Comic oath of a retired man. Interesting and funny retirement scenarios

We meet the hero of the occasion - confetti, red carpet, fresh flowers, or a crown and throne. We meet at the door, he (she) appears. Meeting with colorful fabrics or ribbons (7 pieces)

We will greet ___________________ with colorful flowers, After all, there were different stages in life. We want to repeat these steps, because you probably haven’t forgotten them. _____________________ (m-c), _____________ (date), year ____ - th - A boy was born, (a girl) so good...

He’s just a baby, and that’s why everything was PURPLE to him. Childhood then is a golden time, Life is carefree, like a game. Even though he (was) a smart guy (girl), but in childhood he still had a GREEN youth... it’s a pity, it won’t be like that anymore...

This is, of course, the color BLUE. In his youth he met his love, and together he and ______________ created a family. They were young, beautiful... We choose the color BLUE.

The children were born - there is no one more beloved! Let it be ORANGE (WHITE) color... I was always loaded with hard work. The light is YELLOW.

And now - your holiday - solid, beautiful, Let it be bright, walk under RED!

For all the heroes of the occasion at such moments, we are all ready to give endlessly, together... APPLAUSE!!!

_______________ (name) ours is amazing! We want you to invite all the guests to the table now!

Good evening dear friends, relatives, colleagues! Today, on this beautiful day, in such a solemn and warm atmosphere, we have gathered in this cozy hall in order to congratulate everyone’s beloved and respected ____________________. Let's try today to make sure that the smile does not leave our (his) ________ face, and her (his) eyes shine with happiness... I sincerely welcome all the guests gathered here and gladly open this holiday!

This day brought us together and united us, ______________ eclipsed everyone in a place of honor, because it’s not for nothing that today he was awarded by fate - this date, which is popularly called dear! Even if it’s the beginning of the century outside, we won’t change traditions; let’s sip a glass of wine for a dear person. May this day go down in history forever, and may ___________________ bring only happiness! And let the guests have fun carelessly, I hope no one leaves the holiday sad! To start the celebration as it should be, everyone is invited to fill their glasses!!!

Before the spouse's toast

: Dear guests! You are all witnesses that the light of one star does not fade in our horizon. And by the way, there is a fan among us who has been studying this for many years... One day they met and fell in love with each other, and live together to this day... Of course you guessed it - I’m talking about the precious 2nd half, this is...

1st toast ________________

Guest introduction

Wonderful charm, tenderness, grace for the hero of the occasion, for the charming one, your ovation!!

Let's prolong the wonderful moments For the husband (wife), your applause!

This evening, the pleasant excitement of the guests of honor is the performance. We have a lady present here. Sister __________________! Cousins () Are here Now there will be a storm of applause in the hall!

There is always peace in your soul when your sons (daughters) are next to you. Mom (Dad) have them very good, let's clap our hands for that

And now I’ll tell you more simply: Your beloved daughters-in-law will congratulate you on the holiday. They are all here and waiting for applause too!

And for his grandmother (grandfather), on such a beautiful day, the grandchildren are here, now gathered. They've been waiting for applause. And now let's greet the matchmakers together! We really need their presence.

I would like to introduce you to my wonderful, devoted friends!!! They are also waiting for applause. Show yourself where you are!

Now let's clap our hands. and to all the guests, good luck to you!

Meeting the guests

2 toast ___________________________

Thoughts on who arrived on what

We ______________________ present a retirement apron.

He is an indicator of the start of a new life. They sewed special pockets on it. And they decided to explain their meaning:

1. Pocket number one, gets on your nerves: Pension pocket. A pension for work is a reward, and a big pocket is a joy. The pension is hanging out in him, and it’s hard to believe that it doesn’t end!

2. The second pocket is not so big. Pocket for gifts for grandchildren. Don't put gifts in the chest. To treat your grandchildren, keep them in your pocket at the ready.

3. The third pocket is like a trap for a stash. Hide it far, hide it deep, so that no one finds it, so that no one takes it away!

4. Pocket fourth, the most worn. Pocket for glasses. Put your glasses in your pocket, and don’t try to use them often. Resist vision loss.

5. Fifth pocket, for seed bags. Pocket for individual work activities. Sow your garden. Harvest the harvest. Without pickles and preserves, retirement will not be paradise.

6. Pocket six - time to rest. Pocket for seeds. Sitting on a bench, click the seeds. You retired, you found extra time. Wear ______________ apron and don’t take it off, treat your friends to tea! Now you have a free life: Ahead is the “free program”:

If you want, sleep, but if you want, have fun. If you want, starve, but if you want, get better (Only this task is difficult to complete: Eating a lot of fat is impossible today!) If you want, open a cooperative, If you want, travel, taking out a letter of credit.

Both Monaco and Valencia are waiting for you (If you have income other than a pension!) If you want, watch a movie in the morning, Or open the window wide and hula-hoop for hours.

