30 rules of etiquette that will be useful to everyone who is expecting guests

• You must not be late for the holiday; this will demonstrate disrespect for the owners of the house. At the same time, it is not advisable to arrive at the party earlier than the specified time, in which case you may take the hosts by surprise. It is best to be punctual and arrive at the party on time (or a few minutes late).
• It is worth taking care of choosing an outfit in advance. It must be appropriate to the situation and be neat and tidy. By arriving in well-chosen smart clothes, you show your respect for the heroes of the occasion.
• It is impolite to come to visit without a gift. Even if you are going to a spontaneous, unplanned friendly party, buy a bottle of good wine, fruit or sweets. A gift given for a birthday should bring pleasure to the birthday person. It should not be too expensive - this can put a person in an awkward position.
• During the holiday, you need to behave freely and naturally. You shouldn’t sit in silence all evening, forcing your hosts to entertain you. Try to maintain a general conversation and create a relaxed and friendly atmosphere. Do not talk about your problems and difficulties at the table, remember that you have come to celebrate. Leave all unpleasant thoughts outside this house.
• Don't forget about time. Don't stay up late at a party. You always need to leave (as well as arrive) on time.
• When saying goodbye to the hosts, do not forget to thank them for the warm welcome and, if desired, invite them to pay you a return visit.

Following these rules is quite simple. If you adopt them, others will perceive you as a polite and cultured person who knows how to behave with dignity.

How to behave during a festive dinner?

Rules of conduct when visiting at a table are a special section of etiquette that is fraught with a lot of subtleties. Not everyone knows about these nuances. Of course, in a simple friendly company you will not be required to know how to use dozens of knives and forks intended for various dishes. But, of course, you should still know the basic rules:

• Don't reach across the table for the treat you like. Ask your neighbor to give it to you.
• When talking to your neighbor at the table, do not turn your entire body towards him, but only your head. In general, when sitting at the table, you should move as little as possible so as not to cause inconvenience to other guests.
• It is uncivil to criticize the food served while visiting.
• The spoon must be held very carefully, filling it so that it reaches your mouth without spilling a single drop. If you are using a fork and knife, hold the fork in your left hand and the knife in your right. If you are only given a fork, you need to hold it in your right hand. At the same time, when you chew, the utensils in your hands should be lowered down.
• When you have finished your meal, the cutlery must be placed parallel to each other on the plate. This is a sign to the hostess that you have already eaten, and your plate can be removed from the table.
• Often during the holidays, awkward situations occur when one of the guests spills a glass of wine or breaks a cup. If you find yourself in this situation, politely apologize to the owners, but do not focus on it. Before leaving, you can once again express your regret and apologize.

Of course, these are not all the rules that polite behavior at the table implies. Etiquette is a rather complex science that contains a lot of subtleties. But knowing these basic points, you will be able to behave competently at a party, avoiding awkward situations.

Etiquette for children

It is very important not only to observe all the laws of polite behavior when visiting, but also to teach these laws to your children. From an early age, you should explain to them how to behave when coming to visit. In fact, the rules of behavior at a party for children are the same as for adults. True, it is better to present them to the child in a simplified form, so that he does not get confused in a huge number of restrictions and prohibitions. For example, if your child is going to his classmate's birthday party, explain to him in an accessible way a few important rules. For example, tell them that when visiting, you should behave kindly and modestly, not touch other people’s things without permission, and not take charge of someone else’s apartment. At the table, you cannot rock on your chair, talk with your mouth full, or lick a knife or fork. When communicating with other guests, you should behave in a friendly and welcoming manner, taking part in all general entertainment and respecting both the host of the holiday and all guests.

You should not tire your child too much with false rules that he is not able to remember. Such etiquette training is unlikely to be effective. Try to convey information to him as simply and accessible as possible. And remember that the best way to instill in your child the basics of polite and cultural behavior is through personal example.

Let's learn how to properly set the table for a birthday. How to beautifully decorate a children's birthday in this article.

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Guest etiquette requires knowing who, how and when to invite. Guests are invited to a crowded reception 7-10 days in advance. At the same time, you need to indicate the exact time; it would be nice to add the reason for the future meeting - it could be a diploma defense, another significant event that guests should be aware of so as not to get into trouble. If the reason for the invitation is someone’s birthday, then it is usually not mentioned, assuming that the guests will figure it out themselves. If the slow-witted guest is interested, then you can voice who the hero of the occasion is.

You can invite them for coffee 1-3 days in advance. If we invite 3-4 people, we can agree on a meeting time with them. Usually this is the second half of the day, closer to dinner. Relatives are most often invited to rare Sunday dinners. The invitation can be announced over the phone or in person, or in writing. In the case when young people invite older people, polite guest etiquette requires this to be done in person. The written version is one of the most extreme.

Misunderstandings often arise when dividing acquaintances into groups in order to receive them on different days. There is nothing wrong with this - modern apartments cannot accommodate a large number of people, and groups can be formed according to interests. But sometimes suspicious guests consider this a division into “best” and “worst”. Wise hosts do not advertise to their guests who they had yesterday or who will come the day after tomorrow. At the same time, they will try to ensure that the same company does not include people who, for various reasons, cannot stand each other’s company. One of the rules of etiquette at a party says that you should not invite a third time a guest who has not accepted your invitation twice before.

