Sketch about the Unified State Exam “Creative Commission or Unified State Exam forever”
A joke about discussions around the Unified State Exam in some media. The speeches of so-called experts and critics are parodied. The play can be staged by the school theater studio. The scenery, costumes and acting provide complete scope for imagination and creativity.
Participants: Commission at the table. Performers of live scenes: Troglodyte and student. Deacon and boyar's son. Professor, student and inquisitors.
The commission is sitting on the stage. There is a small curtain nearby.
1st commission member : Dear colleagues! This is the thirteenth or fifteenth time we are going to discuss the Unified State Examination. I hope our commission will continue its constructive discussion. We must organize the work of our commission before the anniversary year and hold festive events. Let's hear a report on our amazing successes!
2nd commission member : Dear colleagues! Every year the number of those shocked by the unified exam increases! The number of uniform answers increases annually, the number of answers falling out of the general picture decreases. But there are some shortcomings.
3rd commission member : It’s not time to be dizzy with success yet. Uniform checkboxes have still not been achieved.
1st member of the commission : Colleagues, what suggestions do we have for ticks?
3 member of the commission : For ticks, as the main skill when passing the Unified State Exam, it is necessary to allocate additional hours in the secondary school program... No, better than primary school. In the copybooks, add exercises on how to draw checkmarks correctly.
A sleeping member of the commission wakes up: Yes, yes, the checkmarks and birds are not getting enough attention. Ornithology, you see, is the main subject, the study of birds, pigeons, jackdaws... (falls asleep).
1 member of the commission : A proposal was received to include ornithology in the Unified State Examination list.
2nd member of the commission : There is an opinion that to increase efficiency we cannot stop at birds.
The examinee must be able to depict reptiles and mammals in cells.
A sleeping member of the commission wakes up: Yes, there are bunnies, animals in cages, cats...
1st member of the commission : How come, we don’t have a primitive communal society!
2nd member of the commission : What does primitive society have to do with it? It is included in the Unified State Examination in History.
1 member of the commission : In a primitive society….
The curtain opens. Backdrop with cave painting. Mammoths and other animals. Troglodyte, apprentice in skins, pile of bones. Communicate by mooing
Troglodyte shows a bone. A student pokes at a picture of an animal. The troglodyte expresses pleasure and shows a huge bone. The student pokes at all the pictures in a row. The troglodyte roars, grabs the student, and pokes him at the image of a dinosaur. Chases a student, swinging a bone.
A sleeping member of the commission wakes up: Yes, this is, you know, some positive. The narrative, you know, is for the teacher. A tangible incentive, motivation, you know, additional... (falls asleep).
1st commission member : A question arose regarding motivation. Any suggestions?
3 member of the commission : For motivation, additional study of historical experience is necessary. Russian traditions show positive examples. Lomonosov, there... From the outback, to enlightenment...
2nd member of the commission : And one more thing... From the people.... Nizhny Novgorod!
3rd commission member : Gorky?
2nd commission member : Here! So, preparation for the Unified State Exam should be carried out in a playful way! Scanwords, “Field of Miracles”...
1st commission member : Stop it! This is not provided for in the unified state educational standard!
2nd commission member : But we have historical experience!
A curtain. In the backdrop is the boyars' chamber, in the window there is a view of white-stone Moscow. Deacon and boyar's son.
Clerk : And answer me, boy, with which states and great principalities do our Moscow lands border?
Boyar son : The Moscow lands are very vast, and my father’s estate borders on the inheritance of Prince Svinorylsky.
The clerk sticks out his pocket. The boyar's son throws a coin there.
Clerk : And who is Prince Svinorylsky to your father?
Boyar's son : The appanage prince is my father's second cousin. (Holds the coin over the clerk’s pocket).
Deacon : Your knowledge in the science of geography is extensive, boy. Answer, in Latin how will it be “Man was born for thought and action”?
Boyar's son : For the Latins, everything is wine veritas.
Deacon : Your knowledge of Latin is extensive. (The boyar's son puts a coin in the clerk's pocket.)
Deacon : I will make your father happy. As soon as the embassy is sent to the Germans, you, lad, must be assigned to the sovereign’s service and appointed ambassador. Extremely educated!
The curtain closes.