If you don’t want to “twist”, lie down. Now you can relax peacefully, love, make friends, walk at night (after all, you can sleep in the morning!) and see friends more often, and read different books!

3 toast ________________________________

Competition by choice

PENSION CERTIFICATES with the following comment. You must make this certification yourself. On the front side write who it was given to, and on the other side the following wish:

Once you receive the book, take care of it - They won’t give you money without a book, oh my! Be a girl at heart, Jump like a goat, But respect this little book because you can travel without taking a ticket.

If you want, you’ll fold your arms, If you don’t have the desire to go to work And break your back. Just what will you buy for a bite?

When you receive your pension, you will live for five days and rush off singing the song Work hard again! They give us such a pension for a reason - So that we never grow old, friends!

For this concern of Dear Authorities, we will not leave work until our last days!!!

Oath of a young pensioner

Leading

: Today we accept our ……….. into the society of pensioners (
name of state
) and take an oath from her:

I, a young pensioner of _________ (name of country), joining the honorary society of pensioners, working and non-working, moderate drinkers and non-drinkers, poking my nose everywhere, solemnly swear: To be a worthy member of society, that is, to constantly be of sound spirit and sound body Don’t let yourself be knocked down by the wind, illness, or drunkenness.

She):

I swear!

Leading

Work tirelessly, without stretching your legs. Walk confidently along any road! I swear!

Leading

Be sharp on the tongue, eyes and ears. Don’t give in to sadness, illness, or cold! I swear!

Leading

Drink only with friends, and then little by little. Always find a path to the house. I swear!

Leading

: Dear ___________________! We accept you into the ranks so that you will not know trouble. Don’t get sick, don’t be discouraged, eat more, sleep better. Be cheerful and don’t swear, never worry. Young so that a pensioner can do everything and manage to do everything. To live, when everything is in moderation, to the title of honorary pensioner. And when you are a hundred, we will set this table again!

Competitions, costume show

Competition by choice

There is another OATH OF A YOUNG PENSIONER Ved.: Today we accept our……….. into the society of pensioners of Russia and take an oath from her: I, a young pensioner of Russia, joining the honorary society of pensioners, working and non-working, moderate drinkers and non-drinkers, sticking my nose everywhere, I solemnly swear: To be a worthy member of society, that is, to constantly be in a sound spirit and a sound body. Do not allow yourself to be brought down by either the wind, or illness, or drunkenness. Jubilee: I swear! Ved.: Work tirelessly, without stretching your legs. Walk confidently along any of the roads. Jubilee: I swear! Ved.: Be sharp with your tongue, eyes and ears. Do not give in to sadness, illness, or cold! Jubilee: I swear! Ved.: Drink only with friends, and then little by little. Always find a path to the house. Jubilee: I swear! Ved.: Dear………………………. ! We accept you into the ranks so that you will not know trouble. Don’t get sick, don’t be discouraged, eat more, sleep better. Be cheerful and don’t swear, never worry. Young so that a pensioner can do everything and manage to do everything. To live, when everything is in moderation, to the title of honorary pensioner. And when you are a hundred, we will set this table again! Advice for a young pensioner

Have you retired? Congratulations and envy! Use our tips to get incredible pleasure from it. First of all, go to the hardware store and buy the biggest hammer you can. Ask why? That's right, it's better to buy a sledgehammer or a two-pound weight. Bring it home and slowly start hitting the alarm clock, saying: “Well, you bastard, now you’ll know how to mock!” Then lay out the sofa, move the refrigerator next to it and sleep for a week, getting up only when nature calls. After you've slept, go outside. Go to a store where there have been no queues for a long time, and, having personally convinced yourself that your pension is still not enough for anything, do not buy anything. Take your phone into the bathroom and talk for hours, floating up and down into the fragrant light foam, like a mermaid (option for women) or like a submarine (option for men). Grandchildren call, children ask for money, strangers bother you, and you say to them: “Hello! What am I doing? I’m lying in the bath.” Then call the doctor at home and, when he’s still at the door, he sarcastically asks: “Are you counting on the ballot?” Proudly answer: “I don’t care about this ballot!” And then take it anyway, but don’t go close it, let them worry about how to write it off! Finally, watch the live broadcast from the next meeting of the State Duma, and with health benefits. To do this, you need to sit in a chair, turn on the TV, turn off the sound, close your eyes, and you will have the same effect as from Kashpirovsky’s session. And put flowers in a jar of water charged from the transmission as a memory of the glorious labor past. You can try to voice the decisions of the Duma yourself, where the President will hear the high figures of your new pension, a specific day for the free distribution of cars (one to each pensioner), even if only domestically produced, for your selfless work for the good of the Motherland. The rest can be thought out as you wish. But seriously, a pensioner is also a position. Grandchildren will come and again no personal life! Therefore, I would like to amend the law on pensions: “Everyone is allowed to take a year of pension at a time convenient for him and upon request.” After all, life is given to a person once, and you want to live it well, at least in retirement! At least one year!