Etiquette for receiving guests

The owner usually greets guests at the door. It is not at all necessary for the hostess to leave the kitchen into the hallway to greet each guest. The exception is the arrival of a particularly honored guest. It is the responsibility of the host to help guests undress and lead them into the room. If the hostess was sitting at that time, she needs to get up and take a few steps towards the guests.

Do not offer slippers to guests - this is a sign of bad taste. Smartly dressed women will look ridiculous in them, and so will a man in elegant trousers or a suit. Hosts should also change clothes before receiving guests. If the owner is without a jacket and tie, then his shirt should be clean and well ironed. The housewife keeps her clothes and head in order; when leaving the kitchen, she takes off her apron. Lipstick should not leave marks on other people's cheeks, glasses or glasses.

If your only guests are late, wait for them until they arrive. Some guests manage to be two hours late, and according to the etiquette of receiving guests, the hosts do not have the right to leave the house. An exception may be the vague agreement contained in the word “let’s look.” Then you can stop waiting for guests after an hour and a half.

Sudden guest

If a guest comes suddenly, when both spouses are at home, the host takes care of the visitor, and the hostess can go out for a while to put herself in order. When the mistress of the house is alone, she does not leave the guest alone for more than three minutes. She doesn’t need to completely change her clothes - it’s enough to be natural, not to fuss, even if she was caught in the middle of cleaning. We calmly turn off the vacuum cleaner and remove things from the chair on which we want to seat the guest. It's enough. Laundry laid out for washing is a common everyday occurrence; you shouldn’t focus on it.

How to seat guests?

The place of the hostess at the head of the table is not always convenient or justified. Based on how the table is located in the room. The most honorable places for guests are considered to be those that are most conveniently located and do not require unnecessary disturbance; it is most advisable to seat guests facing the front door. The host sits closer to the guests in order to look after and entertain them, and the hostess sits on the opposite edge of the table to provide herself with the opportunity to freely go to the kitchen.

Guest etiquette requires that guests be seated alternating between men and women. But even if there were more of them, you should still try to place men between women. At the same time, we seat the spouses separately, and the lovers next to each other.

It is worth emphasizing that the host must choose the optimal place for himself in order to be close to the guests and at the same time be able to freely leave the table. The main thing is not to make a problem out of it and make sure that everyone is comfortable.

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Valentina Vasilyeva 03/23/2011 Reproduction of article materials without a link to the site is prohibited!

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Rules of conduct at a corporate event

Recently, spending time together or organizing festive corporate events has become an integral part of corporate culture. This allows, in a relaxed atmosphere, throwing away the usual formalities and conventions, to establish personal contacts and, against this positive background, to form and strengthen a sense of involvement in a common cause.

Corporate parties bring the team together, add pride to the company and confidence in its stability. In addition, corporate holidays serve:

• increasing the collective spirit of the company;
• relieving stress among employees;
• relieving tension in interpersonal relationships that has accumulated during work;
• improving employee mood;
• development of their creative potential.

Very often, the office manager or the manager’s secretary has to be responsible for organizing a corporate holiday at an enterprise. In order for you to cope with this task, the magazine has repeatedly published materials on where to go regarding holding a corporate party, what type of event to choose, etc. In our practical lesson, we will try to tell you how to behave correctly at a corporate party.

Let's check if you know these rules? Try to answer our questions.

1. Why are corporate parties held?
2. For what reasons are corporate events held?
3. Why don't some employees go to corporate events?
4. Is it possible to refuse to attend a corporate event?
5. What determine the rules of conduct at a corporate party?
6. How to dress correctly for a corporate party?
7. How should you greet your acquaintances in the hall?
8. Are cases of insubordination allowed at such holidays? Or does the boss remain out of reach?
9. What is customary to drink at such parties?
10. Could there be any serious trouble for employees who did not show their best side at the party?
11. Should you go to a corporate party with your boyfriend?
12. What topics are not recommended to be discussed at the table?
13. Why does etiquette not recommend starting a conversation when serving and eating hot dishes?
14. Is it possible to smoke in a restaurant?
15. How to behave while dancing?

To correctly answer the questions asked, we recommend that you read the information below.

We organize a corporate event

There are plenty of reasons why corporate holidays are held, but the most common are New Year or Christmas. The chosen occasion should be played out appropriately both in the design of the room and in the party scenario.

Whether this New Year will remain in our memory or it will be another boring banquet - everything will depend on the organizers of the holiday. Nowadays companies prefer to turn to specialists in organizing holidays. If there is no money for this, you can do it on your own, provided that in your team there is a person with organizational skills and creative imagination. The most important thing is to decide on the type of event.

This could be a banquet with a cultural and entertainment program; sports festival with games and competitions; a costumed masquerade ball on the theme of the history of the company; attractions with hidden techniques for identifying informal leaders in a team; shows on the topic of the company's work, etc.

At a corporate event, you should not get carried away with “production” topics. Of course, the evening should include congratulations to various departments of the company and awards for the best employees, but still, you should not turn the New Year into a reporting and re-election meeting at the end of the year.

