A fairy tale-sketch about a crow in a new way
(The presenter reads the text, it is advisable to choose musical accompaniment) Somewhere God sent a piece of cheese to a crow; (A man comes out, holding a wad of money in his hands and counts them with a smile on his face) Crow perched on a spruce tree, (The man climbs onto a chair and counts the money again) I was just about ready to have breakfast, Yes, I was lost in thought, and I had cheese in my mouth. (With a dreamy face, holding the money in a fan, he looks somewhere into the distance) To that misfortune, the Fox ran close by; (The girl comes out with a beautiful coquettish gait, seeing the man, walks around the chair) (The man stands “not seeing” the girl) Suddenly the cheese spirit stopped the Fox: (The girl, seeing a fan of money in the man’s hands, stops and begins to coquettishly examine it) The fox sees the cheese, The fox was captivated by the cheese, (an insidious plan appears on the girl’s face, her face is towards the viewer) (The man, noticing the girl, hides the money behind his back) The cheat approaches the tree on tiptoe; She twirls her tail and doesn’t take her eyes off Crow (the girl approaches the man flirtatiously and seductively, making movements with her hands along her figure) “bewitching” music should sound... (The man smiles, but also carefully examines the girl) Presenter: And he speaks so sweetly, barely breathing: Girl: “My dear, how beautiful! What a neck, what eyes! (walks around the chair, gently touching the man with his hands) (The man carefully watches the girl so that she doesn’t notice anything...) Girl: Tell stories, really! What feathers! what a sock! (moves the man’s hands up and down, while the man tries to cover the money...) And, truly, there must be an angelic voice! (runs his hands along the lower part of the man’s torso) (The man is happy...) Girl: Sing, little light, don’t be ashamed! (Gently pulls the man from the chair and with his hands begins to hug himself in the area of the chest, hips, trying to discreetly count the money in the man’s hand) (The man resists, but not very much...) What if, sister, With such beauty (The girl says these words while looking passionately in a man's face and, unnoticed by him, runs his hand over a wad of money) and you are a master at singing!!! (bites into the man’s lips - imitation of a LONG kiss, standing with his back to the viewer) (The man stands dumbfounded and stunned) Presenter: The Prophet’s head was turned with praise, The breath stole from his goiter from joy, (The man cannot believe in his happiness, looks at the girl dumbfounded , with hope and full of strength for love...) And in response to Lisitsyn’s friendly words, the Crow croaked at the top of her crow’s throat: (The man runs up to the girl and kisses her lips, the girl plays along and returns the kiss so that the man’s money falls from his hands and crumbles ...) (The man raises his hand to his head (imitation of dizziness) and the exhausted man sits down on a chair with a blissful smile on his face, his eyes are closed) The cheese fell out (The girl at this time picks up the money, hides it in her purse, kisses the exhausted man on the forehead and leaves with a flirtatious gait) There was such a trick with him.
Fairy tale “Kolobok” in a new way
HOST: Once upon a time there lived a grandmother and grandfather, They lived together side by side, Once upon a birthday, the grandfather asked him to bake a pie. Grandma is playful from a young age, cheerful and talkative...
GRANDMOTHER: I don’t have money for a pie. I’ll bake a bun, so that I spend less, I’ll knead flour and water.
GRANDFATHER: Okay, grandma, I agree. The bun will be beautiful, You cook it with your soul, And at the same time sing songs.
GRANDMOTHER: (adhering to grandfather) Oh, you, dear old man, Let me touch the side.
GRANDFATHER: Get rid of it, go and cook, Don’t paw me yet, the night will be ahead, Then come (leaves)
GRANDMOTHER: (Rolls a “kolobok” - a balloon or a ball, while humming) Kolobok, kolobok, Your ruddy side will be As the old man eats you, He will become strong like a bull, He will be like a young man again, Have fun with me, I will be happy then And I will forget about the years.
(Grandma made a bun, put it on the window and left)
KOLOBOK: (blows the ball off the window) Wow! Hello guys! I am my grandfather's old lunch. It’s like a pie for my birthday, And my name is Kolobok, I have a hot side, Until my grandfather appeared, I rolled away...
