Congratulations for retirement

Comic congratulations for retirement “Ambulance team with gifts”

This is a costumed congratulations for a pensioner who is about to retire.
Depending on the specific culprit and the composition of the guests, changes can be made to make the congratulations targeted. A comic congratulation for retirement “Ambulance with gifts” will be more effective and fun if you make the characters contrasting: a stern doctor and a cheerful nurse, or both roles played by men in disguise.

Scenario of congratulations “Ambulance brigade for retirement”

A “stern” doctor and a “hot” nurse come out

Game with guests “Ambulance Team”

(The doctor examines several guests and gives recommendations for treatment to the nurse, who hands out medicine and behaves very playfully).

Doctor: Open your mouth, close your eyes. Everything is clear - acute drink deficiency. Sister, Balm Bruise-Zabubenkina – 50 grams immediately.

(Go to the next one).

(They go to the next one and listen).

- Breath! Do not breath. Sister, this patient has all the signs of peretostitis. Pastille and balm - 50. one time.

Raise your right hand, close your left eye. Say AAAAAH. That’s what I thought – he’s dancing! 3 x 30 and a lozenge. (And then they approach the birthday boy, begin to conduct an examination: ears, hair, eyes and click their tongues, shake their heads and be horrified)

- What a neglected and interesting case. You patient needs a more thorough examination. Please follow us.

A comic examination of the culprit before a well-deserved rest

(Look into the eyes, look at the pupils).

- I don’t like your pupils. Look right, look left. Yes Yes Yes. That’s what I thought, under-hangover, that’s exactly my profile. Sister - a mixture of Kuler-Opokhmelkin (they give a small piece of vodka).

- The patient, this is in especially acute cases, in the morning on an empty stomach. Now let's check your hearing. (They examine the ears. He moves away a little and loudly, but speaks to the side)

— Cognac 100. Another 100. (the hero of the occasion repeats).

“This completely confirms my initial diagnosis.” Konyakovsky syndrome of the third degree. Do you agree with me, colleague? For these symptoms, I recommend using Sinyak-Zabubenkina Balm, made according to my recipe. Received three stars at the doctors' symposium. Drink 100 on an irregular basis, solely to increase tone and appetite (they give you a bottle of cognac).

- Well, there’s also a keen heartfelt love for my grandchildren. Sister, give 2 standards to your granddaughter, take a slice at a time with your grandchildren (they give chocolate)

- Well, what, you, sick man, have let yourself go like this? You just have a bunch of diseases, and even protracted chronic workaholism, which, as far as I know, can only be effectively helped by a well-deserved rest, with which we congratulate you!

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Scenes for a woman's retirement

If you are tasked with preparing a farewell ceremony for your friend or relative, then try to make this anniversary evening as fun and interesting as possible.

After all, seeing off retirement is an important milestone in the life of any person.

Prepare a retirement scenario that will include funny ditties, games and skits.

Scenes for seeing off a woman’s retirement should be funny and cool, so that there is no regret that an important stage of life has been passed.

New Russian grandmothers - Pension in 10 years.

Igor Mamenko and Svetlana Rozhkova - Role-playing games.

Igor Mamenko and Svetlana Rozhkova - Role-playing games. # really funny

Elena Vorobey, Gennady Vetrov and Igor Mamenko - Father and son with the bride.

Elena Vorobey, Gennady Vetrov and Igor Mamenko - Father and son with the bride. # really funny

Crooked Mirror - Got to the wrong place.

Distorting mirror - Shaolin.

Distorting mirror - Mischievous coupletists.

Distorting mirror - Mischievous coupletists. # really funny

Igor Mamenko Bees!

Igor Mamenko and Vladimir Vinokur - Marriage agency

Source: https://ru-ru.facebook.com/rusfunny/videos/%D0%BD%D0%BE%D0%B2%D1%8B%D0%B5-%D1%80%D1%83%D1% 81%D1%81%D0%BA%D0%B8%D0%B5-%D0%B1%D0%B0%D0%B1%D0%BA%D0%B8-%D0%BF%D0%B5%D0% BD%D1%81%D0%B8%D1%8F-%D1%87%D0%B5%D1%80%D0%B5%D0%B7-10-%D0%BB%D0%B5%D1%82/ 316483152884470/

Cool scene for seeing off retirement

Characters: God of Work, God of Vacation, Goddess of Salary, Goddess of Pension.

Props: costumes for the gods are made from ordinary sheets, head wreaths are made from artificial branches or paper.

Host: There is an old legend about how candidates for pensioners are accepted: a whole council is convened on the divine Olympus - to accept or not to accept? And everything happens like this... (Gods enter the hall.)

God of Work (addresses other gods): I, the God of Work - Truden - have gathered all of you on the professional Olympus and solemnly announce: we have a new candidate for retirement!

Gods: Oh, how great! How nice!

God of Work: Yes, that means we have work again! Now we will thoroughly check this candidate. I'll be the first to start!

Truden approaches the colleagues of the hero of the occasion and asks them questions: did she work well, did she help others out, did she quarrel with her superiors, etc.

