A comic skit for a physical education teacher. A skit about a physical education lesson. Miniatures based on stories from jokes about Vovochka for a boy

A skit about Vovochkin’s dad and his physical education class

This miniature is quite suitable as a scene for Teacher's Day. Funny stories related to dull parents - what could make teachers more amused? The plot of this sketch begins with the fact that Vovochka’s dad comes to school with a bandaged head and on crutches. He demands monetary compensation from the director for the injury, since the clinic does not give him a ballot with payment. The director is surprised: “Why should the school pay for a broken head?”

Yes, not the school, but your physical education teacher! It was he who made the children do the exercise, which I also tried to do, standing outside the gym door - and this is the result!

What did Andrei Petrovich demand such an impossible from the children? - the director is surprised.

He told them: “Children, raise your right leg!” I also raised my right leg. And he says: “Now raise your left leg!” I also tried to raise my left leg, holding the window sill with my hands, but I fell, hitting my head on the floor... And my legs got stuck in the radiator! It's amazing how all your children haven't gotten hurt yet!

"Dramateshka" is the largest archive of children's plays in RuNet

The secretary comes out with a gong and a baton. He hits the gong. Secretary. Ladies and Gentlemen! Ladies and gentlemen! Madame and Monsieur! Today in this room the case “Los students and hooligans against teachers” is being heard. In the red corner of the hall is the Prosecutor, also known as the Prosecutor. To the music of Beethoven, the Prosecutor appears in a red robe and red boxing gloves, greeting the crowd, shaking his gloved hands. Secretary. In the blue corner of the hall is the Defender, also known as the Lawyer. The Lawyer comes out to cheerful music and greets those gathered. He is wearing a blue robe and blue boxing gloves. The gong sounds. Secretary. Boxing! (Leaves.) Comic dance “Duel.” The Secretary comes out. Secretary. Get up! The trial is coming! The Lawyer and the Prosecutor move apart, pretending that nothing happened on the stage. The Judge appears from behind the screen. Secretary. The floor for the opening speech is given to the representative of the prosecution. Prosecutor. Ladies and gentlemen! I didn’t have to give this speech - after all, it’s enough to look at these unfortunate people (“the poor students are crawling out”) to be convinced of the presence of malicious intent on the part of the accused! Studying at school undermined their health: in physical education lessons they are forced to run and jump, despite their weak lungs from frequent smoking! Physics and mathematics lessons “bring to a boil” their brains, already tired from the daily backbreaking rest! I'm not even talking about the lessons of Russian and foreign languages: the words that are spoken here, their language, accustomed to constant jargon, is not even able to be pronounced, let alone memorized. What about labor education teachers? They screw knowledge into the heads of these unfortunate people like screws, and this knowledge gets stuck there! Not to mention the inhumanity of people hiding under the title “teacher of biology and chemistry”! Just think: they starve the children by not allowing them to eat in class! What about the lesson - in the chemistry room! One cannot fail to say something about the class teachers: with their constant calls to parents and summoning them to school, the class teachers grossly invade the privacy of the victims! Therefore, I request the high court to give the most severe sentence to the accused! (Sits down.) Secretary. The floor is given to the defense. Advocate. I will refrain from making an opening statement and hope that the testimony will help the high court fairly assess the innocence of my clients. Secretary. We begin questioning witnesses. The vocal ensemble ____________ under the direction of ______________ is invited to testify. Choir performance. Prosecutor. Well?! What did I say?! The teachers completely tortured the poor children! They even write songs about it! Advocate. Dear colleague! You are not right! You can see for yourself how fun the children were singing the song about the shoemaker! They probably also want to learn how to compose such good songs! And who can teach them this? Only the teacher! Secretary. ________________ is called to the witness stand. Amateur performance number. Prosecutor. Ladies and Gentlemen! Have you heard what this girl is singing about? She wants to run away from school to a place where she doesn't have to study! Doesn't this strengthen the prosecution's position? Advocate. It seems to me, colleague, that you did not quite understand the meaning of this song. It sings about flying into the world of fantasy and dreams. But if you don’t want to know anything and don’t do anything, then your dreams will never come true! Therefore, I