CEREMONY “DEDICATION TO PENSIONERS” Presenter: Ring your glasses on Anniversary nights. We are guests of the holiday, we want to perform. The era of the Bright Years is approaching - Become a pensioner Always be prepared! With joyful laughter, With the song of friends, You celebrate a big anniversary! The time has come for the Great Years. Become a pensioner Always be prepared! The hero of the day, And you look like nothing Lose a couple of years Be ready! -Always ready!

“You’re retiring,” everyone at the table says. Have happy dreams there Be prepared! -Always ready!

To live on your pension, you must be friends with your diet! Eat cake with your pension. Are you ready to invite us all? -Always ready!

Compress your retirement day to the limit, and don’t sit idle for hours. So that after six there is nothing left to do, are you ready for this? -Always ready!

Our hero of the day became an example, you have become an excellent pensioner!

Of course, it is necessary and important to start with the design. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a banquet hall or an apartment, everything should have a festive look. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to hang photographs of the future pensioner on the walls, or make one large collage poster. Also, don’t forget about balloons and ribbons, paper garlands and lights. The second stage of preparing the holiday is musical accompaniment. Here it is necessary not only to take into account the taste of the person retiring, but also the age characteristics of the invitees. Next, according to the menu plan, the seating of the guests, and now, almost everything is ready.

Characters

: Presenter, Presenter, guests.

Props

: gifts for competitions, a “Happy Retirement” diploma, cards with phrases, a bag, pieces of paper with the names of songs, a bag.

The guests are seated, the future pensioner sits at the head of the table.

Presenter: Good evening, ladies, gentlemen, I’m glad to see everyone, I’m friends, The reason for the meeting is excellent, Pension has arrived, hurray!

Presenter: (Full name of the hero of the occasion), Today all the lights are for you, And at this moment, and at this hour, I congratulate you from the bottom of my heart, May your dreams come true!

Presenter: The first toast, to the venerable management, because you, like no one else, know our esteemed (full name of the hero of the occasion).

(Management says)

Presenter: Today’s evening promises to be interesting, and now, I would like to start by presenting an honorary diploma to the honorable (full name of the hero of the occasion)

.
I warn you, this is not an easy confirmation of your pension, it is a kind of ticket to a new life, and a solemn reminder of the path traveled (hands over a diploma)
.

The diploma should be humorous. For example, it should say the following: The diploma is awarded (full name of the hero of the occasion)

, for excellent mastery of the following vital disciplines: - Mathematics - excellent (mastery of your finances, in particular nest eggs, thorough); - Geography - excellent (in any condition and under any circumstances finds the way home); - Russian language - excellent (can easily agree on everything); — Music is good (not a bad game on the nerves of loved ones and colleagues). Based on the above disciplines, we can say with confidence that we are ready for the next stage - retirement!

Presenter: We worked so hard, it’s time to rest, The years have flown by quickly, But a pension is necessary in life, And you can’t go anywhere without it!

Presenter: You know, (names the year when the hero of the occasion went to first grade)

in one of the ordinary schools, there was one smart, intelligent boy, with very kind eyes and a big heart.
He grew, developed, became a person and made his own plans. In (the year of entering the institute)
, everything became obvious and understandable.
Dreams appeared that needed to be quickly realized, ambitions, aspirations, and now, after a long search, that same smart boy came to (name of organization)
.
Then it was (the year of starting work)
, excitement, fear, mastering a new activity, meeting colleagues and a long-awaited salary. Everything is the same as everyone else, everything is the same as always, but one thing made it different from the others (names the main quality of the hero of the occasion). And here it is, the long-awaited retirement, on which your colleagues rush to congratulate you.

(A short slide show can be shown here if the establishment has a projector)

Presenter: I would like to know now how you will congratulate, But, I will complicate the task, And I will order a rhyme for you!

Competition "Rhyme-making"

. From all those present, 5-6 participants are selected and given one rhyme. The task is to come up with a greeting. Time spent 1 minute. Then everyone reads out the results and the best one will receive a prize. The winner will be determined by applause.

Rhyme options: 1) I hasten to congratulate you on your retirement, And wish you well...

2) So the pension has come, it has brought happiness and rest...

3) The event is important, you can’t argue with it, I need a pension, my friend, to fall in love...

4) Happy retirement to you, hurray, The years have passed so quickly...

Presenter: All congratulations are beautiful and special, but it seems to me that it’s time to read out my congratulations to family members!

Presenter: Congratulations, this is of course good, but how about we praise our (full name of the hero of the occasion)

Competition "Praise me, praise me."

5-6 participants are selected. Everyone must say a laudatory adjective based on the given letter of the leader. The one who names the most will win. For repetition - elimination.