A sleeping member of the commission wakes up: Valuable traditions... Traditional values, adhere, there, preserve...
2nd member of the commission : Our national history needs to be cleansed of distortions and fictions! Before taking the Unified State Exam, a review of your values is necessary!
1 member of the commission : It is necessary to involve the forces of the Ministry of Emergency Situations in the audit!
3rd commission member : With service dogs!
1 committee member : With indicators of hidden electronic devices!
2nd member of the commission : The most radical measures must be taken! Let the questions be the same throughout the territory, and the correct answers differ in each time zone!
1 member of the commission : We need to study foreign experience!
A curtain. The backdrop is a narrow window overlooking the medieval city. Professor and student.
Student : Dear professor, according to the teachings of Aristotle, the earth is the center of the world, and the sun and other planets go around?
Professor : Truly, this is what Aristotle teaches!
Student : Is there any reason to believe that, according to some observations, the Earth and seven celestial bodies called planets go around the Sun?
Professor : This is an interesting topic for scientific discussion. What observations give reason to doubt that Aristotle is right?
Inquisitors enter : Heretical thoughts! Doubts about the correctness of the divine plan and the teachings of the church! Take!
The student is taken away. The professor is hiding behind the pulpit.
Inquisitor : Who allowed the spread of heresy! Eliminate the source of ungodly thoughts!
The professor is taken away. The curtain closes.
A sleeping member of the commission wakes up: Not ours, not our method... Our teaching staff controls ideological triggers. It is unacceptable here... Not applicable... (falls asleep).
1st committee member : There was an idea to strengthen the triggers... players... we need to pay more attention to practice exams!
2nd committee member : We need to discuss the questions of the practice exam! Let's ask about the diameter of the equator!
1st committee member : Is this so important for entering an independent life?
2nd commission member : Yes, just interesting.
3rd committee member : The question should be simple enough so that the children do not lose motivation. They may lose interest in the Unified State Exam! They must experience a sense of responsibility!
2nd member of the commission : Does the Volga flow into the Caspian Sea?
3rd commission member : Give us possible answers! Does the Caspian Volga flow into the sea?
1 member of the commission : Which Volga flows into the Caspian Sea?
3 member of the commission . The Volga will flow into a) the sea, b) the ocean...
Announcer's voice : According to regional examination commissions, 99.9 percent of students successfully passed the unified state exam...
The members of the commission, except for the sleeping one, jump up. Vying with each other: Everything is fine! And there was no need to worry! So many nerves, so many nerves! Until the next meeting!
The commission members leave. The sleeping person snores. The inquisitor’s voice, first quietly, then louder: “Eradicate the source of ungodly thoughts.” The sleeping member of the commission jumps up. He looks around in fear. Leaves.
Author: Elena Vysotskaya.
Poems and sketches for Last Bell, 11th grade
Songs, skits and poems for the project “Last Call 2017”
Author: Murashova Natalia Yuryevna Additional education teacher MBOU Secondary School No. 58 / part-time MBOU Secondary School No. 44 in Khabarovsk Description: All these skits and songs will be useful to organizers, class teachers, and high school students not only for the last bell, but also for congratulations on Teacher’s Day. I decided to publish it separately from the main outline of the script so as not to overload it with descriptions of scenes. Purpose: Congratulations to teachers. Objectives: 1. Develop screenwriting skills while working on the script text.
2. Create an atmosphere for collective creativity. 5. Develop a respectful attitude towards teachers, the stage, and the audience. Number for life safety teachers
(skit) Description: The act was invented together with the children, based on school reality: life safety lessons on Wednesday, school duty on Thursday, a disco, and at the same time they demonstrated first aid skills right on stage.
(Characters: Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Robinson) Robinson stands on the stage in shorts and ragged clothes and counts the lines on the wall Robinson: ... seven hundred and thirty-one. It’s been two years since I’ve been on this island... I didn’t die from hunger and cold - I adapted. The wounds are healing. The main thing here is to apply the bandage correctly and treat it in a timely manner (sits down on the edge of the stage)
.
Only one thing worries me: I’m talking to myself... If only I could meet one living person! Wednesday comes out, Robinson shudders and looks in bewilderment. Robinson: Who are you? Wednesday (pats his head)
: I am Wednesday.