believe that this speech supports the defense. Secretary. The dance ensemble ____________ under the direction of ________________________ is called as witnesses. Dance with hats. Prosecutor. Ladies and Gentlemen! Your Honor! Pay attention to this dance! Why do you think these children jump so happily? Yes, because they don’t need to learn lessons or sit over books! They can do whatever they want! Advocate. Your Honor! My colleague is absolutely right when he says that these children do not need to be taught lessons. After all, they have already learned them! And here, too, they don’t always do everything they want: after all, learning to dance is a very serious matter! Secretary. The following witnesses are called: vocal group of ________ class. Performance by boys of _____ class. After the performance, one of the poor students runs out and whispers something in the Prosecutor’s ear. Prosecutor. Your Honor! We have just received material that will help completely expose the criminal intentions of the accused. This is filming with a hidden camera. Will you allow the video evidence to be shown to the high court? The judge nods. Secretary. Video evidence is presented in the case of “Losers and Hooligans against Teachers.” Sketch “School-style karaoke.” Prosecutor. Your Honor! The victims treat textbooks and notebooks very well: they don’t read anything in textbooks, and they don’t write anything in notebooks! Therefore, one textbook and one notebook are enough for them for a year, or even two! Calculate the cost savings for parents! And the accused, not understanding the nobility of the aspirations of these children, force them not only to buy textbooks and notebooks for each subject, but also to write in notebooks, rendering them completely unusable! It seems to me that these materials completely expose the malicious intent of the accused. Advocate. Yes, Your Honor, in my clients’ classes, students read textbooks and write in notebooks. But this is done only for their benefit: after all, as you know, a written thought is better than a forgotten one! And from books they constantly learn something new and interesting. This video material in no way incriminates my clients; on the contrary, this testifies to their complete innocence, because their actions are dictated by love for children and care for them. Therefore, I ask to call the following witnesses: the vocal group of ________ class. Speech by ________ class (girls). Secretary. The floor for the closing speech is given to the Lawyer. Advocate. Ladies and gentlemen! You see how my clients suffer, looking at how these young souls perish without their beneficial influence! Yes, physical education teachers make children run and jump, but they don’t do it for their own pleasure! No! They do this to ensure that all students become healthy and strong. We agree that there is a fact of enormous voltage on the brains of students (at least 220 volts) during physics and mathematics lessons. But not a single teacher took advantage of this for his personal needs. Where have you seen a student to whom you would connect a light bulb? That's the same! After all, teachers want all the kids to be smart! As for teachers of Russian and foreign languages, they simply encourage children to communicate in a manner worthy of a human being. After all, not only does no one understand the jargon that the students speak, but even the technology cannot stand it; computers burn out 5 minutes after starting a conversation! I'm not even talking about teachers of vocational training, fine arts, music and Moscow Art Culture! They, sparing no effort and time, try to instill in children a love of beauty and the ability to create this beauty with their own hands! What would we do without biology and chemistry teachers? After all, only they will help to distinguish a poisonous plant from an edible one and a wild animal from a domestic one. And history and geography teachers! Have they done little to understand the world? Without them, we would never have known about his miracles! As for the class teachers, it must be said that the parents of the victims themselves ask to call them in order to be aware of everything that is happening with the children. Therefore, I, Your Honor, appeal to the high court: I insist that my clients are innocent, and therefore must be acquitted! Judge. After considering all the evidence and listening to testimony, the court makes a verdict. The accused teachers are sentenced to lifelong memory of students, to great student and parental gratitude and forced labor in secondary school No. ______ for an unlimited period! The verdict is final and cannot be appealed!

Old Man Hottabych - did he really exist?

You can imagine funny skits for Teacher's Day, in which an old tome with hieroglyphs inscribed on it will be used. You can get it from a bottle that Volka catches in the sea. Everyone in the hall will be expecting gin, and then... And Volka will also be surprised - it’s written completely differently in the book!