(The presenter offers a drink for all the positive and mentioned qualities)

Presenter (addresses the hero of the occasion)

: But tell me, what do you think you will do in retirement?

(After answer)

Presenter: It’s probably good to be retired, You walk in the garden, relax on the sofa, In retirement, there’s no fuss, it’s easy, The whole day is filled with dreams. There is time for yourself and for your family, And you don’t have to get up early in the morning, If you want, draw, read, write poetry, Or even memoirs.

Advance preparation is required. You need to write on the cards the continuation of the phrase “I will retire,” put them in a bag, and have the host of the event pull out one at a time and read it out. You will need: cards with phrases, a bag.

Example phrases. In retirement I will... 1. ... knit socks and scarves; 2. ... read the magazine “Murzilka”; 3. ... discuss fashionistas at the entrance; 4. ... ring the neighbors doorbell and run away; 5. ... listen to music loudly, setting the rhythm for the neighbors; 6. ...dress fashionably and seduce local old ladies; 7. ... play football with local kids; 8. ... learn to be a hacker; 9. ... do nothing and just enjoy life.

Presenter: (Offers a drink so that everything will be so, after which a 15-minute dance break is announced)

Presenter: I announce a musical break! Dear friends, you will agree that there is no holiday without a song, so I propose that it is not easy to sing, but also to get the opportunity to win a small but pleasant prize.

Competition "Song".

Requires preparation. First, put pieces of paper with the names of the songs in a bag and mix. Several participants are selected. Everyone pulls out a piece of paper and gets their song. The task is to “show” the song without words. You cannot make sounds, hum tunes, you need to use gestures to explain which song you got. When they guess right, sing. Time for each participant is no more than a minute. Whoever shows the fastest and guess whose song will win a prize. You will need: pieces of paper with the names of the songs, a bag.

Song options: 1. And someone went down the hill; 2. I got drunk and drunk; 3. A Christmas tree was born in the forest; 4. My bunny (Kirkorov); 5. A million scarlet roses; 6. A stream flows, a stream runs; 7. Smoke from menthol cigarettes; 8. I'm lying in the sun; 9. The girls are standing on the sidelines; 10. We are not stokers, we are not carpenters. The list may be different.

Presenter: And now, I gladly give the floor to our honorable (full name of the hero of the occasion).

(The host of the event says to everyone who comes)

Presenter: You know what we forgot about, and we forgot about initiation into pensioners. The diploma was presented, congratulations were voiced, but the main thing was only now remembered! But fortunately I took care, prepared everything, all that remains is to voice it!

(The hero of the occasion reads out a comic oath)

Example: I swear that I will rest, I will not forget my friends, And sometimes I will be with them, I will even drink some balm! I swear to wander, walk and sleep, I swear not to look for work, I swear that I will laugh, and I will enjoy life! I swear I will run every evening, Go to meet my friends, I swear I will not lose heart, I am ready to become a pensioner!

(The oath may be different)

Presenter: This is all good, but since (full name of the hero of the occasion)

, we have no experience on how to behave in retirement, we decided to take care of this and stocked up on advice!

(The floor is given to friends who have already retired. Can be performed as ditties)

Congratulatory person 1: I retired, now I don’t know what I should do better, I read books!

Congratulatory person 2: I go to the store three times a day, that’s right, There’s news and gossip, And a beer barrel!

Congratulatory 1: Don’t be afraid of pensions, friend, You’ll like it here, They’ll pour some balm here, Good health!

Congratulatory person 2: Sometimes I’m retired, Sometimes I get bored, But as soon as I remember about work, I immediately let go!

(You can do without this part if you are not among the invited pensioners)

The host announces a 10-15 minute dance break.

Presenter: I suggest you, friends, to remember the past, to tell stories, to revive the feast!

(Guests share funny stories related to the hero of the occasion)

Presenter: Not only warm words, They will decorate the holiday, a wonderful evening, Friends brought gifts, To honor retirement!

Presenter: Thank you all for this evening, I want to say on my own behalf, I wish you joy, happiness, Love your retirement. More rest, success, less troubles and fuss, Let the world embrace you, May your dreams come true!

Presenter: I join the wishes, And on my own behalf I want to say, May everything be wonderful for you, I wish you not to be bored!

Presenter: Until we meet again, the evening is over, But we will cherish in memory, The moment is so warm and beautiful, What a pity that time will flow...

If desired, you can add a few more to the script.

Victoria Gutnik

Scene “Seeing off to retirement”

Dear Maamites! I bring to your attention a scene for seeing off female employees on retirement. We saw off our manager.

Leading:

Attention! The solemn moment of our meeting is coming! Today the head of the Morozko kindergarten ___ will be initiated into Young Pensioners. This act is carried out on the initiative of the State Pension Fund of Russia. We invite its representatives.