At the same time, the author had to attend such corporate parties, where congratulations to the employees on behalf of the head of the company were read out by a guest artist. I think this is wrong. Employees want to see their top manager at least once a year and hear from him about the state of affairs and development prospects of the company.

Dress code

Requirements for appearance at a corporate party (dress code), first of all, depend on the level of the event and its location, as well as on the philosophy of the company.

The main requirement for clothing: it must correspond to the theme of the evening and the venue.

If a corporate event is held at a bowling club, then evening dress for the ladies would be inappropriate. If a company rents a hall in a restaurant, you cannot come in jeans and a sweater - this will be disrespectful to other guests. With clothes for the holiday, you should emphasize the solemnity of the moment.

The matter is simplified if the dress code is indicated in the invitation. It may indicate that you should wear an evening dress, a cocktail dress, etc. Compliance with this requirement is mandatory. Ladies' toilets should be elegant but modest: the ability to combine elegance with simplicity is most valued.

“On New Year’s Day, we always warn our staff that we expect them to be dressed festively at the evening,” says Elena Petrova, HR director at DHL, “but then, of course, everyone decides for themselves what to wear.”

Recently, conceptual parties and masquerade balls have become fashionable, where it is initially assumed that all employees will be dressed in unusual costumes corresponding to the theme of the holiday.

So, if a company is organizing a “cowboy evening,” then everyone, including top managers, is recommended to wear jeans, plaid shirts and cowboy hats.

How to behave at a corporate event?

There are no strict norms and rules of behavior at a corporate party, but each person has his own “internal censor”. Think about it: it’s not your friends who are present at the party, but your colleagues, your boss. Therefore, you need to control yourself. Many people mistakenly believe that a corporate party is an opportunity to communicate with colleagues and management in an informal setting, to relax, to be less restrained, and to open up in ways unexpected for employees.

How a person behaves at a corporate party can determine his career advancement and even his personal life, because working people often find their happiness among partners and colleagues.

From the point of view of the rules of corporate parties, an important issue is the start and end time of the event. For a buffet, like most receptions without table seating, you don’t have to arrive at the very beginning.

The first guests arrive within 15–30 minutes. It is considered normal to stay at the reception for up to one and a half hours.

At the same time, being late for a corporate event is considered an error. Employees cannot come to the holiday later than their manager, especially the first person.

Imagine the scene: the manager congratulates the team, the door opens and an employee enters. It doesn’t matter for what reason he was late - this is disrespect for the manager and colleagues.

The departure of guests occurs in the reverse order: management leaves first, followed by the rest of the employees in order of seniority.

You should remember that at a holiday you find yourself under the gaze of numerous glances from employees, managers, and guests.

The main thing is not to get carried away by flirting and control your relationship with alcohol. If you behave incorrectly, the very next day you will become the subject of gossip and discussion from other people.

Alcohol is a particularly delicate issue. Of course, a certain amount of it is necessary to create a relaxed atmosphere; not a single event can do without it. At the same time, there should be no excess alcohol at corporate events, as this indicates a low corporate culture in the company.

It is very important to behave correctly with your boss. Here the rules of etiquette developed in ancient times can be useful.

Egypt several thousand years ago. Vizier Ptahhotep (c. 2500 BC) in his book “Wisdom” gave the following advice: “When you are invited to dinner by an important person, accept what is offered, thanking him for his generosity. Contact him, but without persistence and not too often. Don't talk to him if he doesn't talk to you. Since you do not yet know what could cause his displeasure, speak when he invites you, let your speech be pleasant to him. Don't argue if he doesn't have time to answer. If he reveals his ignorance, do not shame him, but treat him delicately. Don’t talk too much, don’t stop his speech, don’t attack him with your conversation, don’t tire him so that next time he won’t avoid communicating with you...”

There is one more problem. Every year on the eve of the New Year holidays, spouses face a dilemma: whether to go or not to go with their other half to a corporate party. Some are embarrassed to tell their colleagues about their personal lives, others are afraid that their loved ones will not find a common language with their colleagues or will make some mistake.

Russian corporate event planners say their clients rarely approve of their employees' wives and husbands attending the party. The main reason for this is the peculiarities of the corporate culture of the Russian business community. However, there is also an opposite point of view, when it is believed that corporations that bring people together with their families maintain a normal psychological climate at work.

Reception-banquet

If a corporate holiday is organized in the form of a banquet in a restaurant , this determines special rules of conduct. Your demeanor at the table says a lot about you and the kind of worker you are. It shows how carefully you pay attention to the details that must be an integral part of the life of any employee who wants to achieve and maintain a competitive level.

We list the rules that we recommend following during the banquet:

• Please wait in the lobby for others before being seated unless you have been asked not to do so.
• If you are seated first, wait for others and do not order a drink.
• Order only the main meal (salad, main course and drink). If the organizer offers an aperitif or dessert, order it.
• The napkin should be placed on your lap after everyone is seated at the table. It can be folded in half. At the end of the meal, the napkin should be placed on the table to the right of the cutlery.
• Before you start eating, you should wait until everyone at the table has been served.
• Offer shared dishes to others first and only then serve food for yourself.
• The man pays attention to and cares for the lady sitting on the right.
• Pass food to the right, counterclockwise. This arrangement follows the table seating rules, with the main guest sitting to your right.
• According to international protocol, toasts are not made at receptions. However, according to Russian traditions, toasts are almost obligatory.