HOST: A bun is rolling through the forest, and a hare meets it. (Runs, trembles, empty bottles clink in his bag)
KOLOBOK: Hey, hi! Who are you? Where are you going, scythe?
HARE: I'm running to the stall on business, Koresh sent for the white one. I really wanted to drink, so I quickly flew away.
KOLOBOK: (walks around the hare) Who is your friend, little boy? Goat or cockerel?
HARE: What are you, what are you not, of course, My friend is so sinless. His name is Gray Wolf. A real woman's rogue. He walks with Kuma - Fox, Well, he attracts chicks, He likes to have fun, Freebies to get drunk.
KOLOBOK: Okay, okay, don’t shake, Well, relax, smile...
HARE: (sniffs, touches the bun) What is your name, my friend? Oh, what a hot side! The grain spirit is standing around...
KOLOBOK: I am called a Kolobok You can only listen to me, But don’t even think about eating me, They didn’t bake me for you, Where you went, go there.
HARE: Why are you rushing into the forest, stupid? Aren’t you afraid that they’ll eat it?
KOLOBOK: I know a remedy for enemies. I invite everyone to the holiday, Grandfather’s birthday, Come to dinner too.
HARE: Well, then I’ll leave, I’ll warn everyone in the forest
HOST: The bun rolls further, and the gray Wolf meets it.
WOLF: What kind of miracles are these, Not pie, not sausage? No arms, no legs... Hey, who are you?
KOLOBOK: I am Kolobok.
WOLF: Come on, you billiards with eyes, let me touch the barrel... (trying to touch the bun)
KOLOBOK: Immediately feel it, so what! Are you sometimes not gay?
WOLF: For your words I will now eat you...
KOLOBOK: These are the times!? I’ll eat right away, Wait, wolf, Come visit, my friend, Do you know Grandma and Grandpa’s house? Come there for lunch.
WOLF: Okay, I convinced you. Well, bye, I dusted off.
HOST: The bun rolls further, and a bear meets it.
BEAR: What kind of ball is this that is bouncing around my clearing? Hey, rosy, who is he? (Kolobok, shying away, wants to pass by)
KOLOBOK: I’m not tasty...
BEAR: Hey, wait! This time I want to devour you, Then I will continue to stomp.
KOLOBOK: Who are you, clumsy?
BEAR: I am the Bear, the terror of animals!
KOLOBOK: Okay, Misha, don’t growl, It’s better to come and visit Grandfather for his birthday. I invite guests. Come too, quickly.
BEAR: Okay, if this is the case, then I’ll come, go, don’t be brave.
HOST: The bun rolls further, and the Fox meets it. (looks flaunting in the mirror, walks through the forest)
KOLOBOK: Who else is this? Fox? Oh, what bodies!
FOX: Oh, ruddy bun (sniffs) Wow, what a fragrant side! Come to me, my friend, I remember you a little.
KOLOBOK: Oh, beautiful Fox, gray wolf maiden, I won’t walk with you, I’m afraid of your friend.
FOX: Don't be afraid of his friend, I'll deal with the wolf. I’m afraid of him myself, But I’ll have fun with you, And then I’ll treat myself.
KOLOBOK: Oh, you’re a cunning cheat, Well, I’m not a fool, You’ll come to my grandfather, You’ll spend the night with me.
FOX: Okay, I’ll come, of course...
KOLOBOK: Let me have some fun, who is not sinless?
GRANDMOTHER: (comes out to see if the bun has cooled down or not, but it hasn’t) Strange, where is the bun, the birthday cake? What should I treat my grandfather with, what should I lure him into the night? What, is the treat ready? For my birthday?
KOLOBOK: (runs out to grandma and grandpa) Hey, owners, hello! Have you prepared lunch? Guests will come to you now I called them...
GRANDMOTHER: These are the times!? Grandfather, look at the miracles, Kolobok opened his eyes. I made a little bun, and we got a son.
GRANDFATHER: Oh, grandma, well done! At least she gave me a son back down the aisle, maybe we can make a daughter too?
GRANDMOTHER: Oh, you dear old man, is your “pod” still alive?
GRANDFATHER: Oh, you’re being naughty, old lady, Set the table quickly, Get out the plates and mugs, I went for champagne.