Grandmothers come in to the beat of drums.

Stay where you are. One - two. Right. One - two. (one grandmother turns to the right, the other does not, and she turns her around)

As the French say: “ant und einzig zwei unt zwan-zig” - let’s get down to business.

Come out, our friend. Now we will publicly accept you into the society of pensioners.

Repeat after us (they hand over a scroll or a printed oath in a frame):

I, a young pensioner of Russia, joining the honorary society of working and non-working pensioners, moderate drinkers and non-drinkers, poking my nose everywhere, solemnly swear:

1. Be a worthy member of society, that is, always be in sound body and sound spirit. Don’t let yourself be brought down by either the wind, or your husband, or illness, or drunkenness. I swear!

2. Work tirelessly, without stretching your legs and walk along any road without support. I swear!

3. Be sharp with your tongue, eyes and ears. Do not give in to measles, sadness, or cold. I swear!

4. Make all your desires come true, since abstinence is dangerous at this age. I swear!

5. Drink to the bottom little by little, but do not lose the path to the house. I swear!

(When pronouncing the word “I swear!” the grandmother hits her forehead with a musical hammer.)

Well, well, our friend! From now on, you don’t have to work, but only advise, that is, point the finger.

Your pension will be paid in dollars and euros in ruble equivalent. Be calm, our friend. You will receive your pension regularly

-(To the guests.) And you all stay in peace!

Oath of the Young Pensioner

I, a young pensioner of Russia,

joining the honorary society of working and non-working pensioners,

in moderation for drinkers and non-drinkers,

poking their noses everywhere,

I solemnly swear:

1. Be a worthy member of society,

that is, to constantly be in a sound body and sound spirit.

Don’t let yourself be brought down by either the wind, or your husband, or illness, or drunkenness.

2. Work tirelessly, without stretching your legs and walk along any road without support.

3. Be sharp with your tongue, eyes and ears.

Do not give in to measles, sadness, or cold. I swear!

4. Make all your desires come true,

since at this age abstinence is dangerous. I swear!

5. Drink to the bottom little by little, but do not lose the path to the house.

If you are tasked with preparing a farewell ceremony for your friend or relative, then try to make this anniversary evening as fun and interesting as possible.

After all, seeing off retirement is an important milestone in the life of any person.

Prepare a retirement scenario that will include funny ditties, games and skits.

Scenes for seeing off a woman’s retirement should be funny and cool, so that there is no regret that an important stage of life has been passed.

Scenario for seeing off a man’s retirement “Hello pension”

Of course, it is necessary and important to start with the design.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s a banquet hall or an apartment, everything should have a festive look. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to hang photographs of the future pensioner on the walls, or make one large collage poster. Also, don’t forget about balloons and ribbons, paper garlands and lights. The second stage of preparing the holiday is musical accompaniment. Here it is necessary not only to take into account the taste of the person retiring, but also the age characteristics of the invitees. Next, according to the menu plan, the seating of the guests, and now, almost everything is ready. Characters : Presenter, Presenter, guests.

Props : gifts for competitions, a “Happy retirement” diploma, cards with phrases, a bag, pieces of paper with the names of songs, a bag.

The guests are seated, the future pensioner sits at the head of the table.

Presenter: Good evening, ladies, gentlemen, I’m glad to see everyone, I’m friends, The reason for the meeting is excellent, Pension has arrived, hurray!

Presenter: (Full name of the hero of the occasion), Today all the lights are for you, And at this moment, and at this hour, I congratulate you from the bottom of my heart, May your dreams come true!

Presenter: The first toast, to the venerable management, because you, like no one else, know our esteemed (full name of the hero of the occasion).

Presenter: Today’s evening promises to be interesting, and now, I would like to start by presenting an honorary diploma to the honorable (full name of the hero of the occasion). I warn you, this is not an easy confirmation of your pension, it is a kind of ticket to a new life, and a solemn reminder of the path traveled (hands over a diploma).

The diploma should be humorous. For example, it should say the following: The diploma is awarded (full name of the hero of the occasion) for excellent mastery of the following vital disciplines: - Mathematics - excellent (mastery of your finances, in particular nest eggs, thorough); - Geography - excellent (in any condition and under any circumstances finds the way home); - Russian language - excellent (can easily agree on everything); — Music is good (not a bad game on the nerves of loved ones and colleagues). Based on the above disciplines, we can say with confidence that we are ready for the next stage - retirement!

Presenter: We worked so hard, it’s time to rest, The years have flown by quickly, But a pension is necessary in life, And you can’t go anywhere without it!