The first toast is given by the head of the enterprise.

• If you stop using cutlery from time to time, then place it only on the edge of the plate, but not on the tablecloth.
• To let the waiter know that you are taking a break, simply place the knife with the handle to the right, the tip facing you, and the fork with the handle to the left and the tines facing up.
• If you need to leave the table for a short time, do so while changing dishes.

If you find yourself in this situation, place your napkin on the table to the left of your cutlery. This is another sign to the waiter that you haven't finished eating yet.

• At the end of the meal, both utensils are placed on the plate in parallel (for five hours).

How to handle cutlery?

Sometimes the difficulty for “newbies” is caused by the large number of cutlery and glasses that are on the table. For a hint, let's give an example of table setting at a banquet (in the picture). When setting the table, it is customary to place no more than three forks and three knives at a time. The remaining knives, forks and other additional serving items are served, if necessary, with the corresponding dishes.

At a banquet (or reception with seating), the principle of “queuing” applies to the use of cutlery. They begin to use the utensils lying on the edge, further from the plate, and hold them in the hand on which side they lay. Knives, forks and spoons closest to the plate are used last. Nowadays in restaurants (even expensive ones) the cutlery is wrapped in a napkin.

The specified number of cutlery on the table almost never happens in reality: dishes are served alternately, and used cutlery is removed. In addition, once you have placed your order, the waiter can remove any cutlery or glasses you do not need.

What are the service rules for seated receptions?

In our country, two types of services are accepted at such appointments:

• “to the table”, when all snacks and dishes are on the table;
• “out of the box” when waiters serve guests. The latter type of service is common abroad.

The waiters bring dishes that need to be taken from the tray by the guests on the left side, and the guests place them on their plates using serving forks and spoons. The food is taken with a spoon, which is in the left hand, and held with a fork, which is held in the right hand. You cannot use your own spoons and forks for these purposes. You should take only one serving of appetizer (dish), since these servings can be prepared strictly according to the number of guests. There is no need to put several cold appetizers and salads on your plate at the same time.

The dishes, which the waiter himself lays out, are presented on the right side.

Typical mistakes of “table” behavior

The rules of behavior at the table are dictated by considerations of convenience and expediency, hygienic and aesthetic requirements.

• Women are not recommended to powder themselves at the table, look in the mirror or apply lipstick.
• You must sit straight at the table, without leaning your elbows, and do not put your elbows on the table.
• You should compare the rate of food absorption with your dining companions. If you eat too quickly or too slowly, people around you will start to take notice of your manners.

Behavior at a banquet is very dangerous:

• Showing that you don't know how to behave at the table will undermine your prestige.
• Talk too much to your interlocutor about the details of your personal life: this will destroy your professional image.
• Drinking too much alcohol: People may think that you are not doing well in this area.

Reception “a la buffet”

At corporate events, as in business life, in recent years the reception “a la buffet” . At a buffet table, everyone eats standing.

You can invite significantly more people to a buffet than to a sit-down dinner held in the same room. Most business people value democracy, mobility of communication, and a less official atmosphere that characterize the rules and regulations of this form of reception. Employees, not bound by the seating arrangement at the table or its hierarchy, as at official celebrations, are free in their choice of location and interesting interlocutors.

A buffet reception creates excellent conditions for its participants to make new acquaintances, to consolidate and deepen business and personal relationships. At receptions without seating, you should also be able to behave with dignity, combining the obligatory observance of etiquette with pleasant ease.

• Do not, taking advantage of the situation, impose your communication on your elders.
• You should not discuss sensitive political, religious, national issues, as well as your personal problems.
• A conversation with a specific interlocutor should not last more than 10 minutes, since the interlocutor you are interested in may have his own plans for contacts that evening.
• Guests serve themselves - they come to the tables, take a plate in their left hand, put a fork on it, pick up snacks and move away so that others can then come up.

To ensure that your right hand is free, for example, for shaking hands, it is wise not to overfill your plate with snacks, but leave room on it for a glass.

• If you want to try another appetizer, you just need to go back to the table, take a clean plate and fork. Remember that a stack of plates exists for the purpose of changing them and not mixing salad, fish and meat dishes on them.
• Used plates and glasses are either taken away by the waiters, or guests leave them on specially prepared trays and tables.

To smoke or not to smoke?

In many restaurants, smoking is prohibited in the hall and there are no ashtrays on the table.

In France, violation of this ban entails a fine, not only for the smoker, but also for the owner of the establishment.

If smoking is allowed in a cafe or restaurant, then you need to ask permission to smoke from your neighbors at the table and smoke only after dessert. With the mutual consent of everyone sitting at the table, it is permissible to smoke before eating. However, according to the rules, no one smokes while someone present is eating.

How to behave while dancing?

In some cases, the corporate evening scenario involves dancing (disco), during which it is very important to behave correctly. If the team is predominantly young people, then the dances are mostly fast. They assume that the dancers are in a general circle or several groups. Here it is important to try not to be pretentious in your movements and not to offend other dancers. If a girl is dancing, she should not have anything in her hands. I had to watch how, next to a group of dancing employees, there was a man literally hung with handbags. When going to a corporate event, try to make sure that your handbag does not get in the way.

