Jokes for the New Year, funny poems
I wish you a whole cart of health, a trailer of well-being, always a great mood and happiness and don’t lose the recipe!
Let your Soul be inspired all year long, full of hope, and let your body be hardened from all illnesses and troubles!
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Santa Claus is already in a hurry to Olivier with herring. He's a little drunk and with some aunt.
He carries a stick in his hands, sings songs and generously scatters gifts from the bag.
Let him give you a wallet, Where Euros, bucks and rubles do not decrease, They only increase.
He will give you a golden fish, so that you do everything, and health in reserve, so that there is no shortage.
And also the intensity of passions, undeniable joys, tender sincere love and sleepless nights!
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Heartfelt words, sober thoughts, Bright days like a garland! Strong nerves, iron strength, heady feelings like port wine.
Easy money, successful meetings, dreams as sweet as candy. May the generous, kind Santa Claus come more often this year!
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I congratulate you on the New Year and with all my heart I wish you: To walk so as not to get drunk, And so as not to fall under the Christmas tree.
Let him be a huge success, live immodestly, in spite of his enemies, brightly, cheerfully, happily, beautifully in a rich way.
To relax in Hawaii, and not in the village, near the barn. And so live the coming year, so that you want to repeat it!
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You! And partly all of them! Individually and in general! Happy New Year! I mean, happiness! With new happiness! That is, with this: With a new roof! Happy new home! Happy new pancake! Happy new com! With new truth! Happy new dream! With a new stack upside down! Happy new business! With a new word! Fishermen - with a new bite! Careerists - with a new rank! Mom and dad - with a new son! Lumberjacks - with a new grove! New sons-in-law - with a new mother-in-law! New Russians - with a new car! With a new bank pack! Bureaucrats - with a new folder! Hairy - with a new hat! Bald ones - with a new cap! Grandfather and grandmother - with a new turnip! Zodiac - with a new sign! To the Greek in the river - with a new cancer! Don Juan - with a new sweetheart! Veterans - with renewed vigor! Businessmen - happy new take-off! Happy new bank! With a new account! Culinary experts - with a new taste! Exporters - with a new course! Bombardiers - with a new goal! Cosmonauts - to new heights! Tugodumov - with a new thought! Chess players - with a new move! Happy New Year to you again!
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I wish for the NEW YEAR, Wine and Vodka Factory, 2 wagons of Crumpled Bucks, 3 Lemons of our money! Vacation for 10 months - Have fun over the hill! A yacht, Lexus New Brand, a whole cartload of diamonds! So that Santa Claus brings you all these gifts! Happy New Year!…
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Another wonderful year has passed, In which there was singing and sadness, And what did not fit in it, Let everything happen in a new one. Hours go by, days pass, - This is the law of nature, And today I want to wish you a Happy New Year! I wish you with all my heart in the coming new year Health, happiness, new strength, success at work.
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In a red fur coat, with a red nose, Grandfather struts in the cold. In a hat, with a stick and a bag and with a drunken snowman. Nearby is a rabbit in heels and a snow maiden on horns. If you meet this rabble, it means New Year is coming!!! I wish you to stumble, fall and cry in life... but... Stumble over money... Fall into arms... Cry with happiness..... In the coming 2021
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Let Santa Claus with a crimson nose make a contribution to your savings book, the Snow Maiden will secretly give you cognac all year round, and Santa Claus will shake the Currency snowball out of his bag
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I want the Christmas tree to have 2 dozen half-liter bubbles instead of Christmas balls, so that Santa Claus in a smile, half-drunk, squinting his eyes, Treats you with the most delicious, the sweetest champagne! Don't get too drunk and don't lie under the tree so that the new Santa Claus doesn't take you to the sobering-up station. They will inform you of your job and suddenly deprive you of your salary...