God of Work: Well, candidate, you are lucky: your colleagues characterize you with dignity. But this is not enough. Come on, God of Vacation, now do your check!

God of Vacation: I am the God of Vacation - Gulban. Work without rest is like winter without snow. Now I’ll check if you’ve learned to rest properly!

1. Choose the right option (you, guests, can also choose - we’ll check you at the same time!) - Canary Islands, Maldives, Hawaii or dacha?

2. Question two: diving, surfing, snorkeling or fishing?

3. Question three: Martini, Hennessy, Jack Daniels or homemade wine?

God of Vacation (sums up): dreaming is not harmful, but you need to relax within your means!

God of Work: Okay. And now over to the Salary Goddess!

Goddess of Salary: I am the Goddess of Salary - Penny. It's time to say goodbye forever, dear candidate.

Do you remember how you waited for me every month? How did you count days and even minutes? And then, after waiting, she called me miserable, pathetic, insignificant! And then she spent it all, to the last...

But I don’t hold a grudge, it’s all in the past. Now will you meet the Goddess of Pension, and will you promise to protect and respect her? Do you promise that your children will not take her away from you? Do you promise to buy chocolates for your grandchildren with her help?

The hero of the occasion promises.

God of Work: So, candidate, you passed all the tests with honor! We officially accept you into the ranks of full-fledged pensioners and place you at the disposal of the Goddess of Pension!

Goddess of Pension: I am the Goddess of Pension - Pension! From now on, I’m taking patronage over you. But first, you need to take the pensioner’s oath.

Texts of sketches of new Russian grandmothers, pensioners of the future

Scene new Russian grandmothers pensioners in the future text

They enjoy the process, radiate positivity, enjoy life, which is why our scenes turn out to be easy. Although... Maybe they are just embarrassed to swear in front of us? (Laughs.) In addition to regular actors, guest stars will also appear in the show. Nikolai Valuev, Askold Zapashny, Dmitry Guberniev and many others will come to help Chvanov and Kasilov try on the images of security guards, guest workers, fascists or paratroopers.

The results of their experiments can be seen on the Rossiya channel very soon. A business consultant, journalist, artist, teacher and vice-president of a charitable foundation told us what they think about raising the retirement age Photo: RIA Novosti / Evgeny Epanchintsev.

Photo: facebook.com The Government of the Russian Federation approved one of the most important reforms of modern Russia. Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev spoke about the Cabinet of Ministers' proposals to change the country's pension system.

Let us recall that the government proposed raising the retirement age in Russia from 60 to 65 years for men and from 55 to 63 years for women. The reform will be gradual, starting in 2021 and lasting 15 years.

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New Russian grandmothers about retirement text of the skit

MATRYONA. Retired rocker?! FLOWER. Let me clarify. Metalworker-railroad worker.

MATRYONA. This mitigates the circumstances. Then pass on the information. FLOWER. I am interested in hunting and fishing. MATRYONA.

So, let's drink! FLOWER. According to unverified data, in moderation! I'll be more precise by nightfall! MATRYONA.

What about the economic side? FLOWER. Handyman! MATRYONA. Oh, Flower, my heart started beating!

Tell me, tell me more! FLOWER. Turns fifty-five years old today! MATRYONA. Ah, my mothers! My favorite male age!

FLOWER (confidentially). Listen, Matryon... (bends fingers, lists). A good specialist, not late for work, knows two languages!

It doesn’t smell like yeast... But it just smells like glamor! (Takes it out and reads it.) Hello, Mister!

Happy Birthday! To you - on my knees and with a prayer! Brad Pitt is on the ballot again, DiCaprio has gone on a drinking binge.

The full text of the poem is in the full version of the script.

MATRYONA. Wait, Flower, is this a telegram straight from Hollywood?!

FLOWER. Written - from Hollywood! Haven't you heard? You are invited to filming! MATRYONA. Is there a stamp? Dear friends!

Those who are interested in this script can write to me by email. The script is completed and edited individually. All details are in personal correspondence. One hundred percent! With a ponytail... MATRYONA (hisses).

Take your tail! Me too, lizard of the Mesozoic period! Any more information?! FLOWER (continues to inform).

Great family man! MATRYONA (slowly turns her head, looks reproachfully). Klavk, what kind of bitch are you?!

With one bullet, she killed me on the spot! FLOWER.

But she gave out all the information! (Into the hall, with enthusiasm).

What skits can be prepared for the Day of the Elderly?

October 1, 2021 marks the International Day of Older Persons. On this day, charity events, conferences, exhibitions, concerts, and amateur competitions are held.

2nd grandmother: - What are you talking about, neighbor, I haven’t done my homework yet... 1st grandmother: - What other lessons? It’s been a hundred years since you finished school, right? 2nd grandmother: - Yes? What about the grandchildren? Nowadays it is customary to do homework for your grandchildren.