If this is a buffet reception, then either dance with your friends in turn, or leave your handbag on the windowsill of one of the windows; in extreme cases, it is permissible to place the handbags in the center of the circle of dancers.

If you are dancing in a couple, you should remember the distance between the man and the woman, and do not press too close to your partner. Both men and women must remember that they are not alone and are in the field of view of others.

Despite all the advantages of corporate events, such a traditional means as a party can sometimes have the opposite, negative effect. If the company regularly organizes such meetings, then, apparently, everything is in order with the team spirit. And if there is no such tradition, then an unexpected event can only aggravate the situation.

Universal rules of behavior at corporate events

As a conclusion, we present several simple but fairly universal rules of behavior at corporate parties, which can serve as the key to a good holiday and unclouded impressions after it:

• Do not refuse to attend the holiday without exceptional reasons. Even if personal circumstances seem important to you, not all colleagues and managers will understand them.

It is as a result of such refusals that the impression of employee disloyalty to the company, corporate values ​​and superiors is created. Take part in a corporate party, be fun. You don't have to stay until the end.

• Do not overuse a loose clothing style. A shocking appearance at such events attracts attention, but, alas, in a negative sense.

Corporate events are not a competition in the depth of neckline or intensity of cologne. It's much better to demonstrate your good taste.

• Don't discuss business issues unnecessarily. The ability to disconnect from everyday work problems at corporate parties should be learned - it is not as simple as it seems at first glance. So you will have to make some effort not to be considered a bore among your colleagues and superiors.
• Don't talk about salary increases or career growth - this is the most common mistake, especially among young employees.

The impression of permissiveness, informal contact with management and alcohol push many to solve personal problems, which is guaranteed to lead to the opposite results.

• Don't abuse alcohol. The meaning of this rule is hardly worth explaining. In addition to the known reasons, we note that drinking mineral water is much healthier for your business image than something stronger.

In conclusion, I would like to wish that your corporate holiday is not overshadowed by any unpleasant moments and that you are able to show your best side in this seemingly completely unofficial environment. Good luck to you, happiness and success in the New Year.

E.L. Maslova Source: Journal “Directory of the Secretary and Office Manager”

Birthday etiquette rules

If you love giving gifts

, it means you know how to overcome your own selfishness and know how to take care of what other people need, their wishes and mood.
Giving gifts is an art
that, like any other art, can and should be learned, since it is a manifestation of a person’s inner culture. It doesn’t matter at all whether you give an expensive gift or just a cute souvenir.

Gifts are given to relatives and friends on a variety of occasions - for birthdays, name days, on the day of receiving a diploma or defending a dissertation, for a wedding, for the New Year. A gift should be an expression of our good attitude towards the person

, and holidays are a symbol of genuinely sincere relationships between people, and not a means of calming a bad conscience. The ability to give gifts anticipates the ability to love a person.

Varieties

Social events are distinguished by their focus: diplomatic, business, entertainment (entertainment).

Diplomatic. These are events that are organized according to strict rules, only for people who occupy a high position, or diplomats. Typically formal formal dinners.

Business. They are organized to communicate with business partners, strengthen the company’s image, and promote their products. This is, as a rule, a presentation of a product or service, a business reception, a business evening, and so on.

Entertainment activities. It could be a party, birthday, corporate celebration. The main goal of such parties is team unity and an informal, friendly atmosphere.

The value of a gift is not determined by its monetary value.

It is possible that the gift is needed and by the way, but the form of its presentation may turn out to be so offensive that the one to whom the gift is intended may refuse it. Giving a valuable gift is not a manifestation of human intimacy, but a symbol of material wealth. However, giving valuable gifts is not only the privilege of wealthy people; they are sometimes given by those who do not feel an inner need to bring joy to another person with a gift.

In the old days, when name days were celebrated, the hero of the occasion, without inviting anyone, invariably took care of the festive table and waited for visits from acquaintances and friends who knew about this day from the calendar. This tradition continues to this day, although people attend birthday parties by invitation only.

The gift, of course, is given to the person they came to congratulate.

If your friend is not throwing a special holiday party, but under similar circumstances he himself gave a gift, you should take care not to remain in debt.

The most popular gift is flowers. They always please and always come in handy, but not every time you can limit yourself to just a beautiful bouquet. Especially if at one time you received another gift from today’s birthday boy along with flowers.

Mysterious event code

In addition to the note about the dress code, other symbols can be found in the invitation (very often in English). The most common of them:

• st (from the Latin sine tempore) - which means to arrive at exactly the appointed time, without delay;
• ct (from Latin cum tempore) – it is possible to be late, but no more than 15 minutes;
• RSVP (from French Re`pon se Sil Vous Plait) - means a request to respond and indicate your intention to attend. To ignore this request means to violate social etiquette. Moreover, you need to answer on the eve of the celebration.

In addition, if the invitation does not have a note “for two persons” or the number of those present is not specified at all, then it is better to come unaccompanied.