GRANDMOTHER: (singing) Unfortunately, birthdays are only once a year
GRANDFATHER: (enters with a bottle in his hands) Kolobok, where are the guests?
KOLOBOK: And here they are.
(Drum rolls, noise, din are heard. A detachment of congratulatory soldiers appears)
HARE: (walks in front of the column) Who walks together in a row?!
ALL ANIMALS: Congratulations to the squad!
HARE: One, two, three, four, five Let's congratulate Grandfather We came to congratulate Grandfather, Happy birthday to the whole crowd...
ALL ANIMALS: You are the mistress, don’t be shy, sing a song with us!
(Everyone sings)
SONG OF BEASTS (to the tune of the song “Wonderful Neighbor”)
Grandfather's birthday The table is set for all the guests You are the host, smile, Pour us champagne For you today Everyone has raised toasts more than once It's your holiday today, That means it's our holiday too.
Chorus: Pa-pa-pa-pa-raru-pa, etc.
Congratulations on your birthday and wish you many years to come, Because, dear, you are a Wonderful neighbor. Let’s dance with us, We will celebrate your sonorous song with a binge. We celebrate your anniversary with a cheerful crowd.
Chorus: same
GRANDMOTHER: (and all the participants in the fairy tale) You, birthday boy, accept a cake instead of a kolobok, so that he can celebrate your birthday together with your dreams.
(Give a cake or pie).
HOST: This is where the fairy tale ends. Well done to those who were with us.
Fairy tale "Turnip" for adults by roles
The fairy tale is a lie, but there is a lesson in it, a hint for the grown-ups! I will slightly paraphrase a Russian proverb and give you, the readers, a hint as to what will be discussed on this page.
Everyone loves good old stories, remade in a modern way? Yes! Therefore, I would like to please my friends and present the fairy tale “Turnip” for adults in roles. Let this funny interpretation please the ladies on March 8th or all the guests at the next party.
So, what are we going to talk about? And we will talk about modern gadgets that greatly influence our lives. To a large extent, we have already turned into Zombies, and we are controlled by phones, tablets, computers and other smart toys. But how does this relate to the fairy tale “Turnip”? Now you will find out!
Immediately read the funny skit and put on performances with your family, colleagues and friends!
Fairy tale "Turnip" for adults by roles:
Behind the scenes, a beautiful Russian melody in a rustic style sounds, birds sing, and the noise of the forest is heard.
The presenter begins in a fairy-tale voice: Once upon a time there was a grandfather and a woman...
Suddenly the melody ends abruptly and a modern grandmother appears on stage. Dressed in the latest fashion, a pedometer in her hands, headphones in her ears.
The grandmother turns to the presenter: Hey, asshole! What kind of woman am I to you, come out to the battle with me. Let's honor the rapper or organize a marathon running competition!
Voice-over host: Dear grandma, this is not according to the script! It's time to water and hill your garden!
Grandma grins: Now I’ll show you how to hill a garden!
A very catchy melody comes on and the granny famously rocks out in Go-Go style. The audience is delighted, dancing and standing ovation.
While grandma is making sausage, grandfather comes on stage with a large box.
Grandmother finishes the dance, grandfather kisses her on the cheek: Darling, you are in great shape as always!
Grandma, dancing: Hello, dear! What do you have? Another parcel from Aliexpress?
Grandfather: Almost got it right! You know what's happening to me...
Granny: I know, shopaholism and coupon mania.
Grandfather: No, dear! This is something else, it’s as if an inner voice whispers to me: Plant a turnip, grandpa!
Grandma: What? Is this some kind of call of the ancestors?
Grandfather: I probably can’t get rid of it. So I scoured the internet and ordered this.
Granny with interest: Intriguing!
The couple removes the packaging from the box, there is an inscription on it - Smart Turnip!
Grandmother: That's all we needed.
Grandfather: Wait, here are the instructions (takes out a thick book). We need to figure out what's what!
Granny: You don’t understand instructions, that’s why we have trouble with technology. We roll up cans with a 21st century vacuum cleaner, and remove a cat from a tree with an electric fishing rod. You don’t get along with modern gadgets, so maybe the old fashioned way – Plant a turnip, grandpa!
Grandfather: Well, no, I’ll master fashionable wisdom. Where are my glasses?