Jokes about the New Year
Christmas) All women in our galaxy are divided into three categories. The first are those who have already attended women's trainings. The second category includes those who will not go there for anything in the world. And finally, the third are women who are brought to such trainings by some absurd accident. It was precisely this kind of accident that happened to Vera. If she had not treated her colleagues to tea and cake, she would not have been late for their evening delivery. I wouldn’t have gone to the bus stop then and, walking past the coffee shop on the corner, I wouldn’t have seen a tall brunette with long, beautifully flowing hair getting out of an approaching red car. “If I had such a car,” Vera thought, “I, too, would always go without a hat in winter, even in the cold.” She stepped aside and was almost walking past, when suddenly a strangely familiar voice was heard from behind: “Vera... Verka!” Fur coat! Hearing her half-forgotten school nickname, Vera shuddered and looked around. The brunette smiled, showing even white teeth. - Well, hello, Shubina! “Kuropatkina...” Vera gasped, “Tanya, what are you doing?” “I,” she somehow managed to smile even wider, “only now I’m Metelskaya, the last name remained from my third husband... Tatyana Metelskaya, a women’s coach, maybe you’ve heard?” Vera just waved her hands uncertainly. “So spend money on advertising,” Tatyana winked cheerfully and took her hand in her own way, “let’s go!” And a minute later, without having time to object, Vera was sitting at the table, talking about her life and work. Apparently Tatyana was completely at home here, because without asking, the waiter immediately brought them a cup of coffee and a couple of cocktails with long colored straws. Tatyana, not paying attention to him, chattered loudly and energetically: “Yes, are you working in your specialty?” Well done! Married? “It was...” Vera sighed and put the cup of coffee back on the table. “Don’t continue,” Tatyana interrupted her with a wave of her palm, “it’s all in the past, like in Vasiliev’s painting, you better tell me - do you want to get married again?” Vera shrugged and nodded hesitantly. To be honest, she wanted to get married. And also on maternity leave. - You will come out! - Tatiana promised sternly and took out a neat pink square from her purse and handed it to Vera. “Here, there’s a worker and a cell phone, call me, I just start this Thursday at seven.” You don’t need money, if you like it, you’ll pay the minimum wage... On the business card, in elegant gold script, was written: Tatyana Metelskaya, and below, in large letters, “The Art of Being a Woman.”
Or maybe there was no accident. After all, this morning Vera woke up with the feeling that something needed to be changed. As a matter of fact, it was with this very feeling that she fell asleep. But waking up a year older, Vera immediately felt how it intensified. So, she is already thirty-five years old. Thirty five. This fact was undeniable and ruthless, like scales in a nutritionist’s office. Thirty-five years is, whatever one may say, an important life bar. Even in job advertisements they often write this - up to thirty-five. Vera had her own apartment, a good job in a large Tyumen company and rare Friday get-togethers with friends. The history included a scandalous divorce from an unfaithful husband, a couple of some ridiculous casual relationships that did not end in anything serious, and trips to tea with my mother on Sundays. A lonely future lay ahead in all its alarming uncertainty. In principle, there was nothing to lose and Vera made up her mind.
The seminar took place in the building of a former consumer services plant, converted into an office center. A pretty girl who greeted everyone at the entrance sent everyone to the third floor, where women of all ages sat in a small hall. Vera quickly looked around everyone - there seemed to be no acquaintances. Apparently everyone felt awkward and sat in silence. There was such silence that you could hear the cleaning lady who was washing in the corridor quietly grumbling: “The huts have been trampled again...” Everyone froze, pretending that they had not heard anything, and then Tatyana came into the hall. She looked as impressive as if she had just left the hairdresser. Seeing Vera, she gave her a subtle wink and, smiling broadly, said, turning to everyone: “Hello, my dear, gentle, beautiful, charming girls!” Happy New Year to all of you, a holiday of hope and faith in the best! Everyone clapped together. “We are all women,” Tatyana continued. Our destiny is to be a spring of living water, to which a man returns again and again to be filled with strength. Our program is aimed at revealing the true feminine nature and harmonizing internal and external space... Vera listened, carefully looking around. To her surprise, the people sitting around her were mostly pretty, fashionably dressed women. — One of my good friends, one of those who saw me without makeup, well, you know, once confessed to me that a man is, in fact, perishable, like farm milk. He's just waiting to be grabbed and drunk. Yes, yes, they will drink! Everyone laughed timidly and Tatyana, looking approvingly at the hall, walked between the rows. “For example,” she turned to Vera’s neighbor in thick glasses and a long knitted sweater, “tell us, just honestly, are you ready to fight with your fists for your happiness?” Or do you think everything will come by itself? “I somehow thought on my own,” she admitted and blushed. “Your goal now is to arrange your life, and not to wait for princes,” Tatiana snapped and turning her gaze to Vera, she clarified, “right?” It was clear from her look that her goals were a priori clear and did not require any comments. However, to be honest, Vera had nothing special to object to and she nodded in agreement.
