congratulations, congratulations, congratulations! Yes, sit, sit! Probably a lot has happened already? I know what you mean! I am an older woman myself. I won't say which one. So, have you already been congratulated? Why then not in lipstick? What, girls, no one could even kiss a man? Well, let me kiss you! (Kisses the hero of the day so that a bright spot remains on his cheek.) Here, it is clearly visible that the person is congratulated. What did you give? Don't know yet? Are they all wrapped up? Well, what are you doing! It should be unfolded immediately. No, no, leave it like that. And then suddenly you'll get upset. You'll watch one tomorrow. Let me give you something without any wrapping at all, so you can immediately see what kind of gift it is. Marvel! I take the candy, remove the wrapper and give it to you, so that life is sweet! And so that it’s not cloyingly sweet. Oh, girls, where is my purse? Oh, here he is! Here is a special, anniversary, safe vodka for the health of the hero of the day from my reticule!

Sketch for the Day of Advertising Agency Workers “Song of the Breadwinner”

(several people come out with posters on which some funny advertising of goods is written, and sing a song based on the song of the Boni M ensemble “Bahama, Bahama Mama”, start singing from the chorus)

Advertising! Advertising, mom! We are sure that advertising will feed us! Advertising! Advertising, mom! Every program shows us!

We advertise everything that people need, And everything that, in general, is nonsense! We are full of tempting ideas and we will always be needed!

Advertising! Advertising, mom! We are sure that advertising will feed us! Advertising! Advertising, mom! Every program shows us!

We help speed up the selection process. You can’t do without it now! So that you don't experience nervous stress, that's what we are there for, friends!

Advertising! Advertising, mom! We are sure that advertising will feed us! Advertising! Advertising, mom! Every program shows us!

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Anniversary parodies

1. Verka Serduchka's show

Verka Serduchka: Yes, girls! Come to me quickly! Now I’ll sing a sad song about love... New Year’s Eve, and I’m without champagne. Shaw? What are you talking about? Isn't it New Year's Eve? And what kind? Anniversary? And what’s more, it’s not night, but evening? Oh, what's going on, girls! It’s all this, what’s his name… stress! The heart is pounding, the chest is falling, the head refuses to think. I urgently need a glass... well, quickly! What champagne?! What does champagne have to do with it, since it’s not New Year’s Eve? And then, have you never heard my song? Yes, maestro! Help me!