Don't remember me? Robinson (gets up and looks into the distance)
: As I remember right now: Wednesday, life safety, the music is so... special.
The Russian Anthem sounds. Wednesday leaves. Robinson (looks around and calls)
: Wednesday, Wednesday...
I imagined it again. At this time Thursday comes out and puts his hand on his shoulder. Thursday (threateningly):
Are you late for duty again?
Irina Anatolyevna will be dissatisfied... Robinson: Ah-ah-ah... So you are Thursday? Thursday (smiling):
Thursday.
Do you remember... Vitya leaves Robinson (lists):
Wednesday... Thursday... So somewhere around here there is also....
Friday! Friday comes out and hands Robinson (he looks at the piece of paper enthusiastically):
Oops, a ticket to the disco!?!
Hey Friday, when's the disco? Friday (leaving):
Tomorrow, Robinson... tomorrow.
Robinson: Tomorrow... what day is it? However, it doesn't matter! I won't go to the disco alone. (calls) Max!!! Maaax! pulls out a first aid simulator from behind the scenes : It’s so good that you and I were saved together! (slaps cheeks)
Get up, buddy, we'll go to the disco tomorrow!
(does chest massage)
.
Max! (calls)
Maaaks!
Come to your senses... Eh! (sits on the edge of the stage, sighs sadly)
Maxim, you are hopeless!
Voice-over: Irina Anatolyevna, Igor Viktorovich, we will never forget your lessons!
Performance for a computer science teacher (sketch)
The text was invented based on children's experience with operating systems.
The "Steep Dive" soundtrack plays. Three people in white coats come out. They approach the table on which the patient is lying, there are three people standing on their surgical caps that say Windows (Olga Likhova), Linux (Katya Groshenko), iOS (Sasha Yuzhakova) Windows: So, colleagues, let's get started! The loading has begun... Linux (looking at the patient with puzzlement)
: He's being stupid.
iOS (smiling politely):
Just like you, dear colleague.
Windows: Soooo! We don't argue. Better look how many viruses there are! Linux: Where? I do not see? iOS (mockingly)
: Update your antivirus.
Windows: Kaspersky for me! iOS disk (in a whisper):
What is Kaspersky?
Linux (also in a whisper)
: I don't know!
iOS (whispers to the nurse):
Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Ps! What is Kaspersky? The nurse comes up and whispers in iOS's (understanding):
A-ah-ah!
(confident) I don't need it. Linux (also in a whisper)
: Well?!
iOS (understanding):
But it won’t help you.
Windows: Let's start scanning... Linux (with enthusiasm):
May I!!!
(presses on the patient’s knee) Everyone takes a step back and stands with their hands raised. At this time, the patient’s body begins to twitch, and a pig’s squeal is heard periodically (as when a virus is detected) Linux (looks “inside” and winces)
: Trojan program.
iOS (with disgust):
Ew!!
That's disgusting! It needs to be deleted. Windows: Look at this... what an interesting case! Do you see? (pause)
We'll have to format it!
iOS: Can we make a backup copy? Linux: Great idea! (presses the patient's knee) Voice-over: The data is saved in the Cloud. Windows: Now let's start formatting... (the sound of a whirring computer) Voiceover: Formatting is complete. Windows: Recheck. (To Katya)
Colleague, please!
Voiceover: No threats detected. Windows: Colleagues, thank you for your cooperation. (to the nurse)
Reboot!
The nurse remains on stage, patting the patient on the cheeks and moving the cotton wool in front of his nose. Nurse: How are you feeling? Patient (waking up)
: I feel great.
Like new! Voice-over: Thanks to our computer science teachers!
SONG for math teachers
to the tune of “Snow” by Philip Kirkorov 1. Giving warmth to us You opened your heart We were sometimes scolded by you But you hoped that we would understand. Let us all say together: goodbye to Logarithms and drawings. But student time will bring them to us again. Let us all say together: goodbye to logarithms and drawings. But student time will bring them to us again 2. How many solved problems and examples were in our notebooks... Goodbye, forgive me, goodbye! - We will tell you more than once. You have invested so much knowledge in us, You told us: learn! Soon we will fly into the distance Like a flock of balloons skyward! You have invested so much knowledge in us, You told us: learn! Soon we will fly into the distance Like a flock of balloons skyward!