Or you can still release a genie on stage during the skit on Teacher's Day. The funny commandments that old Hottabych will pronounce will surely make all teachers and students laugh! Although the volumes for reading in a purely teaching circle and at a general holiday with students should still be different.

“Commandments for a young teacher from experienced colleagues” with demonstration

Funny skits will be very creative if the rules that are included in them are not only read, but also acted out. For example, it might look like this.

Presenter (experienced teacher):

Teacher!

By division, Tamara Stepanovna!

More specifically, Natasha, how?

With a shovel, Tamara Stepanovna!

Okay, Natasha, God bless them, the worms... Tell me ten animals that live in Africa.

Four crocodiles and six monkeys!

That's it, Natasha, my patience is over! Give me your diary, I'll give you a D in it!

But I don’t have it now... Vasilisa took it from me for a while. Today she will scare her parents with it.

TO

I adore Germany so much!
Especially London... *** And
a geography lesson for children.
The teacher talks about the demographic situation in the world. Noting the growth of the planet's population, she states: By such and such a year, the planet's population will be 10 billion. I promise you this! Voice from the audience: Just try your best. *** Did
you know that the territory of the Krasnoyarsk Territory could accommodate seven Germanys or four Frances?
But they don’t want to, bastards! *** - Children
, what parts of the world do you know?
- Switch, light bulb, wires! *** What
is this Moscow region? This is the metro.