Presenter: You know, (names the year when the hero of the occasion went to first grade) in one of the ordinary schools, there was one smart, intelligent boy, with very kind eyes and a big heart. He grew, developed, became a person and made his own plans. In (the year of entering the institute), everything became obvious and understandable. Dreams appeared that needed to be quickly realized, ambitions, aspirations, and now, after a long search, that same smart boy came to (name of organization). Then it was (the year of starting work), excitement, fear, mastering a new activity, meeting colleagues and a long-awaited salary. Everything is the same as everyone else, everything is the same as always, but one thing made it different from the others (names the main quality of the hero of the occasion). And here it is, the long-awaited retirement, on which your colleagues rush to congratulate you.

(A short slide show can be shown here if the establishment has a projector)

Presenter: I would like to know now how you will congratulate, But, I will complicate the task, And I will order a rhyme for you!

Competition "Rhyme-making" . From all those present, 5-6 participants are selected and given one rhyme. The task is to come up with a greeting. Time spent 1 minute. Then everyone reads out the results and the best one will receive a prize. The winner will be determined by applause.

Rhyme options: 1) I hasten to congratulate you on your retirement, And wish you well.

2) So the pension has come, it has brought happiness and rest.

3) The event is important, you can’t argue with it, you need to love your pension, my friend.

4) Happy retirement to you, hurray, The years have passed so quickly.

Presenter: All congratulations are beautiful and special, but it seems to me that it’s time to read out my congratulations to family members!

Presenter: Congratulations, this is of course good, but how about praising our (full name of the hero of the occasion)?

Competition "Praise me, praise me." 5-6 participants are selected. Everyone must say a laudatory adjective based on the given letter of the leader. The one who names the most will win. For repetition - elimination.

(The presenter offers a drink for all the positive and mentioned qualities)

Presenter (addresses the hero of the occasion): But tell me, what do you plan to do in retirement?

Example phrases. I will retire. 1. . knit socks and scarves; 2. . read the magazine “Murzilka”; 3. . discuss fashionistas at the entrance; 4. . ring the neighbors doorbell and run away; 5. . listen to music loudly, setting the rhythm for your neighbors; 6. . dress fashionably and seduce local old ladies; 7. . play football with local kids; 8. . learn to be a hacker; 9. . do nothing and just enjoy life.

Presenter: (Offers a drink so that everything will be so, after which a 15-minute dance break is announced)

Competition "Song". Requires preparation. First, put pieces of paper with the names of the songs in a bag and mix. Several participants are selected. Everyone pulls out a piece of paper and gets their song. The task is to “show” the song without words. You cannot make sounds, hum tunes, you need to use gestures to explain which song you got. When they guess right, sing. Time for each participant is no more than a minute. Whoever shows the fastest and guess whose song will win a prize. You will need: pieces of paper with the names of the songs, a bag.

Presenter: And now, I gladly give the floor to our honorable (full name of the hero of the occasion).

(The host of the event says words of gratitude to everyone who came)

(The hero of the occasion reads out a comic oath)

(The oath may be different)

Presenter: This is all good, but since (full name of the hero of the occasion) has no experience on how to behave in retirement, we decided to take care of this too, and stocked up on advice!

(The floor is given to friends who have already retired. Can be performed as ditties)

Congratulatory person 1: I retired, now I don’t know what I should do better, I read books!

Cool scene for seeing off retirement

Characters: God of Work, God of Vacation, Goddess of Salary, Goddess of Pension.

Props: costumes for the gods are made from ordinary sheets, head wreaths are made from artificial branches or paper.

Host: There is an old legend about how candidates for pensioners are accepted: a whole council is convened on the divine Olympus - to accept or not to accept? And everything happens like this... (The Gods enter the hall.)

God of Work (addresses other gods): I, the God of Work - Truden - have gathered all of you on the professional Olympus and solemnly announce: we have a new candidate for retirement!

Gods: Oh, how great! How nice!

God of Work: Yes, that means we have work again! Now we will thoroughly check this candidate. I'll be the first to start!

Truden approaches the colleagues of the hero of the occasion and asks them questions: did she work well, did she help others out, did she quarrel with her superiors, etc.

God of Work: Well, candidate, you are lucky: your colleagues characterize you with dignity. But this is not enough. Come on, God of Vacation, now do your check!

God of Vacation: I am the God of Vacation - Gulban. Work without rest is like winter without snow. Now I’ll check if you’ve learned to rest properly!

1. Choose the right option (you, guests, can also choose - we’ll check you at the same time!) - Canary Islands, Maldives, Hawaii or dacha?

2. Question two: diving, surfing, snorkeling or fishing?

3. Question three: Martini, Hennessy, Jack Daniels or homemade wine?

God of Vacation (sums up): dreaming is not harmful, but you need to relax within your means!

God of Work: Okay. And now over to the Salary Goddess!

Goddess of Salary: I am the Goddess of Salary - Penny. It's time to say goodbye forever, dear candidate.

Do you remember how you waited for me every month? How did you count days and even minutes? And then, after waiting, she called me miserable, pathetic, insignificant! And then she spent it all, to the last...