The lesson ended after an hour and a half. “So,” Tatyana raised her finger up, attracting attention, “task for the weekend!” Invite a man over! At least just for lunch! Anyone! A husband for an hour, no, he won’t come, it’s not forbidden to any of the neighbors, it’s even better to meet someone tomorrow. A slight noise passed through the hall, which Tatyana stopped with a decisive gesture: “You see, my dears, we need to start preparing the territory.” Put things in order, put away the rags, review the menu. You can have something suitable for everyone, borscht, for example, or spaghetti. By the way, spaghetti made from durum wheat contains vitamin B, which is necessary for the female body. Well, that's it, my dears, until next Tuesday!
In recent years, the climate in Tyumen has become noticeably milder and the December cold lasted only a few days. In the morning, having discovered a living ladybug between the balcony windows, Vera was delighted, it meant it was completely warmer. She didn't like frosts on New Year's Day. And in the evening, when she had already returned from work, it suddenly began to snow. Vera even looked out the window; the snow was still falling, without stopping, in large flakes, as if in some evil and cold fairy tale. She still couldn’t figure out who she should invite to dinner. At the institute, they had an IT specialist, Nikolai, who from time to time repaired her computer and they sometimes went to lunch together. He probably liked her, but it was somehow awkward to invite him over. The weekend assignment began to seem a little stupid to her. After some thought, she decided to buy spaghetti first. Leaving the house, she ran into Mishka Rybin, her neighbor from the second floor, who was smoking at the entrance. Mishka nodded silently and turned away. After serving a couple of years in prison as a young man and traveling around the world, he never settled down in life, surviving on some odd jobs. As a last resort, Vera thought, she could call Mishka. In essence, he was a harmless bum. When, having bought a large pack of spaghetti and a package of cherry tomatoes, she returned from Pyaterochka, two young men in black down jackets and with identical books in their hands were already standing next to Mishka. A large golden cross could be seen on the covers of the books. Obviously, these were some kind of sectarians or preachers. - Actually, to be a witness in a bastard. - Mishka explained to them, - This is not according to concepts, it means that you are like in court, convicting someone or turning him in. So it is better to speak as an eyewitness. So according to the concepts, do you understand, finches? The young people nodded in unison without stopping smiling. Then Rybin noticed that she was standing nearby. - What do you want, Verka? “Nothing,” she said and went into the entrance.
Waking up late on Saturday morning, she immediately went to the window. Overnight, the trees grew into round snow caps, and the cars parked below turned into sloping white mounds. It was winter again. She looked down. The ladybug lay in its place, but no longer moved. For some reason, Vera felt deceived. - Yah you! - she said to the ladybug, completely closing the curtain and going into the kitchen. When the spaghetti was almost ready, she realized that she had forgotten to buy bread yesterday. Deciding to quickly run to the store, she got dressed, grabbed some trash in the hallway, and left the apartment.
The yard, turning white again, was completely empty despite the weekend. Only in the corner by the garbage cans was a lonely homeless man poking around, wearing a short down jacket with a hood that was worn ten years ago. Her ex called them “half-farts.” The down jacket was brightly striped and it looked like a giant colored beetle was swarming in the corner. Vera, creaking the snow under her feet, came closer. The homeless man looked around and, noticing her, froze in embarrassment, holding a jar of some scraps in his hand. “Wow, he’s not old at all, not dirty, and even quite handsome...” Vera noted mechanically, “Maybe the person has just gone downhill, anything can happen.” She put the garbage into the container and, unable to resist, looked back at the homeless man. He stood silently and looked at her patiently, apparently waiting for her to leave. For some reason, Vera remembered their shepherd Dora, who just as patiently stood watch until the impudent cat Senka got enough from her cup, and only then approached the food herself. She picked up Dora as a very small puppy, and quite by chance that day she found herself in the area of the House of Defense. And she brought him home on the “twelfth” trolleybus that was still running at that time, only realizing after a couple of months that they were growing a real shepherd dog. During their divorce, she went to live outside the city, with a new family, and Senka had to be moved to her mother when Vera went to retraining courses in Yekaterinburg in the summer. At his mother’s, Senka grew fat, became insolent, and flatly refused to go back to Vera. And soon trolleybuses were canceled in Tyumen. At the store she bought some ham and a long, crispy baguette. Already approaching the house, I remembered about the cheese, but decided to make do without it. There seemed to be some old piece at home, but you can grate an old piece into spaghetti. The yard was still empty, only the homeless man was still quietly fiddling around the trash can. Seeing Vera, he again stopped rummaging through the waste and even gently shook his head at her, closing his can and awkwardly putting it in his pocket. Vera involuntarily nodded in response and had already walked past a few steps, when suddenly she suddenly stopped and turned around: “Man, are you spa... will you have pasta?” The homeless man looked at Vera in surprise, then thought a little and nodded hesitantly.