TO

breaking news: a geography teacher, under the guise of pregnancy, took 20 thousand rubles worth of globes out of school.
*** During
a geography lesson, the teacher scolds Vovochka: “On the contour map in the North Caucasus region, why is it empty?”
- Marivanna, so they are all in Moscow... *** -
Once while hunting in Africa, from a distance of five hundred meters, I felled an elephant with the first shot.
- What's this! Recently, while hunting in the North Sea, I strangled a bear with my bare hands! - Yes, to the question of the seas. Have you ever heard of the Dead Sea? - Well, of course. -So, it was my brother and I who killed him. *** Magellan
started drinking out of anger, Cook went to wash the toilets.
Kostya showed the teacher the Globe of his own apartment. *** I
wasn’t always interested: didn’t Australia want to occupy an entire continent???
*** repeating
When a blizzard howled in the village I was talking about magical lands About apples and the sun of the south And there is in the World - the South Pole There is nothing more south of it He is warm, like a grandmother’s voice Which, more tender than all others, Probably there and in January It’s Warm, like in summer in Jamaica, blacks sweat in the heat wearing only shorts and a T-shirt, stuffing the cabin with popsicles, Sprite, and Coca-Cola. I'll go to the South Pole in the winter. I'll go warm up on an icebreaker.
If it
weren't for the Russian language, Honduras would still remain small, not for anyone. famous country in South America.
*** Teacher
: - Volodya, tell me where we will end up if we drill right through the Earth at the equator?
- To a madhouse! *** — Why
was the Karelo-Finnish Autonomous Soviet Socialist Republic renamed Karelian?
— A thorough search revealed only 2 Finns in the Karelo-Finnish Autonomous Soviet Socialist Republic - the financial inspector and Finkelstein, and upon closer examination it turned out that they were one and the same person. *** “To
your lips,” says the teacher, “tell us about Columbus’s journey.”
- So then. Columbus did not know where he had sailed. And when I returned home, I didn’t know where. *** —
Teacher: What do you know about parallels and meridians?
— Student: They encircle the globe so that it does not crumble. *** Rock
geography lesson at school in a remote village: - So, kids, remember: the cities of Warsaw, London, Paris are on the right birch of the Dnieper, and the cities of Moscow, Hong Kong, Tokyo are on the river ***
- P
Etka, tell me how many parts of the world there are?
- Five, Pyotr Vasilyevich - List them. - One two three four five. *** -
Your son is very weak in geography!
- Doesn't matter! With our income you can’t go far... *** Can
you tell me how to get to the village of Yunost?
— 30 ​​years in the opposite direction. *** From
the Jews - Israel is a small country, but they are all over the world.
— Israel is not a country. This is an office. *** To
the stream to the left and to the right there is a globe But it’s a pity on it, there is no such place Where would the 17 bus go And there would be enough money for a ticket ***
Geography
and women: From 18-21 years old, women look like Africa or Australia.
It is half developed, half wild and has natural beauty with vegetation surrounding a fertile delta. At the age of 21-30, women are like America or Japan. Fully mastered, very well developed and open to trade relations especially with countries with cash and cars. At the age of 30-35 they are similar to India or Spain. Very sultry, relaxed and confident in their own beauty. At the age of 35-40, women are similar to France or Argentina. They may be half destroyed during wars, but can still remain a warm and welcome place to visit. At the age of 40-50 they are like Yugoslavia or Iraq. They lost the war and are often tormented by the mistakes of the past. Global reconstruction is now simply necessary. At the age of 50-60 they are like Russia or Canada. They are wide, calm, the borders are practically unguarded, but the very cold climate keeps people away. At the age of 60-70, women look like England or Mongolia. With a glorious past as a conqueror of everything and everyone, but, alas, without a future. After 70 they become Albania or Afghanistan. Everyone knows where they are, but no one wants to go there. Geography and men: At the age of 15-70, men are like Zimbabwe - the member rules *** If
you are lost in the forest, you don’t have a compass or a navigator, wait until autumn: the birds will fly south.
*** - What
happened to you?
- the little girl asks her older sister. - Why are you crying? — The geography teacher gave me a bad grade! I forgot where Alaska is. - Oh, you're confused! Where did you put it? *** It’s
good insanity when, in all its glory, you penetrate into the essence and joy brings your cheekbones together: I’ve traveled all over the Warsaw highway - There’s not a single Warsaw except Tula... ***
-
Nikitka, and I have a gift for you: according to this atlas I was still in school.
— Grandma, are the continents already marked on it? *** -
Tell me, Vitya, how many parts of the world do we have?
- So it’s well known... - Well, name it. - That light and this light. *** In
rock geography: - Vovochka, name 5 African animals.
- 2 monkeys and 3 elephants. *** —
Teacher: What minerals do you know?
— Student: Coal, iron ore, potatoes. *** If
you want to kill time, find Kryzhopol in the atlas ***
A
geography teacher comes to the doctor.
- Tell me exactly where your pain is concentrated? - he asks. - Leg. - Where? - To the north-east of the heel... *** Dad
, angrily: - Vova!
Explain to me why you got bad marks in all subjects except geography?!! Vovochka, frowningly: - They haven’t asked me about geography yet... *** In
a geography lesson at school: - Vovochka, what is the largest country in the world?
- Honduras, Marya Ivanovna. -Where is it? - Everywhere. *** When
your wife is as round as a globe Competitors are especially dangerous. Keep an eye on her so that she doesn’t reveal continents to others.
*** - Rabinovich
, tell me, where is Siberia?
- In Asia. - How can you get there? - The easiest way is through the court! *** To
find out in the forest where the south is, you need to look carefully at the tree: if it is a palm tree, then the south is already here!
*** After
the Great Patriotic War, the idea of ​​unifying the Mordovian Autonomous Soviet Socialist Republic and the Jewish Autonomous Soviet Socialist Republic was put forward.
It didn’t work out because they didn’t agree on the name – either “Zhidomordovskaya” or “Mordozhidovskaya”. *** in
the minibus - there is a children's quiz with a geographical bias.
The announcer asks the question: - The name of which city in Ukraine consists of two parts: the first is what a person cannot live without, the second is what brings people peace? The answer is ZHITO - peace. Aunt in the salon: - Why not Kherson?! *** Ovochka
is taking an exam in economic geography.
The teacher asks a question: - Vovochka, tell me, what does our country import from India? - This is... Mary Ivanna, I don’t remember... - Well, think about it! What do we all drink every morning? Vovochka with surprise and disbelief in her voice: “Is it really a pickle?!” *** —
I have an exam in geography tomorrow.
Mom, I'm worried. — The capital of Argentina? - Buenos Aires. — Capital of Portugal? - Lisbon. Mom, come on again! — The capital of Argentina? - Buenos Aires. — Capital of Portugal? - Lisbon. *** —
What was your grade in geography?
- Five. - Oh, so if we send you, you won’t get lost? Jokes about teachers
Jokes about Vladivostok and Primorye