At this time, the Granddaughter comes on stage to the music, with a huge dog (actor) on a leash.
Girl: Hello, ancestors, what are you suffering from?
Grandmother: Grandfather bought a new gadget, it’s called “Smart Turnip”, now he’ll figure out how to use it. My heart knows this will end badly.
The granddaughter approaches the box and examines it: What’s unusual here? Here is a cord with a plug, which means it needs to be plugged into an outlet.
Grandmother with hope: Maybe it’s not necessary?
The granddaughter rolls her eyes: What will happen? The maximum will close! (plugs the device into the network, the light in the box lights up). Well, this is a lamp. And if you are smart, then there will be lights and music and a disco of the 80s. Cool, what! (grins)
Grandma looks into the box with caution: Is it just me, or is this thing growing?
Granddaughter: Well, just like in a fairy tale! (runs up and smacks grandma) I went for a walk with the Vampire. Bye, bah! (pulls the dog by the leash) Vamp, go ahead!
Grandmother: Bye, dear! (addresses the audience) Now they call dogs scary names. It hurts your ears so much you'll spit and cross yourself. Another thing is my little cat, Vaska, he is Vaska.
Grandfather enthusiastically reads the instructions.
Grandma: Grandpa, did you hear what I’m saying?
Grandfather, without looking up from the book: Pay attention, we have a good cat! But nothing is clear about this thing!
Granny: Don’t worry, it’ll pass as a night light. But where is my Vasily, this is a serious question (pours milk into a bowl). Vasya-Vasya-Vasenka, where are you, my cat?
A healthy cat, Vasily, slowly crawls onto the stage, sniffs, and caresses his owner. He drinks milk, and then notices a new object in the room. Light is streaming from the box and clearly something is happening there!
Grandmother strokes the cat: Vasenka, don’t be surprised, this is grandfather’s new toy.
The cat Vasily sneaks up to the new item, sniffs it, and at that moment it clicks loudly. The cat, squealing on bent paws, quickly runs backstage.
Grandma: Wow, that infernal machine, it scared Koteyka! Grandfather, look, your turnip is growing. I feel like we’ll be harvesting tomorrow (laughs). Give up this Chinese letter, let's go have tea.
The couple goes backstage, the audience laughs and applauds.
A beautiful fairy-tale melody sounds again, birds sing, oak forests rustle.
Presenter behind the scenes: How long, how short, but morning has come in a Russian village!
The lights come on on the stage, and a head with leaves, similar to a Turnip, is already sticking out of the box.
The music changes to rhythmic, Repka says in a human voice: Get up, don’t be lazy, get ready to exercise!
A frightened grandmother in curlers, a grandfather in lopsided glasses, a granddaughter with a dog in pajamas run onto the stage. They walk in place to the music.
Grandmother: Grandfather, what the hell is this?
Grandfather: I don’t know, all I understood from the instructions yesterday was that the Smart Turnip will become your good friend and mentor.
Granddaughter: I think she will become our evil fitness trainer. Because I can't stop, this thing is zombifying us.
Turnip loudly to the music: Now let’s move on to squats!
Granny: Oh my God! Not this!
Grandfather squats: Oh, oh, I can’t stop, my legs don’t obey me!
Everyone does squats together, even the dog Vampire.
Granddaughter: We need to reach the outlet and turn off this plague from the network.
Grandmother reaches out: I’m trying, but I can’t reach it. Can Vasily click?
Grandfather: Cats are not good with electricity!
At this time the melody changes. Turnip again commands in a loud voice: And now take the lying position, push-ups. One-two, one-two.
Grandma on the floor: Well, Hell's Machine, I'll get to you! (The cat screams hopefully) Vasya, Vasenka, unplug the cord from the socket.
The music stops, Repka’s hands suddenly appear from the box, and his legs come out from behind the table. She knows how to walk and command.
Repka: We finished the exercises, now go for a walk and water treatments.
Grandfather, grandmother, granddaughter and dog run backstage screaming. The audience laughs. The turnip slowly follows them, and a cord trails behind it.
The cat Vasily appears on the stage and looks around cautiously.