“Well, what are you doing? - Vera began to scold herself, entering the entrance and going up the stairs, - what if he brings an infection to you or attacks you? Maybe he should just take it out on a plate?” She glanced sideways. The homeless man obediently walked behind and did not attempt an attack yet. -Why am I doing this? - she felt a little ashamed, - not a dog, but a man... In the hallway, the guest took off his short down jacket, carefully folded it on an ottoman standing at the entrance and, looking around, politely asked: - Tell me, where can I wash my hands? Coming out of the bathroom, he carefully looked around, then just as searchingly looked into Vera’s eyes, bent slightly and introduced himself: “Paul...” “Vera,” she waved her hand towards the kitchen, “come in...”
In the kitchen, the homeless man Pavel carefully sat down on a stool, placing his hands on his knees. Vera involuntarily secretly sniffed it - fortunately, he didn’t smell like a garbage dump. And, in general, if she had met him in another place, she would never have thought that in front of her was some kind of tramp. She looked at him furtively again - well, stubble, yes... well, the sweater is unfashionable... well, of course, it’s baggy and unkempt, but you still can’t say he’s homeless. Maybe a fire victim? Having cut the ham and bread, Vera served the guest a full plate of spaghetti with tomatoes, deciding to make do with tea for now. “It’s even strange,” she continued to think, watching him wield a fork quite culturedly, “it seems like he’s not a drunk... he washed his hands himself...”. Pavel, noticing her gaze, froze and put down his fork. “Eat, eat, I’ll look for more cheese now,” Vera opened the refrigerator, “I’m afraid it’s just old...” “Thank you very much, it’s already delicious,” Pavel started eating again.
The cheese was indeed found in the refrigerator, wrapped in some kind of ancient paper bag. The kind that for some reason you keep in the corner of the bottom shelf and just can’t throw it away. After hesitating, Vera took it out onto the table, but upon unwrapping it, she immediately regretted it. The cheese was not just old. It was already hard as a stone and also completely moldy. Just completely all over. Most likely, she threw away the one she was thinking about earlier, and she put this stub a long time ago to give to her mother for Senka and forgot. At the sight of the mold, Vera became embarrassed, but the guest opposite perked up and, breaking off a small corner of the cheese, began to look at it with interest. Then he turned to Vera. - Tell me, how long have you had this cheese? Vera blushed slightly and for some reason got angry with herself for this, answered sternly: “I don’t remember, but if it doesn’t suit you, there’s no other way.” Pavel was not offended; he generally seemed to have forgotten that he was at her house. Pushing the plate away from him, he spun the green piece before his eyes, saying: “Okay, okay, very interesting...” “Apparently, I’m used to this,” Vera thought and shrugged: “You can take it all...” “No, that’s enough,” he tore it off. strip of a paper bag, wrapped his slice and immediately stood up hastily, “I have to go, thank you.” Near the door, he took a jar out of his down jacket pocket, carefully put a paper wad of cheese there and looked at it without any embarrassment: “Vera, you’ll forgive me, but I urgently need to go.” “Of course,” Vera nodded vaguely, thinking that he most likely was not a fire victim, but simply with a gimmick.
The next day, returning home from her mother’s, Vera found a neatly folded piece of paper in the door crack. Entering her room, she unfolded the note and read a few lines written in large, sweeping handwriting. “Vera, I had to leave. Thanks again for the treat. I'll be there after NYE. Pavel” She re-read it again and, involuntarily going to the window, looked around the yard. There was no one in the corner. Then she thought for a while, then dialed Tatyana and, apologizing, said that she would not come again.