Super jokes only about our country

Miniatures based on stories from jokes about Vovochka for a boy

What is two and two? Tanya, answer!

Five thousand, Mary-bath!

Wrong. What do you think, Petenka?

I think it's Tuesday!

You don't think at all, Petenka. And if you do think, it’s not with your brains... Vovochka, maybe you know the right answer?

Of course, Mary-Ivanna! Twice two equals four!

Absolutely right, you’re so smart, Vovochka! How did you guess?

So, if you subtract Tuesday from five thousand, you get four!

The second sketch can be based on Vovochka’s conversation with her parents. Mom asks her son what happened at school today. Vovochka proudly answers:

Mary-Ivanna praised you for your friendship!

How is that? - asks the surprised mother.

She said just that: “Well, Vovochka, thank you very much to your parents, they were very friendly to me! She also asked everyone to say if they had siblings. I was the first to answer!

What did you say?

Well, he said that I am the only child in the family! And Maria Ivanovna wiped the sweat from her forehead, raised her hands to heaven and joyfully exclaimed: “Glory to you, Lord!”

Extracurricular activity “I would like to become a teacher, let them teach me”

I WOULD GO TO BE A TEACHER, LET THEY TEACH ME

interactive career guidance game for high school students

Goal:
orientation of schoolchildren to choose the teaching profession
Objectives:

- developing students’ interest in the teaching profession;

— increasing the prestige of the teaching profession in the eyes of high school students;

— development of students’ communicative competence.

Equipment:

- computer; projector, screen, magnetic board, magnets.

- for each team: felt-tip pens, markers, glue, pictures with professions, A3, A4 sheets, pens, glue.

Age category:

students in grades 9–11.

Progress of the event

EXPLANATORY NOTE

I held this event in September 2021 as part of the month of career guidance for high school students and with the aim of guiding schoolchildren to choose the teaching profession.

Participants of the event are students of grades 9–11. Teams of 8 people are formed. The rest of the schoolchildren are spectators.

EVENT DESCRIPTION

Presenter's opening remarks

Good afternoon

Today we will conduct an interactive career guidance game “If I would become a teacher, let them teach me.”

SLIDE 1

The teaching profession is undoubtedly one of the most respected, honorable and responsible professions in the world. A teacher is a person who creates the future of the country.

SLIDE 2

The work of a teacher directly influences the development of knowledge of the younger generation, its beliefs, culture, worldview, spiritual and moral qualities. It's hard to argue with that. However, statistics show that modern graduates are reluctant to enter pedagogical universities. This is due to a number of factors: the state’s attitude towards teaching as a whole, and towards each individual representative of the teaching corps; the attitude of society and society towards teaching work; low rating of attractiveness of the teaching profession in the eyes of graduates. The workload of a modern teacher, relatively low wages, and the decline in teacher prestige have led to the fact that over the past 10 years the number of teachers has decreased by 25%. If we do not change the situation, then who will teach your children? Today, the school, society, and country are waiting for young and talented teachers. Let's look at the teaching profession from different angles.

I invite the teams to take their places at the tables.

We begin…

First task: “ Great things about teachers”

Attention! There are three statements on the slide, one for each team. I invite you to express your attitude to this statement. Why do you think it appeared? Is it relevant at the present stage? Why?

Discussion time 3 minutes.

SLIDE 3

(After time has passed, the teams present their point of view and arguments.)

Thank you! We continue.