I want to try it, although it’s probably very unpedagogical. Grandmother 1: - What are you talking about! I constantly do homework for my grandchildren. 2nd grandmother: – Really? Are you spoiling them like that? Grandmother 1: - I don’t spoil them!

I'm a strict grandmother. I only prepare drafts, but they always rewrite the whole thing themselves. 2nd grandmother: - Well, if it’s not difficult, check how I learned the verse... There is a green oak near the Lukomorye, A golden chain on that oak tree.

And day and night the dog is a scientist... 1st grandmother: - Wait, what dog? 2nd grandmother: - Well, I don’t know what breed he has, maybe a bulldog, maybe... 1st grandmother: - Not a dog, but a learned cat!

Understood? Cat! 2nd grandmother: - Ahhh... I understand. Well, I'll start first then. There is a green oak near the Lukomorye, a golden chain on the oak tree. Day and night, the learned cat goes to the grocery store with a string bag. 1st grandmother: - With what string bag, to what grocery store, where have you seen this?

2nd grandmother: - At the circus. The clown's cats don't do that yet. 1st grandmother:

Russian grandmothers pension of the future

If Russia became a country where 1 kopeck costs 35 dollars, then life for pensioners would become like what the new Russian grandmothers tell us in their miniature version - their pension is so huge that you need a suitcase on wheels to go to social security. And just look at Matryona Ivanovna!

Silk robe, royal furniture, Bentley... The flower is also not far behind - a vest made of silver fox, silicone breasts, which dentists do for pensioners as a bonus for free, of course, immediately after they put a gold crown with a 4-carat diamond. And how many other things the authors of the plot came up with: moonshine made from truffles, a Rolls-Royce for transporting potatoes, much more - and so everything is good, there’s not even anything to drink for. New Russian grandmothers, portraying pensioners in the future, are so captivating that you inevitably begin to dream with them.

I must say, it becomes quite boring from such a life.

But we have a wonderful duo who will cope with this problem with an A plus.

Now you and I all feel that our country is on the rise and moving forward.

What are they doing, monsters! “Don’t tell me, it’s such a heavy thing to carry.” Every month they raise and raise! Well, it’s no longer possible. Hey, let me give you half of it?

- Don’t give me anything, please. I myself received my allowance in three days and bought myself a Bentley.

We bring to your attention a comic scenario “New Russian grandmothers” for a holiday in a medical team.

This original script was written by Evelina Pizhenko. Thanks to the author for the wonderful script, talent and kindness.

Favorite Holiday recommends: On the eve of the holiday, we prepare a script and come up with an original greeting. However, what could be more fun and interesting for the hero of the occasion than receiving it on your phone on a significant day? Author – This scenario is suitable for any holiday in the medical team: Medic’s Day, March 8, anniversary date.

The script is made in the format of humorous dialogues between characters, alternating with musical numbers.

Characters: LEADING NEW RUSSIAN BABKA (Matryona and Flower) “MASHA RASPUTIN” “VERKA SERDIUCHKA” “STAS MIKHAILOV” “GRIGORY LEPS” On the stage there is a table with chairs.

In the foreground is the presenter. HOST. Dear friends! On this festive evening, I am especially pleased to congratulate everyone who has gathered in this hall on a wonderful event!

(It's called a holiday). Matryona and Flower appear on the stage, they with notebooks, pens, on tiptoe, carefully walk and sit down at the table. They express extreme attention with their entire appearance.

HOST (surprised). Girls... Sorry, but who are you?

MATRYONA (lays out her notebook and gets ready to write down). You, dear, speak, speak... FLOWER (also opens the notebook).

Don't pay any attention to us. HOST.

Mylenka, that’s the point, it’s a holiday! People will listen to congratulations,

Scenario "Day of the Elderly"

Round dance "Kuderyshki".
Congratulations to the heroes of the day.
Scene "Uhar-merchant".
Song "Lonely Accordion".
Games, competitions, dancing.
Country anthem-song.
Congratulations to the honorary pensioner poem "Gas-Oil".
Exhibition “Summer in store - winter in store”
Scene "Ex-BB".
Initiation into pensioners: presentation, oath, task.
The final song is "Tonight".
Ceremonial part: speech by officials.
Scene “New Russian grandmothers”.
Congratulations to the heroes of the day “I won’t brag, my dear.”
Distribute the exhibition on the guests' tables.
Performance of children's dance groups.

Prepare a list of exhibitors.
Prepare a list of participants (speakers) for the evening;
Prepare a list of anniversaries;
Prepare a list of people entering pensioner status;

cassettes with phonogram;
For the round dance “Kuderyshki”: your own shawls.
microphones;
For the scene “New Russian Grandmothers”: blouse, skirts, glasses;
costumes for scenes depicting pop stars;
Accessories for games;
prizes;
For the scene “Uhar the Merchant”: shawls (for girls), sundress, scarf, shirt, cap, coins, wigs, tray, glasses, bottle, earflaps, skirt, icon;
Drapery for exhibition;

"Katyusha";
“I won’t brag, darling”;
"Lonely accordion";
"Uhar-merchant";
"Tonight"
"Ex-BB";

Upon arrival, pensioners go to the hall, colorfully decorated with an autumn theme, gifts of autumn, and an exhibition. The evening is opened by the host. Q: Good evening, dear guests!