It would be appropriate to bring your companion only to an entertainment event: a charity evening, concert, dinner, ball.

How to give flowers - wrapped or not?

In this case, ancient manuals of good manners gave the following advice: if, having arrived at a celebration, you present flowers in the hallway, you can give them in a package, but if one of the family members opens the door for you and you enter the room with flowers, then remove the paper and present the bouquet to the hero of the occasion without it. Obviously, similar advice can be accepted today. By the way, in general we can only talk about packaging if it is aesthetically pleasing. Don't forget to present the bouquet with the flowers facing up, and not the other way around. Flowers can also be given in a pot.

If you are sending flowers delivered from a store, include a note with your wishes in the basket or inside the bouquet.

Elderly men or at work can be given flowers to their boss on their birthday; under the same circumstances, it is not customary to give flowers to young men.

You should not give expensive gifts to friends or acquaintances. They are only permissible among close relatives. In relatively recent times, it was considered a sign of special cordiality to give friends something of one’s own making. Nowadays, this tradition is gradually losing its former popularity. However, even today everyone is pleased to receive as a gift beautiful gloves, a skillfully knitted scarf or a trinket carved from wood - objects made by the hands of our friends.

Socializing at a party

The rules of holiday etiquette state that when you come to a celebration, you need to be able to adapt to the general emotional tone and mood of the company. It is considered bad manners to stand out either with intense emotionality or, on the contrary, with a bad mood. It is best to stick to the “golden mean” and, within reason, restrain emotions and control feelings. Representatives of the stronger sex should address new female acquaintances as “you”; Only a woman can afford to switch to “you” in relation to a man.

It is acceptable when older people address younger ones as “you”; however, girls should address women who are older than them as “you.” As for close people, they can choose any convenient form of communication among themselves. At the same time, it will not be difficult for them to find topics for conversation - it is much more difficult to do this with new acquaintances. It is better to start a conversation with them with neutral topics - for example, about the weather and the holiday itself. At celebrations, it is better to avoid sensitive topics and not talk about politics, money, social problems and difficulties at work. Telling jokes at the very beginning of acquaintance is also considered bad manners. But telling a good parable or story during a conversation at a holiday, on the contrary, will certainly interest your new interlocutors and attract attention to you.

A conversation requires the participation of at least two people. If instead your interlocutors hear only your monologue, they will probably get bored and quickly lose interest in you. Most guests participate in the discussion of a good topic, which creates a good mood at the holiday. According to the rules of etiquette, when talking at a party, you should refrain from using slang and foreign words that may make other guests feel awkward. The speech itself should be clear, calm and as literate as possible, without too categorical statements. At festive events, bragging, whispering between guests and gossip are bad manners.

Author: A. Steinert

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We do not advise women to give .

We do not advise women to give men ties; in such cases it is rarely possible to please. In the same way, a man will never guess the color of lipstick. It is better to exclude cosmetics altogether in such cases, and resort to such gifts only when the man definitely knows what perfume his lady wears.

It is better not to give animals, even the cutest ones, without discussing this idea with the birthday boy in advance. It is not always appropriate to present a painting or reproduction, especially if the degree of a person’s predilection for this kind of thing is not known exactly. It’s not so bad if, having once arrived with such a gift, you no longer visit this house, the birthday boy can, with a clear conscience, lock it in the closet, but if you do, a well-mannered owner is forced to hang on the wall a thing that he may not like at all.

Myths and truths about social events

There are a number of myths and stereotypes that have developed about events. Fact or fiction, let's try to figure it out.

Myth 1. “If you don’t want to attend the reception, you can always stay at home.”

In fact, this option should only be used in the most extreme cases. If you call, it's better to visit. Life is very multifaceted; a situation may arise when it is very necessary to go to this or that event, but invitations no longer arrive.

Myth 2. “Every event is special.”

In fact, they are all divided into important and not so important. You should not spend a lot of money and time if you are invited to a store opening or a presentation of nanopotatoes.

Myth 3. “The event is fun.”

This is absolutely not true. Many people are bored even at the most fun parties. It all depends on the person himself and his views on life, and not on the program of the event and the host’s jokes.

Myth 4. “You can eat there.”

In fact, many people choose not to eat at social events or limit themselves to light snacks. Food can crumble, fall, drinks spill, stain clothes and completely ruin your mood.

Myth 5. “It’s rude to leave first.”

This is a false misconception. Each event has a final part, after which you can leave.

"Original gifts

“Original” gifts such as a tin lamp, which usually finds peace in the attic of a new owner, or a fair plaster figurine can only be given to amateur collectors. In all other cases, such a gift will only clog the apartment. It is also not recommended to give items that you had at home, even completely new ones, because if such an item is not useful to you, it may be useless to others. Of the used items, only those that have antique value and jewelry are suitable for gifts. It is better to give the bag or umbrella that you used to a loved one without an excuse, if you want it and he needs it. On your birthday you should give even the most modest, but new thing.

Etiquette for congratulating by phone

Congratulations over the phone require delicacy. It uses the same structure, only more expanded:

1. Say hello and introduce yourself.
2. Ask if the interlocutor is comfortable talking now.
3. Congratulate.
4. Ask how things are going if it’s a close colleague, or about the project if it’s a business partner.
5. Wish you a good time.
6. Say goodbye.