But I don’t hold a grudge, it’s all in the past. Now will you meet the Goddess of Pension, and will you promise to protect and respect her? Do you promise that your children will not take her away from you? Do you promise to buy chocolates for your grandchildren with her help?

The hero of the occasion promises.

God of Work: So, candidate, you passed all the tests with honor! We officially accept you into the ranks of full-fledged pensioners and place you at the disposal of the Goddess of Pension!

Goddess of Pension: I am the Goddess of Pension - Pension! From now on, I’m taking patronage over you. But first, you need to take the pensioner’s oath.

PENSIONER'S Oath:

I, A YOUNG PENSIONER, ENTERING THE RANKS OF PENSIONERS, IN FACE OF MY FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES, SOLEMNLY SWEAR: - TO WAIT FOR, LOVE AND TAKE CARE OF MY PENSION. -DO NOT SPEND IT ON MEDICINES AND DOCTORS. -USE IT FOR ITS PURPOSE: FOR ENTERTAINMENT, CRUISES AND NEW OUTFITS. I SWEAR! I SWEAR! I SWEAR!!!

And now I’m giving you a real savings book, big enough to fit numbers with ten zeros in it! (Gives a drawn savings book. You can arrange a cash gift in this way - put an envelope with money or a gift certificate in it.)

The gods put a homemade “Honorary Pensioner” medal on the hero of the occasion.

Scenario for an evening celebrating a woman's retirement

The presenter is provided with information about the kindergarten, school, college, technical school, institute where the hero of the day studied, a list of enterprises and positions where she worked, in chronological order. Props:

A comic certificate for a unique contribution to the “life” of the team (regularly watered the ficus tree in the office, baked excellent cookies for tea, etc.).
Comic “Certificate of Quality” for the hero of the day.
“Golden” medals (made of foil or a round chocolate bar in a golden wrapper) for winning competitions.
Postcards and pens.

The drinks list includes champagne.

Presenter Every person from the moment of his birth is born many more times:

at the age of seven, a schoolboy is born on September 1; then came the days of appearance:

October;

pioneer;

Komsomol member;

applicant;

student;

trainee;

bride or groom;

young mothers and fathers;

certified theorist;

young practitioner;

experienced worker;

Grandmothers and grandfathers;

pensioner.

There are always close people next to everyone who help to move to a new stage and, as it were, pass it on to the future period of life. Our “Maria Ivanovna” has collected a much larger list, which we need to consider and approve today at this glorious meeting. Like every serious meeting, I propose to conduct ours according to the rules I have read, not to skip any stage known to us, to announce all the circumstances loudly, raising filled glasses. To confirm the veracity of the speakers’ words, I propose to approve a commission that transfers its faithful colleague, and a commission that accepts its beloved wife, mother, and grandmother into full and unconditional family membership. I propose to appoint “Ivan Ivanovich” as the head of the admissions committee, a faithful companion of the hostess for N___ (years of marriage of the spouses) years. Since today we are sending Maria Ivanovna into a new life, we will take the departure of a new ship on its maiden voyage as an example of the beginning of the journey and will open our holiday with champagne. I propose to announce the beginning of the meeting with a festive fireworks display of opening champagne and filling the glasses.

The boss speaks in his own words. Presenter To make it easier for the members of our “selection committee” to evaluate what treasure they are accepting, and for the chairman of the “transfer committee” to prepare for the presentation, let’s give the floor to a faithful school friend, let her talk about a cheerful, smart girl who came to school No. (number of years) back.

School years are a long time, Backpacks, braids, a fun lesson, Less often - an exam, an assessment, a diary, The years have flown by - the bell is not forgotten.

A school friend speaks in her own words. Presenter Now everyone can see what our Maria Ivanovna looked like in those years. The granddaughter (name), who is surprisingly similar to her, but lives surrounded by modern iPods and iPads, will share her school experience.

Lessons are made more boring in notebooks, Textbooks are too lazy to carry with you, There is Internet in your smartphone to instantly find answers on the most difficult day.

Presenter But our Maria Ivanovna was not only busy with homework, she learned to sew (knit, embroider) in the school group, and today’s wonderful dress (suit) was made according to her sketches. Besides, she never missed discos and loves to dance.