Hello! I sincerely congratulate you on your rightfully deserved day! A day when wisdom and life experience are celebrated throughout the country.

A day when tribute is paid to those who have lived a glorious, difficult life, who have good deeds and deeds behind them. So let

Transitional age, or “Adolescents” of the 21st century.

TRANSITIONAL AGE, OR “TEENS” OF THE 21st CENTURY Author – Evelina Pizhenko. A satirical grotesque sketch with a final song dedicated to raising the retirement age. Perfect for such holidays as Elderly Person's Day, Social Worker's Day, April Fool's Day and simply for any fun event or concert.

The duration of the scene is 20 minutes. Characters: BABA TANYUKHA. A 73-year-old “youth” of a new pre-retirement age.

She looks like she's 76 years old. The character is wild, the jaw is false, the hearing aid. BABA NATAKHA. A complete analogy of Baba Tanyukha, powdered with sclerosis: she constantly forgets to put on both the jaw and the apparatus.

Usually he only carries his character with him.

GRANDFATHER SEREGA. 74-year-old “yard boy”. Despite being a minor, I don’t mind taking an extra drop or two of Corvalol. Cocky, the “girls” like him.

GRANDFATHER DIMON. 71-year-old “young intellectual.” For the sake of authority, he tries to look like a scumbag.

Deputy's father. FRIENDSHIP. Age is unspecified, but it does not matter in her position.

A strict, incorruptible sneak. VOICE OVER (under Levitan). In connection with raising the retirement age, our deputies have made another important decision. Now the concept of “early childhood” has been extended to 50 years.

And up to 75, every citizen is considered a teenager! The scene is the lobby of a club. The sounds of music can be heard - there is a disco nearby.

Natakha and Tanyukha appear on stage. They are dressed and combed like a youth, and Baba Tanyukha is holding a shopping bag on wheels.

Baba Natakha is deaf, doesn’t hear anything, asks everything again. Each “girl” has a sleeve from a tonometer on her arm, the tonometers themselves are in their pockets, with tourniquets attached to them.

The grannies hobble with a shuffling gait, holding on to each other, looking around. BABA TANYUKHA. Nice! The music has already been played!

BABA NATAKHA. What?! BABA TANYUKHA. The music, I say, is already on! BABA NATAKHA.

What?! BABA TANYUKHA (in her hearts she yells right in Natasha’s ear).

They turned on the music! BABA NATAKHA (does not hear, but nods obediently). Got it, got it... Has the music already been turned on?

New Russian grandmothers about retirement text of the skit

- Why do you need such a wreck? » Watch online New Russian grandmothers - Pensioners New Russian grandmothers - Pensioners in the future Artist with a monologue: New Russian grandmothers - Pensioners in the near future In Latin: babki pensioneri budushego TV channel: Russia Duration: 6 min Availability: watch for free online Shown for the first time in aired: 2014 (from the TV show “This is funny” from November 22, 2014) - Hello, Matro, this is me! - Come in, Klav, the door is open.

What are you doing with your suitcase, where are you from, what are you carrying? — I went to receive my pension! Wow, look!

- Oh my mommies. Cool, they promoted me again.

What are the monsters doing, yes Klav. “Don’t tell me, it’s such a heavy thing to carry.”

Well, every month they raise and raise. Well, it’s no longer possible. Listen, let me give you half of it. Kolsky, 131a) there will be a tour of the cabaret duet “New Russian Grandmothers”,

Moscow. The cabaret duet “New Russian Grandmothers” is a comic pop duet of actors Igor Kasilov (Klavdia Ivanovna Tsvetochek) and Sergei Chvanov (Matryona Ivanovna Nigmatullina). After graduating from the institute, they created a comedy duet and appeared before the public in the unusual image of two perky old ladies. “New Russian Grandmothers” were loved by the public for their simple, but very subtle humor that everyone could understand.

Matryona and Flower are going to present to the public their new program Y.M.O.R.

In rubles only official. I hope that you will also receive your pension in dollars! New Russian Grandmothers are a comic pop duet of actors Igor Kasilov (Klavdiya Ivanovna Tsvetochek) and Sergei Chvanov (Matryona Ivanovna Nigmatullina).

The duet was created in the 1990s, when Kasilov and Chvanov worked together on Samara television. They achieved local popularity on the air of the Tolyatti radio station “August”. At first, Igor and Sergey played small screensavers in the form of granny dialogues, and a few months later they went live.

Attention At the peak of their popularity, the video cassette “150 mules from grannies” appeared.

In 1999 they performed in the Evgeniy Petrosyan Cup of Humor. At the same time, the first solo concert of the “grandmothers” took place at the Variety Theater.