In a telephone conversation, you should speak clearly, loudly and understandably. Use polite phrases if this is a manager or business partner and colloquial language if it is a close colleague. Speech etiquette for congratulations is very important, so try not to make mistakes in words and find a place where external noise will not interfere. If this is a call via instant messenger that requires an Internet connection, make sure that you have a stable network with a high connection speed.

Is it possible to give money?

Is it possible to give money? Undoubtedly, such a gift will always be useful. True, it is precisely this frank practicality that most often deprives a gift of its attractiveness. And yet, in some cases, such a gift can be practiced.

Dedicatory inscriptions on books are made in cases where the choice of book has a specific purpose that the inscription can emphasize. The inscription is not made on the page where the title of the book is repeated, but on the left - blank: it is more pleasant to keep the title page clean.

If you have a long-standing friendship with the birthday person, it can be useful to negotiate a future gift with him, especially if you intend to buy something for the household. But this is always done in the form of a proposal: does your friend, for example, prefer a tablecloth or a coffee grinder? But if she prefers a blouse, we buy a blouse. A young man should think carefully before buying his girlfriend any wardrobe items. Especially if she lives in a family. In such cases, the gift is practical, but even if unintentionally “a little more intimate” can be interpreted in an undesirable way.

Items suitable for gifting in various circumstances

Official gifts: flowers, cut or in a basket; artistically designed edition, good wine, crystal, chocolates in a box.

Wardrobe items: bag, scarf, slippers, men's shirt, gloves, socks, belt, stockings, sunglasses, dress cut, scarf.

Gastronomic: cake, good quality tea, coffee, cocoa, chocolate, oranges, homemade jam.

For a smoker: 10-20 packs of cigarettes of the type that he always smokes, or those that the birthday boy likes, but he rarely buys them; a lighter, a beautiful ashtray, for an amateur - a box of cigars.

For a foreign guest - national works of art, domestic drinks, an album with national works of art, records or music CDs.

Jewelry - natural and artificial: cufflinks, necklace, clips, bracelet, brooch. Please note that artificial jewelry should be the most fashionable.

Living gifts (as agreed with the future owner): puppy, kitten, goldfish, Siamese cat.

Cosmetics: perfume, original shaving cream, powder compact, scented bath salts, cosmetic bag.

Household gifts: travel iron, night light, kettle with whistle, tablecloth with napkins, elegant shopping bag.

All sorts of things: an album for stamps or transparencies, a good quality fountain pen, a wallet or purse (with one coin inside), good letter paper, a barometer, a compass, a watch strap, a flower vase, small items for a car, a sofa cushion, anything from sports or travel equipment, if it is known that the birthday person may be interested in such things.

Items that cannot be given as a gift

Items that are associated with illness (such as a thermometer for measuring temperature) are not suitable for gifts. Lingerie can only be given to family members; in extreme cases, such gifts are given to each other by close friends.

It is worth remembering that certain items as a gift are sometimes associated with certain prejudices. Handkerchiefs seem to encourage tears and quarrels; carnations do not bring happiness in love. People have varying degrees of impressionability, and such gifts may not bring pleasure to some individuals. However, no matter what it costs you, accept any gift with a smile.

How to get to a social event

Large formal events can have varying degrees of formality. But everyone must have an invitation. However, there are a number of ways to unofficially get to a social event. The Internet is full of information on how to do this. Here, for example, are the most common opportunities to unofficially attend an event:

• Through the service entrance. As a rule, all buildings have service or fire exits. At 90% of indoor social events, security is not provided for every door. Therefore, many fans of closed parties try to get to them in this way.
• Stealing a name. When a name is asked at the registration desk, and the person who wants to attend the event looks at the list and says whatever he likes (works in cases where the manager-receptionist does not know everyone present by sight and there are lists of guests).
• Necessary acquaintances. They penetrate through the badges of those who leave the event in advance (this method is only suitable for conferences, exhibitions, and forums).

What to give to the person who “has everything”?

Something that can be useful for long-term use. But you can give things for “temporary” use. For a man - good alcoholic drinks, for a woman - sweets, but always something beautiful and pleasant. It is advisable to be careful with gifts of a humorous nature.

The person accepting the gift must immediately, in the presence of the giver, unwrap it, praise and thank him. Place flowers in water. It is very impolite to put a gift aside without unwrapping it. The gift received should not only not be criticized, but even a hint of dissatisfaction should be revealed. If you receive what you think is an overly expensive gift, sometimes you have to say: “Thank you, but I shouldn’t accept it. Apparently, nothing can be done now, but believe me, such a gift confused me more than pleased me.” It’s not very pleasant to say such things and it’s completely unpleasant to listen to them, but if you’ve done something wrong, listen to the lesson. Returning a gift (by mail) threatens to terminate the acquaintance.

It is good if the one who received the gift tries to use it immediately in the presence of the giver.

It is not necessary to specifically thank you for written congratulations received by mail; you can do this verbally at your next meeting. You should definitely thank them for flowers sent by phone or in writing.