Once upon a time, in more prosperous years, Tyumen was decorated better for the New Year holidays. According to the authorities' orders, facades and courtyards were everywhere illuminated with colored lanterns and garlands. Then Sobyanin was transferred to the golden-domed one, and under subsequent governors the city began to look somewhat more modest. But still, a tradition was started and many active residents, together with management companies, decorated their yards themselves. The neighboring yard, where Vera passed on her way back from work, was just like that - with colored tinsel hanging on the trees and garlands blinking over the entrances. Walking along the sidewalk there, covered in traces of New Year's firecrackers and fireworks, Vera again saw the familiar striped down jacket. Pavel sat with his head down on a bench at the far entrance and seemed to be dozing. After a little hesitation, she came closer, and he, apparently hearing footsteps, turned around. Vera shuddered - an old grandfather with deep wrinkles on his face was looking at her from under the hood. True, he looked quite friendly. “Sorry,” she shook her head in confusion, “there was a man walking around... in the same jacket...” Without finishing, she quickly turned and walked on. “So this... well, guess it, our Pashka took it,” the old man’s voice caught up with her in the back, “now he doesn’t really have his own winter one... he lives in this right now, like him, I keep forgetting... in Milan, wow!” “In Milan...” Vera stopped. - who, Pavel? “Yeah,” the grandfather confirmed happily, “he saves their cheese there.” He’s a scientist with us, a candidate in biology! He said the last words louder and looked around, as if regretting that no one else could hear him. Vera definitely didn’t understand anything. “And he only comes here to give lectures,” the grandfather continued, clearly rejoicing at the opportunity to talk. - To our university. All about this mold... and at home I’ve already filled the whole balcony with my cans. But he won’t let me throw it away... but what should I give him? He'll arrive soon...
At home, Vera walked up to the sleeping ladybug, lightly tapped her fingernail on the glass and smiled.
(C) robertyumen
Jokes for the New Year, comic poems
The New Year has come to visit us. And on the entrance door there is a code! And the stranger was unfamiliar with the sophisticated combination lock. Stuck under the door for an hour! Knocked, knocked twelve times! And he turned into another entrance - Visits with them and eats buns.
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He crept up unnoticed With tangerines in his hands, Declared authoritatively, That without a Christmas tree there’s no way! And he introduced himself impressively, Something like: “Bond... James Bond.” Wait, I remember exactly, He said: “Year... New Year.” He said: “I bring health, joyful, carefree laughter, happiness, a sea of inspiration and brilliant success.” Almost tearfully he asked me to scribble your address, so wait for the New Year to arrive on your doorstep with a bag of gifts.
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The hat is tousled. Barks at grandfather, Yard mongrel. With an unsteady gait, he walks along the road. Leaning on the staff, the legs are entwined. He stumbles and falls. He got up and walked. And he fell again. Crawling on all fours. The Snow Maiden is nearby, like a devoted guardian. He shouts at his grandfather: “You’re an old drunk!” The Snow Maiden's grandfather replies to reproach: - In Russia, everyone celebrates the holiday like this! To whom does the holiday come, and to whom does it creep... We know one thing, the New Year has come!
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I opened my eyes, but I can’t see anything, I’m trying to take a breath, but I can’t, What’s wrong with my mouth? - he is also immobilized. Damn, you wouldn’t wish this on your enemy! In a panic, I try to understand what is happening, What kind of trouble could happen to me, My memory does not find an answer to this, It seems that my brain is not on the right track now. I tensed all my muscles, stood up and oh, miracle! I see again; I see a table, a window, a chair, And then I realized, when I saw the dish in front of me, That on New Year’s Day I fell asleep in a salad!
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All adults are big fools, I established it from a very early age, But I couldn’t bear to give away the secret I had never guessed.
Let my mother believe in what I believe, Santa Claus brings us gifts, And pretend stupidity is not concealed, I shout in the morning under the tree: “I brought it!”
We must look like simpletons, After all, Someone gave them power over us. When they realize that we are smart, They will immediately stop putting gifts.