New Russian grandmothers at the casting of brides or New Russian Zol

Sayanova NEW RUSSIAN BABKI AT THE CASTING OF BRIDES (or NEW RUSSIAN CINDERELLA) Proscenium: New Russian Grandmas appear and approach the porch. trying to climb it. The guard blocks their path. The guard: - Stop, stop, stop! Where are you going, miss? Grandmothers: - We're going to the kostinka.

Guard: - Here we have, excuse me, CASTING. Matryona: - My God! What passions! (turns to Flower) I’m telling you, Flower, they won’t let us in the door.

Flower: - Wait, Matryon, don’t be afraid, just open up a little.

(Tries to unbutton Matryona's jacket, Matryona waves her hands at her) Matryona: - You're crazy, Flower!

Rejoice?! No urine! You are ready, light, to demonstrate the skeleton. Flower: - I, Matryon, am always ready, Just to get married again.

Matryona: - Are you for the prince?! My little flower, you are not on friendly terms with your head!

Flower: - You, Matryon, stop swearing.

If only we could get to the ball.

Matryona: - What? Will you order me to undress? Flower: - Well, how could it be otherwise?

Matryona: - We need to get a dress, And a cooler outfit, To look better. Flower: - No, Matryon, a swimsuit for you. Matryona: - Will you close your bread box?

I am not you, to show off my skeleton in my old age. (turns and walks towards the backstage) Flower: (catches up with her, pulls her back) - Okay, I was joking.

Matryona (stops) - I wish I’d twisted my tongue less.

Flower: - Listen, Matryon, I know a way out. (whispers in Matryon’s ear) Look, behind that barn there is a hole in the royal fence.

Matryona: - Wow! Flower6 - Let's put on our masks!

Matryona: - There’s a sponge hanging on a stake - Why didn’t you tell me right away?

Flower: - I wanted, like all these, so that with honor, at the banquet.

Matryona: - You will do without honor if you sneak into the hole. Flower: - I, friend, will make my way, But you are a fat goose.

Matryona: - What geese are you talking about? Look, you lark in the field! Come on, climb into the hole, the Phoenix bird is at the feast.

(hiding behind the scenes) ACT 1 Hall in the palace.

On the foreground to the right is the royal family, the Tsar on the throne, flanked by the Tsarina and the Tsarevich. Tsarevich: (dissatisfied tone)

Your right

Artist with a monologue: New Russian grandmothers - Pensioners in the near future In Latin: babki pensioneri budushego TV channel: Russia Duration: 6 min Availability: free to watch online First aired: 2014 (from the TV show “This is funny” from 22.11 .2014) - Hello, Matro, it’s me! - Come in Klav, the door is open.

What are you doing with your suitcase, where are you from, what are you carrying? - I went to get my pension!

Oh, look! - Oh my mommies. Cool, they promoted me again. What are the monsters doing, yes Klav. - Don’t say, it’s such a heavy thing to carry.

Well, every month they raise and raise. Well, it’s no longer possible. Listen, let me give you half of it. “Don’t give me anything, please.”

I myself received an allowance for three days, bought myself a Bentley. - Why do you need such a wreck, I don’t understand. - To take potatoes to the market. - And recently they brought me a Rolls-Royce from the Security Council, oh, you know, it can fit as many as 8 bags of potatoes, and my bags are big!— APCHHIIII.

-Are you crazy to sneeze so loudly!

God forbid anyone hears. - What? - Nothing!

I was recently walking down the street, not touching anyone, and I sneezed.

The ambulance arrived immediately, RIGHT HERE!

They took me to a sanatorium in the Maldives.

She screamed, fought back, to no avail.

2 weeks All Inclusive. - Klava, what the heck, but the Security Council gave me a ticket to Courchevel. - To a camp site or what? - Yes. The main thing I tell them is, are you crazy, what a Courchevel, I’ll leave the cattle to someone else. I had to take it with me. I put cows on skis, and I myself snowboarded with chickens.

Ugh! - Why are you spitting, didn’t you like it or what? - Klav, the beast has become painfully spoiled, until it gets up on skis, it will give you horseradish milk, and the rooster has gone crazy, you know, instead of crowing in the morning, he yells - COURCHAVEVEL! Do you hear, I went to the dentist yesterday, and look, I inserted a filling for myself. - Diamond? - Aha! - How many carats? - 400! Isho they gave me a bonus! Look! Breasts!— This is where such halimanjars grew from on such a level place. — All veterans of labor are entitled to it!

They also gave me a new apartment from the mayor’s office.

So uncomfortable. Huge. I use the navigator in it. At night I’ll enter “Toilet” into the navigator and go!

Source: https://agrodiskont.ru/teksty-scenok-novyh-russkih-babok-pensionery-buduschego-89488/

A funny scene for seeing off your retirement

A participant comes out, poorly dressed, in a headscarf, approaches the future pensioner and sings her a song to the tune of “I’m standing at a stop in a colorful half-shawl.”

You are smart, beautiful, I like everything about you so much! I suggest we be strong friends! After all, you are now free, I confess publicly: It’s so fun to live on retirement!