The teacher through the eyes of his students.

In one of the schools, students were asked to make a rating of the qualities of a modern teacher. Here's what happened:

SLIDE 4

I suggest that in 3 minutes you make your own rating of 5 qualities necessary for a modern teacher. Write these qualities down on sheets of paper (write them down larger so that they can be read from the audience).

(The guys discuss, make their rating, write it down on sheets of paper. After the time is up, they post it on a magnetic board. The presenter comments on the results.

During this stage, it turned out that all three teams put education in 1st place, and kindness in 2nd place).

Guys, thank you!

Your opinion about the qualities required for a teacher is very important to me. We see that the qualities you have chosen characterize the teacher both as a professional and as a person.

Why you need to become a teacher.

Dear participants! Let's continue! I suggest you give three arguments: why you need to become a teacher

. 9th grade – from the perspective of graduates; 10th grade - on behalf of parents; 11th grade - on behalf of society (society). Time for discussion – 3 minutes. You draw up your arguments on sheets of paper.

SLIDE 5

Attention!

Time! Please place your arguments on the board and voice and justify them.

(participants attach the sheets to the magnetic board. Read them out. Comment on their point of view.

An interesting fact: all teams had one of their arguments: stable income. In our small town this is really important).

Thank you ! We are moving on to the next stage.

Why you shouldn't become a teacher.

Participants! You change roles: 9th grade - from the position of parents, 10th grade - from the position of society (society), 11th grade - from the position of graduates. Present three arguments: why you shouldn’t become a teacher

. You discuss, choose, write down. You have 3 minutes.

SLIDE 6

(After time has elapsed, the answers are posted on the magnetic board. Team representatives read out and comment on their arguments.

Guys from each group indicated that low salaries and heavy workload are the main reasons why they will not become teachers)

Thanks guys,

for your opinion. What needs to be done to increase the prestige of the teaching profession. This is the next task for you.

Increasing the teacher's status.

You switch roles again. In 3 minutes you need to propose actions (events) to change the status of the teacher. 9th grade - on behalf of society (society), 10th grade - on behalf of graduates, 11th grade - on behalf of parents. Time has passed!

SLIDE 7

(After 3 minutes, proposals appeared on the board. This stage turned out to be the most difficult for the participants)

Creative task.

SLIDE 8

We know

What role does advertising play in the life of a modern person? I suggest you, in 10 minutes, make a collage propaganda leaflet “I would like to become a teacher, let them teach me.” On your tables: markers, felt-tip pens, A3 sheets, pictures, glue. I am sure that in 10 minutes you will make an original propaganda leaflet that will express your opinion about the teaching profession. Distribute roles in the group when working on the leaflet, this is important since time is limited. Get started!

While ours

participants are working on a creative task, I invite the audience to answer the quiz questions. (application)

Presentation of propaganda leaflets.

Thanks to the viewers!

I think the quiz was educational for you. Meanwhile, the participants have finished and are ready to present their leaflets. I ask for your attention!

SLIDE 10

(Teams place leaflets on the board. Read out the slogan and explain their choice).

Thank you! I think you did it!

Summarizing.

Guys, I would like to offer you my arguments why you need to be a teacher.

SLIDE 11

And I also know for sure that teachers are always young at heart, as they work with young, active and positive students!

When choosing a teaching profession, you should know that you will always be in demand on the labor market, because... teacher is an “eternal category”. I hope that from one of you I will hear: “My future profession is a teacher!”

SLIDE 12

Thanks to all!

Sources:

https://feelgood.ua/obraz-zhizni/8-prichin-stat-uchitelem-feelgood/

https://sbornik-mudrosti.ru/poslovicy-i-pogovorki-ob-uchenii/

https://www.it-n.ru/board.aspx?cat_no=70195&tmpl=Thread&BoardId=70661&ThreadId=24459&page=8

https://doshkolnik.info/klass/slova.htm

Quiz application for viewers DOCX / 17.19 KB presentation PPTX / 238.61 KB