Convincing them is a piece of cake. In a month we will be exactly six. All adults are big fools, And every day it becomes clearer that this is so.
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Snow Maidens! You are a true miracle! Support for Santa Claus's affairs! By God, I won’t grab your chest, I’ll just look after you with tenderness. That Santa - he has only reindeer, Here is our Frost - he is a true man. And even if the Snow Maiden is not always appreciated, But only with her the ancient holiday is alive!
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There is a round dance around the Christmas tree. New Year is coming!!! We pour champagne like a river - New Year is always like this... We break glasses, tear garlands. Let's have a blast!
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I wish you a New Year to live without tears and without worries. Set the table, smile, and have fun with enthusiasm!
Believe in Santa Claus and great miracles. After all, fate is not only prose, Life, like sweetness, is good!
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On this New Year's night, Snow is blowing on the street, And in the flooded hut, there is a noisy party: Santa Claus lights candles, Snow Maiden performs a dance, And the deer drink vodka, Sing songs merrily!
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A magical, wonderful holiday is on the doorstep, And the door to the New Year is already open, Leave all worries in the year gone by, And believe only in the best and good. Let the days be beautiful and bright, And every new day of the calendar will be remembered with happy gifts, And every moment will not be lived in vain. Let dear people be nearby And those whom we love dearly, Friends, colleagues, loved ones, relatives, Their wisdom and reliable shoulder. Let your wishes come true to the clink of glasses, And the wheel of fate will give you many years to come. Let the house be filled with comfort and warmth, I wish you great victories in the New Year! Reach the cherished peaks, without a doubt, Catch success in the cycle of days, Let the mood be cheerful in the New Year, And the laughter and sincerity of friends nearby!
Funny New Year's dialogue at the Christmas tree (for schoolchildren)
A funny New Year's dialogue at the Christmas tree for schoolchildren is a mini-scene that will give all guests of the event a great mood. It is better to include the number at the beginning of the event, since it shows one of the stages of preparation for the New Year.
This dialogue takes place near an undecorated Christmas tree. You can prepare a second Christmas tree as a prop for the scene, or use the main one, and then invite the guests to decorate it together.
Requisites:
- Christmas tree;
- Christmas decorations - red ones are a priority.
- a tablet box packed in festive paper.
Characters:
- Mom is a woman in a robe, perhaps with curlers.
- The son is a schoolboy - either an adult dressed as a teenager, or a student himself (with headphones).
The son sits on a chair with headphones on, listening to music. Mom comes in.
Mom: So, why isn’t the Christmas tree decorated yet?
The son doesn't hear. The mother slaps the head so hard that the headphones fly off and repeats the phrase.
Son : You didn’t say that she needed to be dressed up.
Mom : As if it’s not clear? There, there are toys nearby. You need to hang them on the Christmas tree.
Son : It’s not clear! What if something has changed, and this year there is no need to dress up.
Mom : Stupid!
Son : Well, mom. Why decorate if these toys will have to be removed later.
Mom : Why do you go to bed dressed then? In the morning you still have to get dressed.
Son : So you don’t allow it, do you?
Mom : Son, go decorate the Christmas tree. After all, where will Santa Claus put the gifts?
Son : (gestures that he shot himself) Mom, you can get anyone.
Mom : (goes to decorate the Christmas tree, hangs several red balls in one place) Okay, I’ll decorate it myself. Let me breathe in the holiday atmosphere! Then Santa Claus will give me a brand new tablet.
Son : (gets up enthusiastically and takes a Christmas ball) I wanted to decorate the Christmas tree.
Mom : Why are you up? Why aren’t you happy with this already?
Son : I also want to breathe in the holiday atmosphere. You infected me.
Mom : Yes, I’ll dress it up myself. There is no need to interfere with me.
Son : (he sees his wrapped gift among the toys - a tablet, grabs it and jumps for joy). Wow, mom, thank you!
Mom : Thank you and that's it?
Son : (makes a deep bow).
Mom : (snatches the tablet from her hands and puts it under the tree) Let it lie here. Let's decorate the Christmas tree, then you will find him under it.
Son : What nonsense. But Mom.
Mom : You yourself are delusional. These are traditions!
Mom : (takes out a Christmas tree toy with delight) Son, this is the same ball! Look! Do you remember? You chose it yourself when you were little.