So that we can have a glass, I’ll take a reliable Russian antidepressant out of my purse! (takes out a bottle of vodka) We will drink to our friendship And we will raise optimism, After all, a pension is a guarantor of stability!

Scene-remake of the song “Call me, call”

During the introduction before the song, one person at a time comes out and stands with their back to the hero of the day; their hands should not be visible - a white school apron is hidden in them; for the introduction, they put on aprons and turn to the hero of the day, in general, so that there is intrigue and surprise.

The days flew by, Your turn has come, In the management of your family Try on the role of the hero of the day. Our service is the only one You gave all of yourself, Thirty-five years were waiting for him Thirty-five years were waiting for him - The long-awaited graduation!

All exams were passed in local Dumas and the Ministry of Finance. All budgets have been consolidated, and reforms have been experienced. So the labor code gave you permission for your length of service, To come to the financial department, To come to the financial department Anniversary graduation!

We want to confess to you: We respect you very much, We say to you from the bottom of our hearts: Happy anniversary! We have been given traditions, We do not deviate from them: We are starting graduation, We are starting graduation! Call, call!

They turn towards the place where they will take out the “first-grader” with a bell

Source

A comic skit for the hero of the day retiring “Broken Heart”

Seeing off to a well-deserved retirement a colleague with whom you have worked for many years, shared victories and failures, and perhaps were friends during non-working hours, is always a little sad, so congratulations are usually of a sad and solemn nature.
But it’s worth rejoicing at the young pensioner and charging him with positivity, especially if the culprit or culprit is not devoid of a sense of humor. A comic skit will especially benefit if the participants act expressively and with good humor, and if you prepare high-quality and beautiful props in advance, especially since they will be given as a gift. Colleagues can give such a performance either at an anniversary banquet or directly at the workplace.

Accessories and props for the scene

2. A bottle of water with the inscription “Bitter tears of separation.” The strength can be equated to the number of employees of the team where the hero of the day worked.

3. Two clean scarves of different sizes . One scarf is very small and the other is very large.

- a sign with the name of the service (department, etc.) where the hero of the occasion worked; - inscription: BOARD GAME PENSIONER – PIONEER “BROKEN HEART”

- hearts with the words: “the kindest”, “the smartest”, “the most original”, “the most diplomatic”, etc. The number of hearts glued on the box should fit harmoniously into the overall design.

- a sheet with the following text in a frame is pasted on the bottom of the box:

INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE BOARD GAME

PIONEER PENSIONERS “BROKEN HEART”:

It's a pity for everyone to part with you,

Broke our hearts, oh, oh, oh,

You put all the pieces together.

And remember us more often

New Russian grandmothers pension

And just look at Matryona Ivanovna! Silk robe, royal furniture, Bentley... The flower is also not far behind - a vest made of silver fox, silicone breasts, which dentists do for pensioners as a bonus for free, of course, immediately after they put a gold crown with a 4-carat diamond.

And how many other things the authors of the plot came up with: moonshine made from truffles, a Rolls-Royce for transporting potatoes, much more - and so everything is good, there’s not even anything to drink for. New Russian grandmothers, portraying pensioners in the future, are so captivating that you inevitably begin to dream with them. I must say, it becomes quite boring from such a life. But we have a wonderful duo who will cope with this problem with an A plus.

Source: https://smeshnoe-video.net/676-novye-russkie-babki-pensiya.html

Script for a comic skit for a pensioner “Broken Heart”

Either luck or bad luck,

“WAITING WALL” came to visit us!

First colleague (addressing the hero of the day, laments) Oh, yes, why are you leaving us, red sun, light... (name of the hero of the day)?! Oh yes, why did you decide to leave us?! Oh, and there was something, and oh, yes, there is something that I can learn from you now, your priceless experience will always come in handy! Yes, you, like a dear mother, looked after your colleagues, were an unspoken mentor, but our affairs with you grew uphill, and did not slide downhill. Yes, our team seemed to be riding along a smooth path, not jumping through potholes, and not jumping over potholes of stupidity. Yes, you and I were not afraid of government papers or quitrents, nor were we afraid of robbers in the dark business forests. Yes, we lived behind you, as if behind a stone wall, we didn’t bother, yes, we cracked strict checks with your wisdom like seeds, yes, gratitude flowed to us like a river, yes, everyone in the area respected us (Takes out a small handkerchief and begins to use it, as if to wipe away tears)

Second colleague (to the first): Is it possible to wipe away tears of regret with THIS (speaks with irony, pressing on this word) small handkerchief?! (he then speaks solemnly, chanting, wailing, and addressing the hero of the day). After all, what kind of specialist retires!? Oh, how much he knows, yes, oh, how much he means in our team! Treats colleagues with kindness, knows how to both demand and sympathize (again edifyingly, addressing the first colleague) This is the kind of scarf you need to take! (And with pathos he takes out a huge handkerchief and begins to use it, as if to wipe away his tears)