Song for primary school teachers
(The idea was taken from a Nice advertisement)
What, what, what is our first teacher made of? La-la-la-la...... la. Our first teacher is made from flowers and bells, From riddles and notebooks... From iron, from aspirations, From dedication and battles! Our first teacher is made! From the perseverance and attention that our company is proud of: Our first teacher has been made! From lessons and diaries, From patience and clenched fists, from independence and skill, From passion and heart and dignity! From will - stronger than flint, From strength and fire! From freedom from other people's opinions, from accomplishments and achievements, our first teacher was made! La-la-la-la...... la
Number for a chemistry teacher
Description: If you have children who sing, then you can sing this song.
Mendeleev sits on a chair on stage with his head in his hands. Varenka Varenka enters : Dmitry Ivanovich, I understand everything - SCIENCE! But you need to sleep. For the third day you have been drawing something, drawing... Mendeleev: Eh, Varenka, I can’t sleep... All the elements are spinning and spinning in my head... I’ll just close my eyes... Varenka: And you lie down. So I brought you a pillow. The morning is wiser than the evening. Mendelev lies down on the edge of the stage and closes his eyes. The song of the group “Underwood” plays, three couples come out and dance “Chemistry and Life” Song: Believe me, this is necessary. Believe me, this is important. We will not deceive the hopes and trust of citizens! After all, I am so talented, and you are so beautiful! We are drawn to each other with clinical force. Believe me, I'm not a bastard. Believe me, I'm not a bastard. It’s just that you’re an acid, and I’m still an alkali. Don't be angry with me, don't go against nature. You are sediment at the bottom. I am a radical on the loose. Here they are joined (on the losing side) by four more.
Chorus: From the first blow, a nail hits the head.
Look, my love, we are soaking wet! We burn our hormones, we cry and tremble. Look what Chemistry and life are doing to us! At the end, everyone makes a “picture”: the letters CHEMISTRY are stuck on their backs
.
Mendeleev (waking up):
Sodium sulfate!!!
How simply everything turned out! Now you can show my system everywhere, even in schools during chemistry lessons! Voice-over: Elena Dmitrievna, thank you for your lessons. We cut the song short, there were too many obscenities in the second verse.
You can find the script at: /blogs/natalija-yurevna-murashova/scenarii-na-poslednii-zvonok-11-klas.html
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Flash mob at a junior school
Group dancing came from the west. Flash mobs are pre-planned movements that are performed in a public place. The name flash mob is translated as 'flash of the crowd'. The action is carried out unexpectedly when a large group of people begins to perform the same movements to the music, and then disperses in different directions.
A children's flash mob at school is a great way to spend time and make the kids happy. The promotion can be on different themes: in honor of a sports festival, graduation or New Year.
Photo source: zuilova.ru
Here are interesting ideas on how to conduct flash mobs:
- Traffic rules
Turn learning the rules of the road into real fun. Let the kids transform into traffic controllers with sticks and dance merrily. This way, the formation of safe behavior skills on the roads will be successful. Junior school students will remember the rules better and have a lot of fun.
- Sports flash mob at school.
All primary school students can participate in the mass action and hold a cultural and sports event. Take traditional exercises and dynamic music as a basis. Let the guys wear sportswear or shorts with T-shirts. Then the action will attract even more attention.
- "Big Wash".
Will help children warm up during a break and strengthen their skills in handling and caring for clothes. It is not necessary to teach a flash mob for children; here the children repeat the movements of the adult who stands at the beginning of the group. Students stand at the back in several rows. Everyone unanimously performs the movements of washing, rinsing, spinning and hanging clothes.
- Flash mob for New Year at school.
Dancing will lift the festive mood of schoolchildren. It is enough for children to dance in a circle and perform dynamic movements to the New Year's composition. At the end, everyone in chorus congratulates those present on the New Year. The event can be held in a public place.
- "Macarena".
A fun dance with active movements will never go out of style. A great way to have fun at recess is to dance some basic moves together. The main thing is to choose energetic music and move to the beat.
Photo source: school176.ru
Don't get hung up on performing difficult tricks. Let the children perform simple movements: jumping, squatting, clapping. Then it will be easy, fun and from the heart.