Vaska: Mmmrff-meow, this terrible thing is gone. Fuyrrrrrr, when I see her, her fur stands on end! Although maybe not from fear, but just static electricity.
Suddenly a thin voice is heard behind the closet: Pee-pee-pee, calm yourself down, you cowardly cat. It's not electricity at all, and you're seriously scared of a big robot.
Vaska: Who is that squeaking there? You white mouse?! Come on out!
Mouse: I won’t go out!
Vaska the Cat: Come out! Otherwise I will hunt you!
At this time, screams are heard again, the whole family runs across the stage in the other direction. The cat hides in time, the terrible Turnip walks by.
The noise subsides, Vaska crawls out: Mrrr-meow, what a horror! My tail is still on end!
Mouse from behind the closet: Coward! Are you afraid of a robot? And I know how to help you!
Cat: How?
A mouse crawls onto the stage: If I help you, promise me you will leave my mouse family alone. I get my lifelong share of cheese, and you get the care and adoration of your grandmother. Is it coming?
The cat scratches the back of his head: Okay! And how will we act?
Mouse: It’s very simple! I chewed all the instructions, but managed to figure out what was what. You need to close a couple of wires inside, and the system unit will be closed. Even in our native China they won’t fix it!
Cat with caution: Great! How do you get to this car, it’s so scary.
Mouse: There is a plan, hide, they are coming back!
The heroes manage to escape, and the family returns to the stage to the music.
Behind them is Repka: Stop! After a run and water treatments, a healthy breakfast! Grandmother cooks porridge, granddaughter bakes pancakes, grandfather sets the samovar. Is this a Russian breakfast?
Grandfather very politely: Dear turnip, of course you are very smart, but can I have a snack with sandwiches and coffee?
Turnip is evil: No, not according to the instructions, it's harmful!
The family is upset, obediently fiddling around in the kitchen.
And at this time the Mouse and the Cat carefully crawl onto the stage. They sneak up on Turnip, and the nimble Mouse pounces on her neck. Dynamic music turns on, sparks fly from the car, and the evil Turnip spins in place.
Turnip closes: This is harmful, this is harmful!
The mouse does not lag behind and chews through the necessary wires, the robot falls and is knocked out.
The family slowly approaches the car.
Grandmother: The end of Turnip?
Grandfather: Looks like it!
Granddaughter: Hurray! Freedom!
The dog Vampire approaches the car, sniffs and growls. Grandmother strokes Vaska and gives the mouse a large slice of cheese.
Grandfather: Let’s pull Turnip out into the street, like in a fairy tale.
Granddaughter: How is that?
Grandfather: That's it! (grabs the robot’s hand) The grandfather grabbed the turnip, pulled, pulled, but couldn’t pull it out. Grandma is calling for help!
Grandmother: You will answer for grandma! (Grabs at grandfather)
Grandfather: Don't grumble! Grandfather for Turnip, grandmother for grandfather, they pull and pull, but they can’t pull it out! They are calling their granddaughter to help!
Granddaughter: Oh, is this your quest? OK!
Grandfather: Grandfather for the turnip, grandmother for the grandfather, granddaughter for the grandmother, they pull, they pull, but they can’t pull it out! They call for help to the Bug, oh, that is, the Vampire! Ugh, Lord!
The dog hugs his owner.
Grandfather: Grandfather for Turnip, grandmother for grandfather, granddaughter for grandmother, dog for granddaughter, pull, pull, but they can’t pull! Call the Cat for help!
Grandma: Vaska the cat! Vasya-Vasya-Vasily!
The cat grabs onto the Vampire Dog.
Grandfather: Grandfather for Turnip, grandmother for grandfather, granddaughter for grandmother, dog for granddaughter, cat for dog, pull, pull, but they can’t pull! Call the Mouse for help!
Mouse: And without me, no problems can be solved in this house!
Grandfather: Grandfather for Turnip, grandmother for grandfather, granddaughter for grandmother, dog for granddaughter, cat for dog, mouse for cat, pull, pull, and pull the hated Turnip out into the street!
To the music, a friendly family goes backstage in single file and pulls the miracle machine behind them.
The audience really liked the fairy tale, they laugh and applaud in unison. End.
Author Irina Mamedova especially for the website “Valley of Positivity”.