Third colleague (addressing the first and second with reproach): Yes, can you find a suitable handkerchief for the number of tears that the bosses shed over the departure of such a wonderful employee?! Look (points to the bottle) after all, how many bitter ones they have cried! And all because the separation from such a wonderful professional is irreparable and inevitable! (Shakes his head sadly and meaningfully shows the bottle of tears again)

The fourth colleague (addressing all three colleagues, says meaningfully): Yes, is it really about the TEARS?! (waves his hand doomedly) The HEART (speaks with emphasis on this word) of our team with her departure (name of the hero of the day) broke. We collected it piece by piece and put it in a box (shows everyone the box with the “board game”). And so that you (name of the hero of the day) remember us more often (addresses the hero of the day), we wrote something on each fragment of this “heart”. (Opens the box and takes out one “piece” from the box) From this photo (name of the hero of the day) a face you know is smiling, that’s how well he wrote for you (Reads out the wish written on the back of the photo).

New Russian grandmothers - Pension

Now you and I all feel that our country is on the rise and moving forward. People's well-being is improving, wages are rising, and pensions are regularly increasing. If this continues, let's imagine what the life of ordinary pensioners will be like in 10 years.

-Come in, Klav, the door is open. What about your suitcase? Where are you getting what from?

— I went to collect my pension. Wow, look!

- Klav, what is this, they promoted you again or what? What are they doing, monsters!

“Don’t tell me, it’s such a heavy thing to carry.” Every month they raise and raise! Well, it’s no longer possible. Hey, let me give you half of it?

- Don’t give me anything, please. I myself received my allowance in three days and bought myself a Bentley.

- Why do you need such a wreck? »

Watch online New Russian Grandmas - Pensioners

Source: https://nash-umor.ru/novye-russkie-babki/213-novye-russkie-babki-pensionery

I SHARE No. 149. RETIREMENT SCENARIOS.

SCENARIO “WEEKING AWAY FOR PENSION” Presenter: Today is an important day. Today our honored (full name) is going on vacation. All your friends and relatives will accompany you on this journey. On this day, a lot of people gathered for your holiday. We see you off on vacation, that’s just the way things are in life. And so as not to succumb to sadness, We repeat again and again: Rest is our happiness! Everyone is ready to rest. Presenter 2: You worked hard and for a long time, you deserve honor and the right to rest. Now we will remember this day and think of you as an example. Retirement may scare some people worse than going to the dentist. But don’t judge (name) strictly. Today we will dance the cha-cha-cha. How to deserve retirement? Maybe each of us can do this. But our pensioner goes there with a sense of accomplishment. Next, you need to list the main dates of the pensioner’s activities. It is necessary that as many details as possible are listed starting from kindergarten. Find photos, simulate a slide show and show them to everyone present. For example: Presenter 1: In the preparatory group in... year I began to study.... (description of the child). He was smart, persistent and cheerful. (name) entered kindergarten - also a description, for example - a child of average height, in the prime of life, with excellent prospects. (Name, surname, patronymic) entered school number ... city ..., who knew how to draw, read with expression and do push-ups on the uneven bars. When listing dates, you need to disclose the cases in as much detail as possible. For example, show certificates, name merits, participation in amateur performances, victories in some competitions, character traits. List friends, classmates, fellow students, etc. Briefly describe them. When it comes to describing work achievements, be sure to list them starting with the year of work. Briefly describe the profession itself. Read the verse: We respect you as a person, you are very brave and kind. Everyone can have numbers for the century, That will not be old at all. We congratulate you today, because rest has now arrived for you. The words will sound unapproachable and proud, We wish you to take more strength! For the speech that will be dedicated to school, this is a dedication: We enter school with hope. Will the plan come true in life? We dream about our own, as before. Let everyone decide their own fate. We have gathered today, because today we were given a reason. Everyone can be young at heart, So that, like in school, there is a lot of strength. Presenter 2: Dear (full name), today our task is to report on your achievements. But we also want to give you a gift. Today is a special day. We give you our gift and want you to remember this day by using this (name of item). This should be followed by a logical justification for why the pensioner is given this particular gift. You can write something with humor, but according to the occasion. Presenter 1: So we shared our mood. It is solemn and sublime. And now we give the trade union committee the opportunity to speak out. Trade union committee: Dear pensioner, We congratulate you from the bottom of our hearts. You are a constant example for us! You cannot reproach life. We are not looking forward to seeing you at work tomorrow! Let your holiday begin brighter. Soon we will also join the ranks of those who solve pension problems. Presenter 1: We want to congratulate you on joining the special ranks. This is not an army, but pensioners also have their own teams. For example - “Grandchildren”, or “To the garden”. We are giving you this pension type ticket. Now you are in a special army. There is applause. They give a comic army-type ticket for pensioners. Presenter 2. Now let’s loudly shout triple cheers. Congratulations on retirement! Three cheerful cheers should sound.

After the guests are seated at the table, a toast is expected from the boss

Options are offered to congratulate the hero of the day. The group Voni Em (You don’t need to go into history) came from distant Nigeria. Three participants and a participant come out, wearing black nylon stockings on their heads, (like blacks) the music is turned on, the participants imitate singing. After the music stops, they read congratulatory poems with an accent: They say that good wine will become real only over the years, So this kind of magic will definitely be with us!