Presenter The school years passed quickly, but the student years flew by even faster. Choosing a profession was not easy, our hero of the occasion has so many interesting hobbies! Now our hostess will tell you how she chose (the name of the educational institution), and her friends from her student days will confirm and complement her words (in case something has already been forgotten). The floor is given to friends. Presenter The teachers prepared a wonderful young specialist, like Maria Ivanovna who came to her (first job). Our hostess has a lot of abilities and strength, so after (number of years) she received her first promotion (qualification or position - what is the entry in the work book). The excursion in those years will be led by an old friend and for many years - a colleague (full name). The floor goes to my first colleagues and friends at work. Presenter Work is an important part of Maria Ivanovna’s life, but not the only one, as her husband (Ivan Ivanovich) will now confirm. He will tell you how he lived in those years with his young wife, a young specialist and the young mother of their first child. The husband speaks in his own words. Presenter All the difficulties of youth are remembered with warmth when you see the joyful expression on the faces of friends and colleagues gathered in this room, and the happy smiles of relatives - husband, children, grandchildren. Therefore, we can move on to the present day and continue the work of our “receiving and transmitting commissions.” To announce the full characteristics of our hostess and present her with a certificate of honor, the floor is given to the most experienced expert of the hero of the day - the leader of Maria Ivanovna with (number of years of joint work) - years of experience, Pyotr Petrovich. The leader speaks in his own words. Presenter The friendly team does not want to lag behind its leader. To draw up a collective image of our Maria Ivanovna, the floor is given to a representative of the trade union committee. A representative of the trade union committee speaks in his own words.

Presentation of a certificate to the hero of the occasion

Presenter To confirm all of the above verbally, the management of the company (company name) provides the appropriate quality certificate. To read out and transfer the document to the receiving party, the floor is given to a colleague, a representative of the Consumer Rights Protection Bureau (full name). Quality certificate issued to Maria Ivanovna, confirming possession of:

high professionalism;

unfading beauty;

inexhaustible diligence;

inexhaustible optimism;

inexhaustible kindness and readiness to come to the rescue in any situation.

The validity period is unlimited. The certificate is presented to the chairman of the receiving party - the husband. Presenter All of the above repeatedly confirms what a wonderful student our hostess is, but she will have to learn to live in retirement and “retirement”! Her friend (full name), a pensioner with (number of years in retirement) years of experience, will share her experience. A retired friend speaks in her own words.

Presenter What a wonderful woman and master of her craft the team (the name of the company in which the hero of the occasion worked) conveys, everyone has already heard, and her husband Ivan Ivanovich received the appropriate certificate, but what kind of meeting was prepared for her at home, the daughter (son) (name) will tell.

Our mother doesn’t know how to idle, Such a thought never comes to her, The beds are tired of waiting - only when it gets warmer, And the dacha will only be released sometimes.

There is already a plan for rearranging the room, And teaching my granddaughter to crochet, She won’t be bored, and in the family staff She will find a position where she can spin like a top.

The daughter (son) speaks in her own words.

Drawing up a humorous draft solution

Presenter Everything that has been said must be documented and it’s time to start drawing up a draft decision of our solemn meeting, for this I ask you to name the most correct adjectives that suit our hostess. Draft decision On this (1 adjective) day, after listening to the (2 adjective) comments and (3 adjective) suggestions of the (4 adjective) comrades present here, the (5 adjective) team makes a (6 adjective) decision to conduct the (7 adjective) woman, to (8 adjective) pension, and (9 adjective) family (10 adjective) meet her, (11 adjective) greet her and not let her go anywhere. The adjectives named by the guests are inserted into the text of the project, the finished solution is read out and given to the husband. You can pass the resulting set of words to different groups of guests and create several options. The best text will be chosen by the hero of the occasion herself. Musical arrangement, number of dances and competitions depend on the composition of the guests. In the “adult” team there may be a lover of songs or jokes; such people quickly discover themselves and can significantly help the toastmaster in holding the banquet. Arranging for retirement is integrally connected with the profession and field of activity of the hero of the day. It is very important to prepare souvenirs that are characteristic of your former job.

A funny scene for seeing off your retirement

A participant comes out, poorly dressed, in a headscarf, approaches the future pensioner and sings her a song to the tune of “I’m standing at a stop in a colorful half-shawl.”

I came to you unexpectedly, not at all long-awaited, I’m sorry - it’s not my fault! I’ll just say that I don’t believe it. And I’ll check your passport: You look only 17 years old! (repeat last line)

You are smart, beautiful, I like everything about you so much! I suggest we be strong friends! After all, you are now free, I confess publicly: It’s so fun to live on retirement!

So that we can have a glass, I’ll take a reliable Russian antidepressant out of my purse! (takes out a bottle of vodka) We will drink to our friendship And we will raise optimism, After all, a pension is a guarantor of stability!

Comic congratulations for retirement “Ambulance team with gifts”

This is a costumed congratulations for a pensioner who is about to retire. Depending on the specific culprit and the composition of the guests, changes can be made to make the congratulations targeted. A comic congratulation for retirement “Ambulance with gifts” will be more effective and fun if you make the characters contrasting: a stern doctor and a cheerful nurse, or both roles played by men in disguise.

To carry out this comic congratulation you need: medical suits, an emergency kit - maybe for children, cognac with the inscription “Balm”, disposable glasses, one must have a measuring scale, sweets, a carton of milk and a beautiful bottle of alcohol, a chocolate bar as a gift