Women's Day - March 8th is sometimes overshadowed by family conflict. The wife is waiting at home, and the husband is congratulating the “birthday girls” at work. My advice: anyone who is late home on Women’s Day should definitely come with flowers or a bottle of perfume.

Young people invite only parents and registration witnesses. If a large number of guests are invited to the wedding, then notifications should be sent out 2 to 3 weeks in advance. Such notices can be of two types: it is either short information about the fact itself, its date and place, or detailed information with an additional invitation to come to the wedding reception. It is good to invite the elderly and most respected persons personally.

Those who received the invitation either come to the wedding or send a congratulatory telegram to the new surname of the newlyweds.

It is not customary to show up to a wedding celebration without a gift. It has long been customary to give young people household items: a traditional coffee set, a blanket for the sofa, a TV table, an electric mixer, a coffee maker. But even wedding gifts should not be too expensive; valuable things are usually given by close relatives. For acquaintances, it is best to take care to give your friends the most original and attractive gift on their wedding day.

Large gifts that require special delivery are sent on the eve of the celebration; a small gift is brought with you.

Flowers can be presented when congratulating the newlyweds at the registry office. Original, rare flowers can replace a gift even at a wedding reception.

Dress code rules

A person's appearance is a means of communication and the first impression of him. The choice of dress or suit depends on the event; very often the type of dress code is indicated on the invitation. If this item is not specified, it is better to check the dress code with the organizers.

So, the main types of dress code:

It should be noted that in each country some dress code rules are different, although in general they are identical. To decide on an outfit for a social event, you must be guided by the rules of the state where the event will take place.

The dress code, like many other nuances, is specified in the invitation (prescribed by the generally accepted names of dress codes, which are indicated in the table). For example, an invitation to an official reception: it indicates the date, time and location, and at the end there is a Creatie Black tie note, which recommends a certain style of clothing. But these are not all the codes that may be in the invitation. Let's look at the most common of them.

Newlyweds are often given money

This is very practical, but if you choose this type of gift, the amount must be quite significant. If your budget does not allow this, purchase an inexpensive item. The money is handed over to the young people in a white, unsealed envelope without an inscription, if possible in new, large bills, accompanied by the words: “To a new path in life.” A savings book looks somewhat more beautiful and no less practical.

Money is not a suitable wedding gift if you are invited to people older than you, especially if their material well-being is obvious; It is also not appropriate to give money in the case of a brief and superficial acquaintance with the heroes of the occasion.

The gift can be collective - from a group of friends, but then it is worth asking the young people what they would prefer: money or some other thing. For gifts, you should thank each guest individually; for a gift received by mail, you need to thank them in a letter within a week

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What mistakes can you make when giving?

Common mistakes when giving:

1. Careless gift giving. You need to give a gift beautifully and politely, showing respect for the recipient, and not try to finish the ceremony as quickly as possible.
2. Presenting a gift in the corridor, immediately after arrival. It must be given in a room where all guests are present (with the exception of flowers).
3. Excessive silence. It is necessary to present a gift with congratulations and warm words, otherwise it is perceived as an attempt to pay off, and not a desire to please the person.
4. Excessively loud behavior. You should not attract a lot of attention to the donation process: this will upset the guests and put the host of the holiday in an awkward position.

Learning how to give and receive gifts correctly is not difficult. It is enough to remember and follow the basic principles of etiquette: they will protect you from mistakes and awkward situations.

How to behave on the birthday of the birthday boy

On a birthday, all attention is focused on the birthday person, but this does not mean that you can arrange a celebration of selfishness and devote the entire evening only to yourself, your loved one. It is much better, more original and practical to come up with a program or scenario that can be implemented on your own or with the help of event management professionals.

To best understand how to behave on a birthday , it’s enough to put yourself in the place of a guest: everyone who is going to a holiday wants to get positive emotions and break away from the everyday rhythm, which means you shouldn’t bore your friends with stories about the boss’s next prank or prices at the nearest supermarket.

As the host of a celebration, you need to remember the basic principles of communication with guests:

• pay attention to every person who comes;
• a short excursion (where you can leave things, get yourself in order) will not be superfluous, especially if the celebration takes place in some establishment unfamiliar to the guest;
• It is necessary to introduce people new to the established company, mentioning who exactly this person is related to the birthday person, what he does - this will make it easier for those invited to find common topics for conversation;
• When accepting gifts, be sure to say words of gratitude and show interest in the gift.

This cannot be done:

• impose food and, even more so, put something on the plate at your own discretion;
• to retire with one of the invitees, not paying attention to the others;
• ask too personal questions, especially at a common table or in the presence of other guests (you can meet separately to discuss such topics).

Events in Europe and the USA

The following types of official social events are common in the USA and Europe:

• Breakfast. In France it is called petit dejeuner, in English-speaking countries - brunch (the term was formed using two words breakfast and lunch, breakfast and lunch).

• Five o'clock tea. Usually held from 16 to 18 hours, at such events the meal is purely symbolic, sometimes accompanied by dancing.

• Cocktail party. It is held between 17:00 and 21:00; those invited leave and come at their own discretion. At such events there are no rules regarding time and greetings; dancing may be provided.

• Dance party. The purpose of pastime is dancing.

• Garden party. At such an event, a table with snacks is set in the garden, each invitee serves himself.