For example, our dear hero of the day has had good endurance, And at sixty he is a unique specimen, He remains young in soul and body!

And your round date has only increased your price, So let’s ask everyone now The priceless culprit to the stage!

Stand tall, our hero of the day, And listen to our instructions, We dedicate a circular to you, And in it - congratulations from the heart!

Like a unique variety of wine, Krepchay, our dear, over the years. And let the taste of happiness reach the bottom, Pour a glass and drink with us.

Let this festive drink lift your spirits and let happiness flow over the edge on your anniversary birthday.

Retirement skit

Montage (from Soviet traditions)

1. It seemed that this date would not come, Days, years, decades fled... And now this day has come - the day of your 55th anniversary.

2. Let this day not add wrinkles, but smooth out and erase the old ones, and bring happiness to the house for a long time. We wish you to live without knowing troubles, without knowing bad weather, and to have enough health, kindness and happiness for 100 years!

3. There are only two numbers five and five. But how much they mean, and how different everything looks. Only on how to present them... Add them up - there will be only ten And childhood is seen again... It’s still impossible to weigh everything in life. But I want to hug the whole world.

4. Multiply - it will be twenty-five Diseases are still unknown. Ready to hug your friends And you want to live and be useful.

5. Two numbers next to each other are five and five. You know how to weigh and argue. Not many people want to hug. But you know life And you can build and rebuild again.

(to the tune of the song “Black Cat”)

If the blues suddenly set in, you’re in a bad mood in the morning, dial your friends’ phone numbers, gather them around the table on your birthday.

Chorus: They say that you will be lucky if your birthday comes to your house again. This happens every year. May you have less trouble.

There’s a bustle at work all day, Life is somehow not the same these days. So let's take a break from your problems - On your birthday they leave.

Chorus: They say that you will be lucky if your birthday comes to your house again. This happens every year. May it bring you a lot of happiness!

If suddenly your body goes crazy, Something somewhere hurts again, Don’t think about it seriously And please don’t give up.

Chorus: They say that you will be lucky if your birthday comes to your house again. This happens every year. May he bring health with him.

SKETCH “LITTLE PENSIONER”

Today we gave birth to a little pensioner. You all know how capricious little ones can be, they are afraid of colds, and they have a lot of smarts, so to prevent her ears from getting swollen, her head from getting hot, and also to prevent different thoughts from creeping into her head, we decided to give her a cap.

And you all know that little ones are so inept and so clumsy that when they eat, they get dirty themselves and dirty everything that surrounds them. To prevent this from happening, we give her a bib.

And I also want to add to the above that little pensioners get upset about any reason, they always worry very loudly, so their eyes are always wet. So that our pensioner would not cry, we decided to give her a pacifier.

For merits on the anniversary Award with a large medal With a red ribbon with it.

Wearing requires decorum. There is no point in forcing a medal. A badge of special distinction. Only wear on holidays.

Choose the place to wear sparingly, To please people. Let it hang above the navel and a little lower than the breasts.

Protect that medal from wax. Do not take it into greasy hands. On paydays and advance payments, wipe it with fresh vodka.

Make all movements boldly, looking into the distance, straightening your hair and stroking the medal.

Don't chat, don't smile, don't shake everyone's hands. You can’t lie on your boss’s native chest Without a medal.

Keep the medal in the apartment and in a box under lock and key. For storage, degrease with vodka or cognac.

If this medal is lost, do not consider it as an award; exclude it from the celebrants of the day; and remove the medal.

ORDER FOR A WORKING PENSIONER (given by a pensioner from the team)

In order to protect your place at work, don’t contradict your bosses, Never get into the bottle, passionately defending what’s right!

Stand at attention in front of your superiors, And behind your back you can scold, After all, living on a pension is not so fat, And it would be nice to receive a salary plus! And, by the way, why teach you, you yourself will teach anyone how to live.

RUSSIAN NEW BABKA

Dialogue about how they came to the anniversary, but didn’t see any pensioners. There are only “young people” sitting there. Next they bring Ostap Bender, whom they met on the road.

OSTAP BENDER WITH A GIFT

Ostap donates his chairs, which he searched all over the world, as a gift to a young pensioner. There is a treasure in one of the chairs. The hero of the day’s task is to find him. This will be his gift.

Song to the tune of “Hope”

1. Our years fly by like birds, leaving an ineradicable trace. Now you are already 55 We congratulate you from the bottom of our hearts. May the sun shine above you And the sadness of fate not disturb you. Happy anniversary, good fate, Happy holiday - happy and good.

Chorus: Galina, our dear friend Congratulations on your anniversary Galina, always be young, You will still have time to grow old.

2. May you be protected in all your paths by the light of your home, May the attention of your family please you, and the respect of your loved ones and friends. Days fly by with business, Years fly by with work, Let them be happy. Let adversity fly by.

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