Son : (indifferently goes to his chair and begins to put on headphones).
Mom : (sternly) Well, look who you told!
Son : (stands up dissatisfied and looks at the ball) Looked!
Mom : Now tell me, do you remember this touching story?
Son : I remember, mom, let me listen to music.
Mom : Tell me. Don't disturb the festive atmosphere!
Son : AAAA! OK. (reluctantly tells) I was 5 years old, we went to the supermarket. You were distracted by tangerines. You turn around and I’m gone. You got scared, then you saw me in the window of a plane that was flying to another country.
Mom : Very funny! To another country. Tell me how it was! I’ve been keeping this red ball for years. These are memories.
Son : Okay. You saw me in the Christmas toys department. I held this ball and said loudly: “What a cool little gang.” And everyone around laughed. And you immediately put it in the basket.
Mom : Yes! (happy mother hugs her son, who rolls his eyes) How I love this story. Go hang up your cool gang.
Son : I hate this story. (goes to hang up the ball)
Mom : Where are you hanging it? Don’t you see, there are only red ones hanging here anyway.
Son : Damn, you still have a system here!
Mom : Swear at me again here! Okay, let's quickly wrap the tree up and go get ready. Soon dad will come for us, we will go to Aunt Lena to celebrate the New Year.
Son : Can I not go?
Mom : You won't be left alone. Why are you so upset? Let's get together with the whole family! There are children there too. Bear, Sashka! Hang out with them.
Son : Misha is 6 years old, Sasha is 3 years old. Just a dream party! (rolls eyes)
Mom : I don’t know anything! New Year is a family holiday. You will celebrate it with us. So come on, let's get ready.
Mom and son move away. Then the presenter offers to fully decorate the Christmas tree (optional).
Author – Yulia Doronina especially for the site “Top, top, boot”.
Jokes for the New Year, congratulations with poems
Happy New Year with a new happiness! It will definitely be a wonderful year! May Santa Claus bring you Happiness and a cartload of money!
So that the champagne flows, What is planned comes true. So that from the 1st suddenly the salary increases!
Every woman gets a man, Every man gets a car, You can even have two, So you can give one to your wife!
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
On New Year's Day I wish you not to forget who lives where, to remember your own name and to remain unharmed,
Don’t drop your honor and pride, Don’t dance without pants, Don’t fall asleep under a lush fir tree, But get to bed!
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
It's time for fairy tales, New Year is on the doorstep! Let it dispel worries and increase your income.
May he fulfill all desires, May he bestow love. Both success and health will attract you like a magnet.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
New Year's snowflake Caught on the glass, Santa Claus congratulated us all and wished everyone well.
I also want to add, So that next year We won’t know about sorrows, We won’t hear about trouble.
Let the misfortunes take away And carry away the old year, Well, the New Year brings good luck and success to everyone.
May the smiles not melt, May love live in our hearts, And may joy and happiness be enough for us for the whole year.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
On New Year's Day I wish you Drink wine and not get drunk, Go to resorts more often, And have a blast.
Money in all pockets And loans so as not to know. Do stupid things more often, win lotteries!
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
“Why do I need so much happiness?” Be surprised in the coming year, Let bad weather pass by, Get rid of nonsense from your head. “Well, what to spend so much money on?” Let one question torment you. Well, don’t take all everyday problems seriously!
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
I wish you to have so much fun, So as not to fall under the Christmas tree, So as not to fall asleep in the salad, To really have a party! So that your head remains clear, And life has always been wonderful! More financial freedom, Love, warmth! And happy New Year!
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Today we are all at the parade! And the chimes are striking! Let everyone be in chocolate! May there be success ahead! Let the ladies be fashionistas! Brutal - every gentleman! And there will be a very happy year, an example for all future years!
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
My congratulations will be extremely short: Let it be cool in the New Year, Forget about the word “bad”, So that you don’t count the money, And so that you don’t eat the goodies. Have fun and enjoy, Just smile all year long!
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Don't get drunk on New Year's Day and don't lie under the tree! Don't put your face in the salad. Pretend that you are very happy! Wait for the chimes to strike, Stagger the banner... Tire your loved ones: There are still many days off - You'll make up for it in passing! Well, good luck! Happy New Year!
